A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Of all the porn that is there on the net, and in hard copy, i have seldom come across a photograph of a real virgin girl with her hymen intact. I am a male and from a conservative society, and am going to marry soon. The marriage is an arranged marriage and i havent talked with my bride yet. I have only seen her once and that was also at a distance. I have seen tons of photos of girl's vaginas in the porn on the net, but i desire to see a virgin vagina, how does it look like with the hymen intact? Maybe it is an inside feeling in me to look at my bride's privates before getting into her and making sure she is really and truly virgin. Any help appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): You'll never be able to tell if she's truely still a virgin, so you're also going to have to show the same amount of faith when you marry her by trusting that she really is a virgin.
A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 You can't always tell if someone is a virgin or not. Not by looking or feeling. Like it was said before, some women are born withouth a hymen, and for some the hymen breaks through varies activities, such as swimming, horse riding, any form of athletic sports, even riding a bike! There is so many ways for it to break, and the girl may not even know.
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A
female
reader, ElectricSheep  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 From your location, I can (accurately) guess that you are a Muslim, and I happen to be familiar with the culture. So I will take that fact into account when answering.
Like others before me have said, for many reasons a hymen is not always intact, some girls aren't even born with one.
Now, you want to make sure that your future wife is a virgin. In Islam, like in other monotheistic religions, the male and female are encouraged to be virgins when going into marriage. Whether one is a virgin or not is between him/her and their God. No one else needs to know (even a future spouse).
In your situation, the most important thing is that the girl you're marring is a good person. You can't go into marriage doubting whether she's a virgin or not! Think about how nervous she is going to be feeling. An intact hymen is no accurate indication of a girl's virginity. You just have to trust whatever she says, and not to have doubts after that. A hymen is just a piece of skin! That shouldn't mean anything, all that counts is her character.
I also know that porn is looked down upon in Islam. You can't be a hypocrite saying you want a virgin while at the same time looking at porn. I know almost all guys have watched porn, but my answer is directed to your situation; if you follow your culture which is about placing importance on virginity, then follow the other aspect of it that says porn should be avoided.
I wish you a successful marriage!
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 This question remind me of Russel's statement {Who is noble prize winner philosopher of England], Who has studied Greek Civilization, influenced by Pagan culture...and then the influence of Christianity, which is as if evolved from and revolved around the ideas of 'virginity' in female, actually this ideas of virginity came from GOTH TRIBE, culturally backward tribes.....and specifically note that, "All great achievement of the past vanished with this ideas of 'virginity', because people begin to formalize religion with VIRGINITY...and not with other human quality- of honesty, rationality, consistency, reasoning mind, and more, ...they totally forget to respect SEX, WHICH WAS THE WHOLE MARK OF ANCIENT RELIGION, ANCIENT CIVILIZATION AND CULTURE.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (13 March 2010):
 Many women are born with no hymen, many women loose their hymen just by walking, jumping, swimming or doing other normal things. Then again, many women are not virgins, but go to the doctors and have their hymen replaced. Your culture likes virginity, but there is no way to prove if a woman is a virgin or not. You'll just have to trust her word that she has not had sex before, and make sure she's happy so your marriage will be blessed and your children will grow strong.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 You are not going to get any help here. When I was a girl I had no interest in looking into my vagina through the mirror. I doubt any girl would unless she's be sexually molested. No one sane in the world would take photos of a virgin vagina. There are virgin vaginas in child porn. These are children who were probably mind controlled and treated cruelly. As a buyer of child porn you are supporting this inhumane treatment of children. You can never know whether one's a virgin because (1) girls are good at lying and looking innocent at the same time (2) girls can have anal sex and everything else but, to preserve her hymen (3) There are hymen reconstructive surgeries where a skin flap is sewn onto the vagina walls
You say you are from a conservative society but do you identify yourself with that culture? Have you ever had a desire to free yourself from all cultural restrictions?
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (13 March 2010):
You won't be able to tell by looking. AND inspecting your bride on your wedding night like she's some sort of farm animal you bought and paid for doesn't exactly bode well for trust and romance.
Virgins don't always have in-tact hymens... they can break due to a lot of other factors than sex. Gymnastics, horsebackriding... even masturbating. I'd stop obsessing about virginity and focus more of your attention on how you can be a good husband and develop a loving, trusting and respectful relationship with the woman you are about to marry.
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