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I want to escape my abusive, drug addicted brother

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Health, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 May 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 June 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I can't take it anymore, I hate coming home.. My brother is a drug attict, thief and a liar. All he ever does is hurt me. He steals my money, takes my things, does drug deals infront of me. Im only 16, i shouldnt have seen any of this.

i see his siringes to shoot the heroin, and his drug spoons.. He makes me hate my life. He starts all the fights with my parents, and makes it miserable for everyone else.

I just came back from vacation yesterday, and I have to be honest, i was way happier being with my aunt and uncle. for some reason, i can be myself around them. they make me feel so great, they support me, take care of me, and know so much about me. more than i know about myself.

Meanwhile, at home i barely speak to my parents. they dont know what i go through, i told them how my brother mentally hurts me, and they still keep him around me. i guess they wont understand till one day when i snap and run away.

im really considering leaving to stay with my aunt and uncle for the summer.. they make me by myself, im just so comfortable with them. im actually crying from typing this. every time i leave them to go home, i get depressed. they mean so much to me, when they pass away i will have nothing to live for. i really dont know what to do.. i feel so lonely at home.

i brought my friend on vacation with me and even she said that she loved being there with me because i was the happiest ive ever been, i was myself, i was always smiling and laughing.. but then when i get home i sit in my room, listen to sad music, and sometimes cry because i just miss them so much.

View related questions: depressed, liar, money

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (8 June 2012):

I agree with the last poster, report him anonymously if possible, to the police. living with a drug addict is dangerous, dangerous to your parents lives and to yours. you never know what they will do next, they dont even know themselves! good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012):

My two pence:

Any drug dealer, even my own brother, is a criminal. I dont know what social services would do other than what I'm about to suggest.

a) Go to your local police station and report him.

b) In the Uk at least there is a hotline for anonymous reports.

It sounds like a harsh thing to do to your own family but its for his benefit aswell as your safety. Turning friends and family into the police is no easy task but if you remember your doing it for the greater good of those around them you will be fine. I have had to do it to a friend.

Staying with your aunt and uncle is also a good idea but they might not be willing to take on the finanial responsibility unless you only stay short term.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012):

If your aunt and uncle are happy to have you then go with them, but I would also report your situation to social services, or similar for your country, because at 16 you're still a child and should not be surrounded by drug use. Your parents should be protecting you from his actions. You don't want to spend summer with your aunt and uncle and then to return home and nothing has changed.

Maybe there is someone at school who you would feel comfortable telling and they can report it for you, it could help your brother as they may find him a rehab centre but would definately have to make the home safe for you to return. If I were in your position though I would be seriously considering asking to stay with your aunt and uncle permanently because your health is at risk. What if he shared a needle with someone HIV positive or starts bringing strangers into the house who could do anything to you and your parents? People on heroin are not in control of themselves and your parents are not protecting your from this. I understand they want to help their son but they are not looking at the impact this has on you. He needs specialist help.

This is a lot for someone your age to be going through and I am glad you have a good aunt and uncle who are there for you. I hope you have a lovely summer with them x

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A female reader, VSAddict United States +, writes (30 May 2012):

VSAddict agony auntTalk to your parents again and let them know how serious you are. If they decide to take you seriously and change things, then give them a chance. If they're willing to change the situation at home, then suggest some ideas, such as making him go to counseling if he's going to be staying with you, or not allowing him to stay overnight if he doesn't quit, or you could suggest that you all meet in public places to see your brother until he gets his act together. They should be considering your feelings. Even though you're almost an adult, you still need your parents and they're not doing enough to make sure you're happy. If they're not willing to listen, then you should ask for some therapy because you shouldn't be feeling this way. Or if you really want to be with your aunt and uncle now, then be with them, but start getting help for yourself as soon as you return home. Your parents shouldn't have you in this environment and to allow it is wrong.

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