A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this is so long, but I think details should be known.Hi guys. I'm going through some really hard times here. My boyfriend used to make me incredibly happy. He'd try his best to please me and everything for the first couple of weeks we got together. This is a long distance relationship and we have seen each other in person before. But after the beginning he seemed to have hooked me on, and I find myself constantly following him. He has grown selfish. VERY selfish. I always ask him if I can do anything for him, he never asks me that back. He doesn't ever show that he wants me, if we want to do anything sexual I need to engage him for it. He hardly compliments me. I compliment him everyday. I once asked him to compliment me more when he thinks I deserve it, and he snapped at me, asking why I can't remember the compliments he already gives me and that he never asks for anything in return (a huge lie, but he says that anyways). He only thinks he should say "I love you" once a day, and sometimes he never says it, and it would means a lot to me in this relationship. He is very emotionally manipulative. He cheated on me once but I forgave him for it.Now I want to leave him.However, this is where it gets me. He has type 1 diabetes and it has significantly cut down his life span and he could die in his late twenties or early thirties. Right now he is awaiting test results for cancer that can possibly mean he only has a month or two left in his life if he is tested positive for it, but the results may not come back for awhile. What do I do? I can't find it in myself to leave a dying person's side, yet I'm miserable in our relationship because we cannot talk about anything or else I get yelled at. He cares about what happens to him, but he never asks about me. Please help me, I don't know what to do. We're having a "break" right now and I plan to talk to him again soon.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): right, as weird as this sounds.. if you were dying and there was someone you loved.. you'd tell them to go live free and enjoy themselves and the only request they'd have, is to never be forgotten.. would you agree?so in this case, if he loves you and wants to make you happy, the happiest thing he could do for you is let you go and let you be happy...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Hey guys, this is the poster of the original question.
I'm not 13-15; I am 18, I'm sorry about that.
He had this little thing called diabetic ketone acidosis three times in his life and it basically screwed up his body. The cancer is thyroid- at one point he could have a fever and his temperature will never come down.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I think he is manipulating you and playing on your emotions.You don't have to believe everything he says. He could be lying and a dying person will not speak to you in that way.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I think you should leave him, but offer your friendship to him to get through this difficult times of his. You know you can't be with him just because he might die. Everyone might die. He might also live for several years, and all along you'd grow more and more distant and be living a lie. Be honest with yourself and him.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (14 April 2010):
 If he might be dying, when does he find time for you? Wouldn't he be spending his time at the hospital or with specialists?
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (14 April 2010):
You need to do some research and stop relying on his explanation. We're all dying... it just may take 60 to 70 more years for most of us...
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A
female
reader, crissyj89 +, writes (14 April 2010):
Ok, well think about this:
Why do you want to stay with him? Because he might be dying? That is no reason at all.
As mentioned above, type 1 diabetes is perfectly manageable. And cancer patients do not have an expiration date. I know cancer survivors who lived with cancer for years.
But anyway... If you don't love him and you are always miserable, leave him. Don't allow him to manipulate you any longer.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 You list your age between 13 and 15. I am going to assume he is around the same age.
Type 1 dabetes is not a death sentence, it can be managed through maintaining a healthy lifestyle, regular blood glucose testing and insulin. I personally know many people over the age of 30 who are type 1 diabetics.
Are you sure his "death sentence" is not just another means of manipulating you.
He sounds horrible, I would make the break one that lasts for ever and ever, and find somebody a little more deserving of you.
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