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I want to lose my virginity... so confused!

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2010)
A female Cuba age 30-35, *anja writes:

Hi,just wanted to get this out as i don't have anyone to talk to.I'm an almost 17 yr old girl and i'm beggining to feel as though i'm going to die alone.I've always told myself that this would never be something I'd worry about,but it's funny how these negative thoughts catch up with you.I've never really been in a'long-term' relationship.I like girls and boys so i suppose i swing from one to the other.Ive only ever made out before.When I was younger i knew alot of guys who wanted to get with me,and I wanted too,really wanted to,but held back because i knew it wasnt right.I dont see them anymore.I was physically repulsed by my last boyfreind,so we did'nt get past kissing.This is so stupid i know and so typical but I really want to loose my virginity.But I don't have a boyfreind and dont want one.I'd like having a freind to fool around with occasionaly.But I dont go to school,i go to tafe where there's sooo many guys,accept they all seem to be complete losers who sit around and get stoned.I don't know how i'm going to get this out of my head i know everyone will say to wait for the right guy,but I'm the most impatient person.I've even entertained ideas of contacting a freind who'd definatlely sleep with me,but this is wrong cus hes 2 years younger and a real dickhead,even though i miss him.last time i saw him we went to see a movie and he put his hand up my leg as a joke,and I felt so bad because it felt so good.Urrr anyway has anyone else been through this ridiculous 'desperate' stage.Or have advice or something.

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A female reader, single gal Botswana +, writes (21 April 2010):

you should be proud that you still dont have a baby. you shuld have a baby when YOU are good and ready.

wait.

most of my friends and age mates have kids, i still dont have because i feel i cant afford having one.

i was the last to loose my virginity among friends but it was ok, because they were ready and had bf when i didnt,.

you should look at only yourself and not compare yourself with others. you dont know the reasons they did it, they may be regretting it and not telling you.

you should loose that friend who has a hold on you, coz she doesnt respect you as a person

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A female reader, kanja Cuba +, writes (21 April 2010):

kanja is verified as being by the original poster of the question

It's probably beacuse the person tht i cared most about lost theres at 15 and put me down about it afterwards,this person seems to hav a really strong hold over me..i dont like admitting it.And then theres this ridiculous idea I get in my head,tht knowone would ever try and make my first time special,so I should just go out and finish the thing myself becuase its to himiliatiing waiting for someone to care.I guess the other thing is just curiosity,and you know I'd never go through with it,its just me feeling pathetic because in my community,im lik an old spinster already.most of the girls my age have kids,but I've never given in and screwed around like they did.Peoples comments can really get you down especially when there coming from every direction.

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A female reader, single gal Botswana +, writes (20 April 2010):

whats the rush, why do you want to have sex, if you dont want a bf. you are still to young to think of havin sex with some random guy.

you may end up feeling used or dirty after doing it,

it will be your first time and it needs to be with someone you actualy like but preferably love. loosing your virginity is a big deal even if you might not think so now.

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A female reader, Msblessed United States +, writes (19 April 2010):

Msblessed agony auntWhy do you want to lose your virginity so bad?...and to just almost anyone at that. I'm not trying to judge you but I just want to understand. Really I can tell you honestly that losing your virginity to just "lose it" isn't something you want to do. What's the rush? I dont think you should be impatient about this kind of thing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010):

The pressure to lose your virginity is put on us by society.

There is no set time ... you must wait until it's right for you. And, very importantly, until you meet the right person. Just 'losing it' for the sake of it is something you might later regret.

To put this into perspective I was 21 until I found someone it felt right to be the close with.

You have nothing to worry about!

Be yourself and not what you think you should be.

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