A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for just over 2.5 years now. We moved in together after only 6 months as my Dad was moving away and she had no place at her parents after she moved away with her ex.My issues started early on as she had been mis-treated, both physically and mentally, by her ex. She then brought this baggage to the relationship and it really made things difficult as soon as we moved in with each other. I'm not an angry person but she would wind me up something chronic and I would tear my hair out!The last 6 months have been really nice and peaceful but one night a couple of weeks ago her insecurities came out again and I lost it. I basically said I was leaving but when things calmed down she hugged me, we cried, and then it seemed ok.My problem now is for the last month all I can think about is leaving and moving on because I don't want that hassle anymore. She says it's all in my head and that I can't let it go but I do still beleive that she will never let the baggage of her ex truly leave her.I don't know what to do and it's driving me crazy!Please, anyone, help me!
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male
reader, gamble2002  +, writes (8 July 2010):
You have been with her for 2.5 years. If you truly love her and want to be with her, help her help herself. She needs professional counseling to deal with her past so she can have a healthy future (with you if that's what you both want). Don't abandoned her and make her more insecure if she is willing to get help. If she isn't willing to get help, then you need to tell her that she is not in a position to be in a healthy relationship. I know it sound cliche, but I truly believe that you can't love someone if you don't love yourself.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, ash22245 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 tell her i do have feelings for you but i think its time move on
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A
female
reader, ruby buttons +, writes (8 July 2010):
 take a break from each other you soundlike you need to get your head together, i would tell her how you feel and tell her that her insecurities are making you depressed its not nice when a relationship gets over shadowed by the past.
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