A
female
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anonymous
writes:I dont know if this will get published, but i was just wondering, when you're getting into foreplay and stuff, is it acceptable to want the guy to go down on you - but not go down on them? It's just that i've heard it's REALLY nice for females and would happily try it, but i have always felt repulsed at doing it to him. Is this fair in a relationship? I'm 17.lol :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry guys i havent checked in a while. i agree with the answers that mentioned how sex is not about keeping score but compromising to satify each other, im seventeen and have never actually been in a relationship-i was just speaking hypothetically and i didnt realise that sex doesn't have expectations and exacts. thanks to those people for giving me this insight!! :)
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 May 2008):
 If he enjoys it and you don't go down on him ,
then it is unfair.
If you know those feelings and enjoyed it when he goes down on you , then he should also enjoy it .
But if he does not enjoy it or do not mind and respects you ,
then it is fair.
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A
male
reader, LonelyTwo  +, writes (7 May 2008):
The guy going down on the girl and the girl not going down on the guy is normal for what I've experienced.
Why don't you like going down on a guy. I think women may not like it becuase they fear choking on it, or when he comes. Girls don't have to shove the whole thing down there throat for the guy to be pleasured. Some girls fear cleanliness, if so, both of you bathe before sex is good practice anyways.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (6 May 2008):
 2 way street my dear.
if he's happy to do it with out recieving then.. lucky you.
other wise you reap what you sew.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): I understand...I'm in the same sort of position. I've spoken with my partner, and he understands. (I feel demeaned by the action, and he respects that.)
That being said, I do not "expect" anything from him, nor do I think it's fair to "expect" anything. It he's not in the mood, and I am, well, I accept that and respect his feelings.
What it comes down to, is sex is not something where you keep score. It's about loving and caring for one another. If you are not comfortable with giving oral sex, for whatever reason, it is your responsibility to have a candid conversation with your lover. If approached correctly and honestly, all problems can be worked out in a way that is acceptable to both parties.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (6 May 2008):
 well i guess if he wants oral it isnt fair. If he doesnt care about it it wont matter.
But sex isnt really a equal point system, where you both have to have the same points. As long as you both are happy at the end its all good
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A
female
reader, snazzy yaz +, writes (6 May 2008):
 it is up to you what you want to do within a relationship. it is fair as there seems to be no proplems within the relationship. my friend is exactly the same and there has never been a proplem. gd luck with everything tho
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): Is taking head while giving none fair? Of course it isn't - unless he doesn't want head, in which case it's fine. Bottom line: don't expect a "partner" to satisfy your needs and desires if you're unwilling to do the same for them. It's selfish. Relationships are about give AND take - that's as true of doing the housework as it is of sex.
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A
female
reader, LJ001 +, writes (6 May 2008):
 Did the last post get the wrong idea, or is it me? I got the impression that you meant you didn't like going down on him, not the other way round.. Anyways, if I have got the right impression, then I guess this is fair as long as he doesn't mind! Guys love recieving oral too mind, so if you can just relax yourself and have a go, then I'm sure he won't mind if you have to stop. Give it a go, you never know, once you're sure of what you're doing then you can enjoy it too :]
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A
female
reader, Jen86 +, writes (6 May 2008):
Yes its fair. I'm in the same situation. If ur bloke doesn't like going down on u then don't expect him to. Explian that u don't like it and he won't expect u 2 if he's decent emough. If he tries mpushing you into it tho, bite him. He'll get the hint
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