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I want to spend all my time with him, yet when I'm with him I find myself wishing him away! Why am I feeling like this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 July 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hey i dont really know where to start. I guess i just want someone to try and tell me what they think im feeling, because im so confused i dont know.

I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years and spent everyday crying and arguing and pleading with my ex boyfriend to just show me some love. A year ago i ended it.

Then in decemember i went out for a night out and ended up kissing a boy that used to be in my school. Then we started speaking via facebook and seeing each other every saturday night when we went out with mates and i used to get excited when he spoke to me and he would be on my mind constantly. We ended up being with each other every night we went out and exchanged numbers, and i couldnt wait for him to make me his girlfriend. Every other boy ive been with ive been wary about whether i should be his girlfriend or whether i should wait, but with him i couldnt wait so in february, 2 months after we started talking we got together.

Things have been amazing up until about a 5/6 weeks ago, he treats me like a princess and he is absolutley gorgeous! He's forever telling me how gorgeous i am and complimenting me, we go out and he always pays, i have to sneakily try and pay for things. He goes out of his way to make sure im happy and our sex life is amazing! I feel so respected and loved by him.

Yet a month ago i started to feel like i was going off him, i was getting fed up of spending time with him and i stopped getting excited to see him. I needed some space from him yet part of me didnt want to not see him. Then 4 weeks ago i went on holiday and the weekend before i left was amazing and then when he had to leave mine so i could go on holiday i felt this horrile empty feeling, i didnt want to go, and i spent the night in tears. For the first 2 weeks i missed him so much it hurt and wished my holiday away, i couldnt stop crying and i spent all my time talking to him.

Yet with a week left of my holiday i suddenly got the feelings back of not caring, and he was sending me long texts telling me how much he loved and missed me, and i felt like i didnt want to tell him i loved him. Usually his long texts would make me smile and want him, yet i felt nothing.

When i got home i was nervous and excited to see him, and for the first week everything was perfect i felt in love and happy, yet slowly these feelings and thoughts have creeped back.

I would never, ever finish with him, yet i feel like i dont want him. Which is what i dont understand, i want to spend all my times with him, yet when im with him i find myself wishing him away. I would be devestated if he told me he didnt want me or love me. I dont know whether im just being paranoid and need to stop convincing myself i dont love him, because i genuninley think i do love him. I would do anything to make sure he wasnt hurt, and i still think about him all day, every day. He's the last person i think about before i fall asleep and the first when i wake up. He's gorgeous and amazing, but i feel like theres something missing.

What shall i do? i really just want to forget about all this and enjoy him, but i cant.

View related questions: exchanged numbers, facebook, kissing, my ex, on holiday, sex life, text

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A male reader, Flyguymyeye United Kingdom +, writes (14 July 2010):

It's because he is being too nice and is no challenge for you. Don't live in each others pockets, spend time apart in your own interests and you will appreciate the time you do spend together.

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