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I want to leave my husband and take my kids with me.

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 January 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 February 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have two kids, 2 and 5 years old respectively. My husband and I sleep separately since a year ago, no sex, and we only fight every day. I am not employed because I have to look after the kids, but I attend night classes. My husband is working.

What should I do? I want to leave him and take the kids, but I have no money, nothing, but love for my kids. I know I can do a better job than my husband when it comes to looking after them. I want a divorce but I'm also sure he'll fight for the custody.

I need advice.. desperately. I am suffering. Please tell me what I should do so that I stand a better chance of getting the custody after divorce.. and what are the procedures.. I heard moving to a sunny and warm place could help. please help!

View related questions: divorce, money

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A female reader, giasmom666 United States +, writes (9 February 2010):

I am in the same boat as you. Except I have one 2 year old. My husband moved us 1300 miles away from home to get a better job. I have no family or friends here, I also do not have a job or money. He is the bread winner, atleast you have night schooling to better yourself. I wish I could offer some advice to help but I do not as I am in the middle of trying to figure out how the heck am i gonna leave mine. I just thought it would help to know that your not the only one, it makes me feel better that im not the only one. Good Luck and I hope all goes well.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009):

I am surprised at some of the responses on here.

I really think you should see if you can get some help from Family or stay with family if you are low on cash.

I also agree that the kids at their ages will adapt well to a new lifestyle. someone told me once that my kids will be "fucked up" (no joke they said this) if I left my husband.

Life is too short. Get out of there. move on and be happy!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009):

Staying in a marriage for the kids is borderline moronic. Kids pick up on negative and positive energy, and there is no way your energy is positive. The kids are young enough that they will recover, and when you find someone new, they will adapt easier. The longer you wait the harder it is for you.

There have been PLENTY of people in your situation, don't think for a second that cause you don't have a job you won't get the kids. That is why they invented alimony and child support. The VAST majority of the time, the woman gets the kids unless there are cases of abuse, or neglect. My only suggestion would be (assuming he is good with the kids, and not abusing etc) to make sure you work out a good custody agreement with him.

If he is a good to them, they will be thankful you can put aside your pety differences for their sake, but trust me when I say, kids DO NOT want you to stay in a marriage that you are miserable in. It doesn't benefit anyone. In fact it will create issues in the children, and it created animosity between the husband and wife. It's truly a no win situation when you stay in a marriage that has no love. These kids will pick up on your disfunctional marriage and then will associate this marriage to their own. So ask yourself, would you want your kids to suffer like you are??? Cause they will follow in your footsteps when they get older. What example are you REALLY setting for them?

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A female reader, SugarCookie United States +, writes (28 January 2009):

You need to be employed and have a place that is at least two bedrooms three if the children are seperate genders. If you dont have these two things then he will win custody of the kids. I would stay until I finished school and I would just try not to fight. I would avoid him. you dont really say what the problem is but maybe you two can work things out. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009):

They say ALOT of divorces could be avoided if the husband and wife could sit down and have an ADULT, Mature conversation. It's almost too easy, but it's true. Tell him you want to call a truce, and try this. Isn't it worth one more chance for the sake of the kids?

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