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I want to date him, but he thinks I'm a slut because I sent him dirty messages. What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2010)
A female Denmark, anonymous writes:

Hey Folks

See, there's this guy who I like and want to get to know. Only trouble is that he thinks I'm a slut as when I am drunk I tend to send him dirty messages. and now he has made it pretty clear that he is only interested in sex. BUT, I haven't actually slept with him. Is it too late to explain to him that I am not a slut and that I gave him the wrong impression?

I've actually only slept with one guy ever, and that was after going out with him for a year.

Thanks

(I'm 18, we're both the same age)

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 August 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntIt's never too late to 'clean-up" your PERCIEVED image. Try to send him some sober messages that have been well drafted and re-read several times until you know your image can be restored. His perception sounds like a "knee jerk reaction" and will not hold water.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2005):

First of all, realize where your self-value really was when you decided to text this guy a dirty message in the first place. Women need to understand they don't have to "sexualize" themselves to get the guy interested. Stuff like this never works. Now about this guy. Forget him. Any guy that thinks a women is a slut just because she sent him a drunken, dirty messages is not the type of guy to hang with, hun. He's made it clear he wants to 'use' you for sex and that's it. This type of judgemental attitude tells me he has a low sense of respect for women, in the first place. So you haven't lost anything here, dear. Who wants to date a loser who would easily think this way of women? You made an error, learn from it, don't pine away for him and get on with life. Hold out for much better, dear..you are worth it. Date other nice guys and no more dirty text messaging to guys you barely know. Let them take you for who you truely are..and if they don't-then that's their loss.

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A female reader, askme +, writes (30 December 2005):

I do think that you can show this man that you are not like this, talk to him and explain that you sent these messages while you were drunk and then spend time getting to know him face to face while you are sober. By doing it face to face you do not have the over exserted confidence that comes with text messaging and he will get the right idea about you and get to know the real you. Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2005):

hello,

i do not think that it is too late for you to send him the correct messAGE that you are a respectable girl who is interested in far more than just sex. seeing as you were drunk when you sent the messages, you would think that he would realize that people get horney when they are drinking.

maybe you could try approaching him when you are not drunk so that he can see that you're not a slut. be your normal self and he will see you for who you truely are. i hope this helps you in your situation! best of luck :)

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