A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for six months but i dont think our relationship is going anywhere and there are various issues. He is very clingy, tells me he loves me all the time and texts me 24/7, which being an independent person feels very suffocating. He also has a habit of making me feel bad about myself. I don't know how to break up with him because he thinks he is perfect, as hes very arrogant, and he doesn't think there is anything wrong with the way the relationship is going. He has also told me that he would never break up with me unless i cheated on him, which makes me feel burdened with the task of ending our relationship when there are obvious problems with his behaviour. He has minor obsessive behaviour and can be manipulative, i know as soon as i break up with him he'll beg for another chance and make me feel sorry for him. My friends really dislike him and keep telling me that i should break up with him. I don't want to sound horrible but im just not attracted to him anymore and when we spend time together i find myself getting bored. I know its not fair on both of us if i keep feeling this way and don't end the relationship, i just don't know how to tell him that its over as i know he'll take it badly.
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female
reader, Felicity160 +, writes (20 July 2015):
I was in a very similar equally as toxic relationship and I left it as long as I could dreading their reaction. You've already decided you don't want to be with this person anymore so it's better to act sooner rather than later. I stayed with my partner as long as I could, feeling I was doing it for their sake and found I ended up resenting and grudging him even more. You don't want to put yourself in a position where it's going to be harder to walk away or it could change the way you interact with them entirely and become forced or even passive aggressive as you continue to endure behaviour you already dislike. He may surprise you and take it better than expected and may even already be aware something's changed within the dynamic of your relationship. But just try to remind yourself that life goes on and both of you will get over it eventually. Be brave, take a deep breath and say what you have to say. You can't guess how someone will react, you can only deal with it when they do. You have to stand up for yourself and your beliefs, respect yourself. Because this person clearly doesn't respect you or your boundaries. It's not going to happen for you, so the sooner you deal with it, the sooner you can both move on and heal and grow from the experience.
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