A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:im friends with benefits with this guy, and i think i'm pretty much in that stupid situation where i have more feelings for him than he does for me. it sucks cause he just acts all nice to me probably cause he wants to keep the friends with benefits thing going. well last weekend we hung out and we were just about to have sex but i told him last minute that if we were gonna do it, he had to have protection, which he understood and wasn't upset about and we still hooked up for a while after.. but i can't help but want to lose my virginity to him.i know it sounds bad that he probably doesn't want as much from the relationship except for the physical stuff, but it just kills me how gorgeous he is and how he chose to hook up with with me when he could have any other girl he wanted.. he doesn't just hook up with anyone and when he said i was gorgeous and used to text me everyday, it's hard to let go. i don't want to lose him and i like the physical stuff but it's this other part of me that wants to have something more.i feel like i would be so ready to lose my virginity to him the next time we hang out and i really want him to be my first just cause he's the first guy that actually seemed to like me for who i am and the only guy that i could actually be myself around... am i wrong to want this?
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female
reader, NeRd 1232 +, writes (18 July 2009):
Don't do it. I'm going through the exact same thing. And I have talked about wit friends and family. He's using u. Its a trap. Don't give ur most perfect gift to a jerk. If u really want him and u want him to be on the same level as u, u gotta take control. I feel like that but I just have this feeling. I know it sounds wrong but he's 21 and I'm 15 turning 16 in feb. But I'm tired of immature people. But in the end it turns out that deep down inside he is immature in a way. I started having feelings for this guy to and now every piece of the puzzle is coming back to me and I should of listened to my best friend but its true he is using me. I feel it. I feel that there is something wrong.I made a promise to myself when I was 12-13 that I wouldn't have sex until I was married. I have a ring on my left hand remind to never let a guy no matter how cute or romantic or lovey dovie he gets, to never loss my virginity unless I'm in love. But for u it can be different. Wait for the right guy, u should know. U will feel it. But not wit that guy. It will be a mistake. Good luck in ur dission.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): how can you even begin to have feelings for someone who has no feelings for you?? he made it clear, he wants sex!!! how about you do a sensible thing and get yourself someone who is preprared to love you back!!
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A
female
reader, cindy888 +, writes (11 June 2009):
you aren't wrong to want it but you will most likely get hurt because you are already too into him and you haven't even had sex yet. I would wait because I think you are looking for an emotional connection with him through sex and you won't get one. It doesn't sound like you are ready for just the sexual part, you are wanting love from him and sex won't get you that at all.
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A
female
reader, cnbn123  +, writes (11 June 2009):
look, tbh, no matter what people say about the first time, how it should be between people that love each other and all that, it doesn't stop the fact that it's going tob eawkard not very comfortable etc. so it doesn't matter if he doesn't love you, and you recognise that but still want him ss your first, then, go for it! that way you'll be able to look back on it, and say it was with a person you wanted it to be! however, keep in mind that as your first time will be awkward he needs to know this, and make sure you're sure your friends with benefits thing doesn't stop because of the awkwardness of the event. do PM me if you want... good luck xx
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (10 June 2009):
 When a guy really loves you, he will want to shout it from the rooftops. He won't sneak around with you or try to hide the fact that he is involved with you. He'll also want to protect you and your reputation. He'll even be willing to make a total fool of himself for you.
If none of this even remotely resembles what you have together, then you shouldn't even consider giving that precious gift to him, and you will probably regret it. The old saying is that girls give sex to get love, and guys give love to get sex. He's not really giving you love, is he?
It's really a drag running into a guy in the halls who has taken advantage of you, and I wouldn't give him your virginity or allow him to take further advantage of your feelings for him when he doesn't reciprocate anything. People can only use you if you let them. Stand up for yourself and dump the cad. You deserve better!
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (10 June 2009):
It sounds like you're making an emotional mistake.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm + ♥, writes (10 June 2009):
 Despite the fact, he's gorgeous, I think he is just playing you!!
Be a smart girl and hold onto your virginity. Giving into him will devalue your friendship in his eyes, as he obviously doesn't want you as a girlfriend.
Save it until you meet someone who respects and loves you...it's worth waiting for.
I don't think I am wrong when saying the chances of a 'friends with benefits' thing turning into a full blown loving relationship is very small indeed.
I hope you don't go through with it...as Army medic says...you can't ever get it back!!!
Good luck hunny
Aunty Em xxxxx
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A
female
reader, BecciHelenT +, writes (10 June 2009):
You say this guy just wants to be friends with you so he can have the friends with benefits situation. Do you really think it's worth losing something special to someone who may not have the same feelings for you? I agree with army medics comment. So many guys are like this nowadays, they know their good looking so it puts them in a position where they feel they can just go and shag who they want. If you do have sex with him you will most likely regret it after when you have realised you were just another notch on his bedpost. You don't have to do it with him just beause he is good looking and you have feelings for him. Just wait. Another guy may come along soon who will return the same feelings and it would be worth it and will make you look back and think 'wow im glad i waited'. You never know he may be a total hotty too;)
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (10 June 2009):
 Do you ever get the feeling that he might be hanging out with you because he wants to take your virginity and then find another cute virgin to charm the pants off?
He may be gorgeous and charming now but he hasn't committed to you and once you give him the only thing you can't take back, I fear he will leave you and find another gullible girl to screw over.
But if you look at all the advice here, (and I guess most of it will be along the same lines as mine.) and decide to to it anyway, make sure it is on your terms, somewhere nice and make sure you use protection.
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A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (10 June 2009):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thinking-about-losing-your-virginity.html
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