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I want to have sex, my boyfriend only wants, to have blow jobs, how do I tell him, that I want more sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 July 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *lueys491 writes:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two months now and a couple of weeks ago we had sex for the first time. It was my first time ever but not his. But now it seems like all he wants to do is get blowjobs! how do i tell him without being too in his face that i want to have sex? : )

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A female reader, summer74j Canada +, writes (12 March 2010):

i went threw the same thing with my man......then i found out that he was gay......

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (30 July 2008):

kenny agony auntHey glad it went well for you and things worked out great.

All the best x

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2008):

BigSis agony aunt

Yay for you!! See? Happy humping Blueys.

: )

xXx

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A female reader, blueys491 United States +, writes (30 July 2008):

blueys491 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

blueys491 agony auntthanks for all the advice everyone! i pretty much just came out and told him while we were fooling around! and it worked out great!

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A male reader, Confused1985 United Kingdom +, writes (22 July 2008):

Confused1985 agony aunt69'ers might be a good next step?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008):

have the same problem with my man he likes sex but blow jobs more to the point where he fights with me saying i turn him on and its not right to leave him hanging well he sure turns me on and leaves me that way because he is to tired so stop giving him blow jobs tell him wouldnt you like me to show you a good time

then get on top off him undo your top or take it off and well show him what your made off

sometimes you need to make the frist move if he turns you down say it can work both ways sweetie and throw him the bottle of lotion and say have at it cow boy get off alone if you dont think i should be pleased either should you

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A female reader, Tigger3165 United States +, writes (21 July 2008):

Tigger3165 agony auntyou just have to tell him... maybe he doesn't think you enjoyed the sex or something... and he's afraid to initiate it... i'm sure he'd be happy to have sex again... you just have to let him know

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (21 July 2008):

O Connor agony auntthis isnt fair that he expects only blow jobs from you and gives nothing back. you need to tell him that while you are happy to give him blow jobs, its not a one way street and you enjoy sex and want it from him. its not fair for him to not have sex with you hun, he needs to know this and not saying anything will just make him think its ok to treat women like this.

talk to him, if he doesnt understand then he is a very selfish guy.

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A female reader, scrazy Canada +, writes (21 July 2008):

scrazy agony auntUnfortunately honey, boys are not mind readers. You need to use your words and tell him what you want.

It's unfair that he is the only one getting pleasure while you are left out in the cold, you even gave him your virginity!

You're just going to have to tell him that you'd like to have more sex. Or maybe you can do it more subtly by surprising him - stop halfway through a blow job and tell him it's your turn.

If he doesn't change after you guys talk, then maybe you need to consider shopping for a new boyfriend, because there needs to be give and take in a relationship. He can't always take.

All the best!

XO

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (21 July 2008):

kenny agony auntJust find a good time, preferably when you are both relaxed and express your concerns. Tell him that you feel a little neglected in the bedroom department as you feel he is getting all the pleasure. Give him a chance to change, but if after talking to him he still does not change then you may want to ask yourself if this is the guy for you, but give him the benefit of the doubt first.

All the best x

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A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2008):

BigSis agony auntBe blunt, hon, just come out with it and tell him you have needs too, and it's not fair that he should be getting all the pleasure.

You could throw in a bit or sarcasm and say 'Was I that bad the first time we had sex that you wont do it again?' Also remind him that you lost your virginity to him, the least he can do is carry on with what he started.

If you can pluck up the courage to say that to him, then give it a go.

Be strong and good luck.

BigSis

xXx

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A female reader, straight to the truth United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2008):

You need to be open about it. A sex life is for both of you to enjoy and a girl doesn't get anything out of giving a blowjob.

Next time it happens either start off by giving a blow job so that he is happy but then stop before he climaxes and move things in the direction of sex.

If this doesn't work then you will have to just speak with him and be honest that you need more.

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