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I want to meet my online guy but my parents likely won't allow it

Tagged as: Family, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 May 2015)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone!

I really want to meet this guy that I have been having contact with for more than 2 years. We always Skype and usually text or talk on the phone. He's willing to pay for my flight but I have a dilemma. My parents are pretty strict, I am almost 21 but I do live under their roof. Basically I know that I have to listen to their rules and if no means no then I can't go. I have always listened to them no matter what. I even have listened to what my career is going to be. They feel that I will make the same mistake as my older sister or brother. If I go to the club or anywhere in general since they started their family younger than me, but I know I'm not them, sometimes I feel like they ruined my parents trust in me.I can't go anywhere without supervision after 8. I didn't learn how to drive til I was 20, I never begged like my older sister and older brother. I am the baby of the family which is another hard part. But I want to get out of their comfort zone and do something for myself for once. I don't have children, I'm single (for now) so meeting with him will only determine what we feel for each other. I also want to experience something outside of my state. I want to see other places, experience and learn, before I ever settle down and have huge responsibilities. I know I am sounding too selfish and naive to some of you, but this is my point of view of how I see things since I cut my story short about my parents. I understand that they're trying to protect me from harm but I don't want them to keep controlling me and finalizing what I do. I truly do want to see him but this issue is the only thing standing in between us meeting in person for the first time (Face to face,not technology). He's the person who can make my day better every time whether through text or voice. I'm attached to him which is detrimentally hard for me to let go. I really want to go but how? I've had friends tell me to go and that they will cover for me. But I don't want to lie like my siblings have done. I just want to tell them the truth because I don't want to lie, I hate lying. All my ex boyfriends have lied to me, betrayed me with words which is why I hate it. I'm tired of being told what to do, where I need to be, where I can or can't go, I feel suffocated by everyone. If I fuck up once, I know that I won't hear the end of it. If I feel that I love him, I know my mother will make me believe the worse in him and tell me that he doesn't love me, that I'm being used. I'm sure there's going to be someone who will tell me "Well your parents are doing what's best for you.." I just don't want what they want. I am pleasing them all the time. Yes they reward me with clothing, shelter, food, but there's just one thing that's missing and sometimes I don't know what it is. I ask myself what's missing? It's me raising my voice for once and having them to stop controlling me. I want this so bad but I can't do it without their approval. The saddest part for me either way. Plenty of fish in the sea, but this is the fish I want to see and be with right now.

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (31 May 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt Exactly. Why this fish ,rather than paying for your ticket, does not use the money to pay for his ticket to your pond, and come to show your parents that he is a nice innocuous respectable goldfish and not a potentially very dangerous shark ?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntWhy can't HE come see you? Met your parents?

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A male reader, DRAGBOY United States +, writes (31 May 2015):

DRAGBOY agony aunt

I think you shouldn't meet him yet because the fact is your parents wont let you because I sometimes tried to tell my mom to get off my back when I am trying to regain her trust after a couple lies from 3 YEARS AGO!! im not a liar but I feel for you that you fuck up once, your screwed. I also told her to stop being controlling about my life. and this one is not an example, she told me to turn on the living room tv but I said no (because I was sleeping!!) and she went berserk after I said no like I meant it. she took my phone away, my computer, my life T_T but I really am not scared saying no. but I think your parents should be smart enough to know your trying to do your job and the reward should be a nice roof to sleep under. as for your BF you should tell him to wait a bit more but if he really loves you he can wait for you at least one more YEAR. that's the good thing about strong connection. it can last a long time. but about the thing that you need to stay under their roof for a good long lifetime, screw that. save up your money to the point into buying things you need not what you want (unless you are already doing this) so you can at least live in a nice apartment or cheap house. but I would definitely let you experience and learn the world around you if you were my daughter but the cost and expenses is probably what your mother and father are thinking of. I believe you can go on a field trip with a guy for a week. long enough to get to know each other in person especially if the all expenses are paid by your guy lol. but if not they are meanyysss. but those parents of yours really have a spot on reality going on thatsomething bad may happen on that trip but you don't know. we cant see the future. it depends on how you make of it so if you trust him that badly, then again leave him waiting for a bit more time.

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