A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy recently and he told me I was really beautiful. He wasn't hitting on me; he was an older guy and I am 21 years old. He was just complimenting me. And when I told him I never had a bf before and I did not have one, he was shocked. He said he encountered some unattractive women who had boyfriends so he assumed I had one since he thought I was really attractive. He assured me that I would find someone since he thought I was really pretty. In fact, I have had many older and/or homeless men call me beautiful, but I have never really gotten interest or compliments from a guy in my age range (early, mid, or late 20s) who is at least not homeless lol. The thing is that guys barely hit on me (when I say this, I am referring to men in their 20s). In fact, I don't remember the last time a guy hit on me . I only get stares here and there but that is it, guys never make a move. I think guys are lying when they say I am beautiful because it is not like I have guys hitting on me left and right. In fact, I have tried putting myself out there a few times in college and the men just seemed to ignore me (another reason why I believe I am not beautiful). As a result, I don't feel like putting myself out there anymore. Guys in general just never seem to approach me (granted, I don't go to bars or clubs). I don't know what to do because I want to find love, but I am not sure how I should go about it. I am scared of being forever alone and not having any relationship experience at the age of 21. I don't know what it is about me that makes men not hit on me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 December 2016):
 You've had maybe ¼ of your life - don't be afraid of being alone forever, when you've only been an adult for 3 years. Being single isn't the end of the world and you'll only seem desperate, probably choosing dodgy guys, if you don't accept being single before dating.
Join a dating site. Go speed dating. Get a new hobby where you can meet people. A lot of people in bars and clubs aren't looking for commitment, so you're not really missing out on much.
Relax. You don't need to have a boyfriend yet and focusing on that will bring you down. Do you have a job? Friends? Family? A place of your own?
Work towards your own future and you will find someone that complements it, but it can take time because you don't want fate/God/universe to shove someone crappy to you, just because you want a boyfriend before a good one is ready to enter your life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2016): I got into my first relationship at the age of 21. Broke up at 22. Second relationship at 24 and I'm still in it 4 years on. Wouldn't have been with either unless I had made the first move. Throughout my life till then, I had never had any guy approach me even though I heard from others that so and so liked me. Maybe you give off certain vibes that guys find it intimidating to approach you. (that's what I heard about myself)
I would suggest just taking it easy. Since you don't like bars/clubs (I don't either and IMO it's pretty rare to find people that really want a relationship in these places) - join clubs that are related to your hobbies. You'll have greater chances of finding like-minded people there. Get to know people as people, not potential dates. If you genuinely start knowing their personality, then it might naturally progress to something else - and then you can take it to a romantic level.
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