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I want to move with him abroad but now am not sure if he's a cheater or a liar!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Long distance, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2007)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

i,m having a long distance relationship with a wonderful guy who i love dearly and am thinking of moving abroad to start a life with.

Recentley i ve been getting parranoid that he has slept with someone else,as he started to act abit distant with me on the phone afew months ago.I went to spend Xmas with him and when i arrivedstarted to unpack my stuff and noticed a condom on his dressing table,just 1 condom,so i asked why he had 1 condom and what had hasppened to the other 2 as normally the come in packs of 3 or more?! His answer was that he had bought them so that he could have a wank in comfort on his bed and not have to get up or use the trusty old sock! I thought it a bit strange but he said he was quite embarrassed about it and we left it at that.

Before i left we had a huge fight and i mentioned it again whilst argueing and he got so angry he kicked the wall and broke his toe.

Now im home i cant stop thinking about this is he cheating on me or not????

Please can someone give me some advise cos this is just breaking my heart as i love him so much but cant5 spend the rest of my life with a liar and a cheat.

View related questions: condom, liar, long distance

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007):

I think he may have been telling you the truth and he go so mad that he kicked the wall because you don't believe him...long distance realtionships are very hard, and if he did cheat on you it may have been because he can't physically get to you and men are weak and tell themselves it is just sex, it isn't right if you are in a commmitted relationship, but if you rarely see each other I think it might even be forgiveable if it was a one night stand and nothing more....and he still wants you to move to be with him....being distant on the phone does not mean anything really except that he does not want to talk right then.

I am sure moving you and the thought of being committed to you is a big step and he is probably nervous and so are you, I think you both just need to calm down and have a talk when you can rationally discuss this and what might have happened....

No one knows if he cheated except him, and you need to decide how you would feel about it for sure if he did, not about what it means, but about how you would feel about him doing that....and tell him you won't accept that kind of behavior from him once you are really together...

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