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I want to please him but I find anal really painful!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My bf that I've been with for years wants to try something new .. Hmm .. Hes been asking me to let him put it in my butt .. But I don't like it ! It's painfully and I want to please him , but at the same time I feel like he should be more considerate with me.., I don't know what to do

!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank u all for taking ur time to give me some advice .., I really needed it :)

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (25 April 2012):

person12345 agony auntDon't do it. It hurts, why should you suffer so he can have his porn-fantasy? You have a hole that's made for this, it's called a vagina and that one shouldn't hurt at all. Most women hate anal sex, only about 25-30% will even tolerate it, far fewer enjoy it. He shouldn't be pushing you if it hurts. It's actually pretty sick that he could even get pleasure knowing how much pain you're in.

You should pull up pictures of a dildo online and say, "if you like anal so much, you first." He is the one with the prostate after all.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012):

What you should do is stop doing it and talk to him about it.

If you are grown up enough to have sex and anal sex at that then you are grown up enough to have a conversation about it.

If it's hurting you, right then and there, you need to stop! Anal sex should not hurt if you both are doing it right. You are going to cause physical damage to your body if you continue, so stop.

If you do not like it, you should not being doing it just to please him! He only wants it because it's something "new" and he's surely seen it plenty of times watching porn....but what scares me about this for you is, what he is seeing in porn is a show and not how it really is for normal people...what you are NOT seeing is the prep before hand....the girl has not likely eaten a meal since the day before, she has cleared out her waste and probably used an enema, some use a butt plug to stretch their anus before hand, it goes on and on and all your man is seeing is a penis going into her ass "for the first time" ya right lol, and how easily it goes and how much she just LOVES it! It's so far from reality.

If you think you might like it, then you both need to take it really, really slow, use plenty of lube, you need to relax and be in total control until you are comfortable and want to continue. At no time should he force his penis, or move even an inch without your direction until you are at that place you want more. You also might need to try various positions at entry to find which one is best for you. And please, if his penis has even gone partially in your ass, DON't put it back into your vagina....oh man are you asking for an infection! If he's just a humping boy who can't control himself for this and follow your lead, cut it off, it's not safe for YOU.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012):

Baby, if it's painful, then don't do it!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntIf that is the only way you can please him, he should go look for a girl who likes anal.

If you don't like and don't enjoy it, STOP doing it,

Your butt, your choice.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2012):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntlook its your anus not his. end of argument.

you should not do things that damage you physically for the pleasure of someone else. first rule of respecting yourself

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (25 April 2012):

chigirl agony auntDon't have anal sex. Why is this such a dilemma for you? Sure you want to please him, but at what costs? Isn't the entire point of sex that you BOTH feel good? Find ways to please him that make the both of you happy. End of discussion. If something hurts then it's off limits, plain and simple.

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2012):

fi_the_tree agony auntYou don't have to do anything you don't want to! Forget about wanting to please him!! Why should you bother making him happy if he's not even considering your feelings!!!

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