New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244938 questions, 1084216 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I want to move in together. Should I push him or wait?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 October 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 October 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 3 months. He loves me dearly but is very afraid of marriage and commitment. I believe we should think about moving in together within the next few months. Am I asking for too much? Shall I insist a little or just wait for him to be ready?

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2005):

Hey. My advice is definitely DO NOT push him into anything. My boyfriend and I moved in together as we lived miles apart and it was the only way we could really test our relationship. We moved in after about a year of being together. He had some reservations but I was quick to convince him otherwise. He had commitment fears but we brushed them aside in the excitement of moving in together. I know he genuinely loved me and wanted to give it a go - but I think if he had his choice, he may have left it about another year or so before we made the move. Anyway, a month ago he had an affair and now we are stuck in the same house coming to terms with what has happened. He was not ready to commit and this was the outcome. Don't rush. If it is meant to be, it will be. Enjoy your time on your own and with your friends and enjoy the relationship for what it is now. When the time is right you will have all the pleasures of sharing a home and your life together - but at the right time. All the best.

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, pops +, writes (20 October 2005):

Yes, you are asking too much. If he is not ready, he is not ready. What part of " NO" don't you understand? What is the rush? If this is really a serious relationship, why can't moving in with each other wait a few months or a year? Please don't be in a hurry to be tied down for the rest of your life. Its a long time, and a mistake now can be very costly. If he is scared about a serious commitment, he has his reasons. Talk to him about those, and explore them when discussing your relationship with him, He will never be " ready " until he has resolved his fears. So, start talking to him. Don't push it. When the time comes that he is sure that you are the right person for him, regardless of any problems of difficulties that may occur, moving in with you, and getting married will be the easiest thing he has done.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I want to move in together. Should I push him or wait?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0468943000014406!