A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I have a niece that just turned 18 and I just turned 25, my sister had her early and our parents had me when they were a little older. So, my niece has always been very shy and quite. But she started to break out of her shell when she was in middle school and she was outgoing and everything she was fine.When she was in the 10th grade my sisters ex-boyfriend got out of jail..... and she has not been the same since. He stayed with them while my sister worked nights. and when my sister would come home in the morning he would leave. And it made me very angry because we all suggested to my sister that he did something to her. She insisted he would never!!!I think something happened to her and I do not know how to ask her. She is now in 12th grade, when she was in 10th grade she begged her mom to be home schooled. And since shes been home schooled she doesn't like to come out of the house really she just stays in her room and watches her brother all the time.(Which isn't fair at all). I volunteer to watch him but shes very overprotective of my nephew he is 5 and he has behavioral issues because he has no structure. He has actually broken five television!!! and he had no consequences.Anyway, I do not know what to do I am 25, I do not know how to help my niece. When I have time I take her to lunch or I take her shopping. We also just found out recently that my niece is has not done her home school work since August. And my sister is having another baby that she suggest my niece will be taking care of. I just need suggestion.I know she needs help I just do not know what to say. I mean I will do anything to help her.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 December 2017):
 To begin with your sisters boyfriend do you know what he was in prison for? Was it violence robbery any idea? It is strange to me that he would stay nights and then leave when your sister wasn't even there. What makes you think that he done something to your niece? Do you all believe that or just a few people? The best thing to do here is to talk to your niece and tell her your worries and she might open up to you.
There must have been a reason that she wanted to be home schooled? Did you ever ask her or your sister, maybe she was unhappy at school. I agree that it is not healthy if she stays in her room all the time but she is looking for protection for some reason you might be right in that your sisters boyfriend done something, or it could be she had a hard time at school, you need to try talking to her or else you will never know. Hopefully she has someone she is close to that she can talk to. If you are worried that your sister is not looking after her five year old properly then have a talk with your mother and tell her how worried you are.
As for helping your niece all you can do is offer a ear for her if she wants to talk. She is 18 now so she is legally an adult. If she is not doing her school work then maybe you could help her with that.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (13 December 2017):
 Your niece is 18 and so legally an adult and responsible for herself. When you are out together do you speak to her about her life?
It sounds as if the close family may all be dysfunctional. That would be nigh impossible for you to unravel on your own.
I would look to other senior members of the family with whom you may confide and get support.
Your niece seems to be seeking shelter by demanding home schooling. She may not want to give that up without a compelling reason.
However as you say she is now 18, who gets home schooling at 18? I am slightly confused by the story and also perturbed. You need older sensible heads who understand the full situation to help you find some satisfactory outcome.
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