A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm tempted to cheat on my husband, we've been married for less than a year. While dating we had great sex but now he's not into sex like before and I'm horny all the time. I met a guy and we've talking about sex a lot, he wants me to meet him at a hotel. I love my husband, but this guy really turns me on. what should i do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): a if he can't please you do what need to do but tell him you are not happy with sex life first and if don't chnge we only human feel me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Hello... thank you all for your advice, I know it sounds like a'm a honrny b*tch just looking for sex, and in a way I am, but my husband is very good to me and I love him very much, I don't want to get divorce or anything like that, I just want to have sex; is just that I've never had this problem before and I don't know how to deal with it. we've tried very kinky things before, but now not even those "things" help, he just doesn't want it. But I'll follow your advice and just work on my marriage. Hey mytwocents, maybe we can help each other.... kidding!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Get a Divorce and stop lying to him if you really loved him sex would never come first cause when you get old only the ones who truly love you will be at your side. So make your decision but remember it is yours to live with. Do you want a companion or a sex toy?
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A
male
reader, mytwocents +, writes (15 May 2009):
 I understand your dilemma. Unfortunately, I'm a similarly difficult situation with my gf. It's like everytime I'm starving for a big, hot meal, all I get is a small, cold snack. I walk around with a rumbling stomach most days. Then, to make things worse, there are tons of fresh, hot meals parading in front of my face on a daily basis. Maybe I'm a weak man, but I think it's slowly driving me insane. I've done pretty good keeping it together--and trying to work with her to improve it--but not much has changed, and I don't know how long I'll last. I've tried a medley of non-cheating alternatives with mixed results.
So what about you?
First of all, I give you credit for seeking advice before doing anything. Knowing how you feel, I know that's not easy.
The smart, responsible part of me wants to tell you to do the right thing and absolutely-not-cheat-on-your-husband-under-any-circumstances-whatsoever. It's devastating to be cheated on. Most people that experience it remember it as one of the worst things that happened to them. It's not worth it. Don't be selfish. Make it work. All that stuff.
The frustrated, sympathetic part of me wants to tell you to go for it. Get your fill and stay with your loving husband. Think of how good it's going to feel to get what you're craving so bad. It's like getting that hot meal you're so hungry for. And, here it is just waiting for you. Devour it. It doesn't have to mean anything. If nobody finds out, nobody gets hurt.
So, which shall you pick? Just remember: pent-up horniness can really twist your brain around. I mean BAD. A lot of people can testify to the crazy things they've done in that condition. You can see that I'm even a little clouded as I write this.
For now, I say you try to revive this husband of yours. You've only been married to him for a year and he probably still has a lot of miles on him. You need to look under the hood and see what's wrong. Maybe a little slutty fantasy will perk him up. Maybe shocking him with a crazy proposal like taping yourselves doing it or watching some porn together will rev him up. Worse come to worse, propose a threesome or that a third-party watch you two. None of those may make sense for your specific relationship, but it may communicate your frustration better than saying, "I want more sex."
Try to work WITHIN the system a little bit longer. And, be strong my frustrated sister.
(Hey, if this goes on we should meet and talk about it in person.) Kidding, kidding, kidding.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 May 2009):
 Buy a good vibrator.
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A
female
reader, bellaaddison +, writes (14 May 2009):
First, stop talking to other "guys" as you're committing emotional adultry, then call your HUSBAND and tell him you're horny and that you want to meet him at a hotel and when he gets there, f*ck his brains out!!... You didn't say that your problem was that you didn't love your husband, or that he treats you unfairly or that you've been married soooooooo long you just don't have it anymore (good God, not even a damn year!) you simply said you're horny and your husband isn't into "it" like he used to be. Stop paying attention to other boys and put some of that attention into making your husband get into "it" again!!!There's way too many people looking for outside sources of pleasure these days... it's as if people have forgotten that the vows we share say "foresaking all others..." and not just until we get so HORNY we can't help ourselves, it's 'til death do us part!!! It hasn't even been a year, surely you remember??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): Ummm...Don't cheat on your husband...
I don't mean to say "duh" here, but you took some vows, right?
If you really love your husband, you won't cheat - it's that simple.
If you are feeling sexually frustrated, try talking to your hubby, see why he's not that into it - is he too tired? Stressed? Is it time to try something new? What could you do to turn him on and put him in the mood? Or try ambushing him with a candlelit dinner or a recreation of one of your past evenings together.
Barring that, try getting more exercise, which can cut down on frustration, and getting it out of your system by masturbating. There are plenty of alternatives to an affair.
Oh, and by the way, as for your mysterious guy-pal, try to hang out with people who respect you as more than just a sex object and respect your marriage, period.
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A
female
reader, Honest_Answers  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 I'm very traditional and believe that if you're having these feelings then you don't love your husband. If you did you'd be able to talk to him and work through relationship problems. You need to make a decision to save your marriage and work on your sex life or end it and have all the sex you desire.
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