A
male
age
26-29,
*luk
writes:dear cupids,my girlfriend of 7 months dumped me on monday - she claims she cant deal with it at the moment but there has been numerous of mixed feelings from her since like caring, trusting, bitchy and not interested. i would like to move on but i cant:/. she has cried over me, i just dont understand and one minute she puts in her fb box 'cherish the moment' and now its as 'learn from your mistakes,'' these are both aimed at me, i just dont know what to do, plese help me?thanks in advance.
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male
reader, junkmailemail +, writes (9 November 2010):
Here's what you must do:
Take each day as it comes. Try to take as many positives from each day as possible. Even simple things eg. A work colleague makes you a coffee etc - you will get the idea - these things help you strengthen your self image and make you strong enough to deal with the present circumstances. Keep doing this and it will then provide a platform from which to be able to act with limited fear or pain and deal with the outcome - there will be an outcome, that's a certainty so you need to be as prepared as possible which involves being as strong as possible between now and what will come. And maybe it will all work out which I hope it does. Also she will see this change in you and will be attracted to this more direct, strong and purposeful being. Women are not attracted by weakness, believe me I am 42 years old and have 6 failed relationships and each time it happens I realise I was weak. When women say they want a spark or want to feel alive they basically mean they want to have to attract and if you show your already too caught to the point where you can't survive without her then she can't do to you what she is programmed to do. Good luck and be strong.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Yes take the advice you are getting and give her space and accept that it is over, if you dont you are just going to keep prolonging your pain.
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A
male
reader, iluk +, writes (7 November 2010):
iluk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe were going to meet up today but she said she's really confused so i decided not to till shes ready and wants, should i just leave her alone for a while?
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (5 November 2010):
Honestly, give her time by herself to sort stuff out. But I'd say while she does this, try and move on without her. Maybe someday she'll realize that you were a catch and that she made a mistake; maybe she won't. But it will only hurt you more to sit around waiting for her.
When I say move on, I don't mean go out and get another girl, but instead simply accept that things are over. What she decides is up to her, and if by chance she moves on, you can decide whether or not to take her back.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (5 November 2010):
Nobody wants to move on when they are the one that has been dumped but am afraid you are just going to have to do it because its the only way to move forward, you need to cut contact and move on.
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A
male
reader, iluk +, writes (5 November 2010):
iluk is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont really want to move on though:/ i still care about her, we've been through alot together like her mum died just before we got together and ive helped her through - she said to me last night that she doesnt know what she wants, shall i give her time or what?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (5 November 2010):
Am afriad you are just going to have to put this relationship down to experience as you grow and get over it, there will probably be many more failed relationships in your life and it doesnt get easier but you learn how to deal with them.
First off you need to cut all contact with her this will help you forget about things tell her you cant be friends as it is to hard and dont text and call each other.
As for her facebook statuses you need to also stop looking her up on facebook block her page from your site so that you wont be tempted to keep checking about what she is writing ect. as this just makes things so much worse. You need to find the courage within you to delete her.
Go out with your friends hang out and do normal teenage things. Your friends will take her off your mind for a bit. Also maybe join some classes that you are interested in or else check to see if there is a youth club in your area, also hobbies like football ect. can really help you de stress as it is physical activity.
Dont try and move on to quick by getting another girl just concentrate on your own life at the moment and making yourself happy dont move on to the next girl to fast as it will only be rebound. Just take each day as it comes and believe me you will soon find that you are thinking of your ex less and less and you will be feeling much better.
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A
male
reader, Sexy.  +, writes (5 November 2010):
well i think you should move on too, why allow her treat you like that just get a new girlfriend if she gets jealous she will come back anyway but decline good luck
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