A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, I have been single for 7 months now and I have thought it’s about time I put myself back there and I decided to go on Tinder... However, I feel as if I’m going through a weird stage “trying to date again”.. without sounding rude (I’m not a rude person at all) but I often feel like I get bored easily, I have the attention span of a child when it comes to talking to someone and this is a new thing for me as this has never happened to me in previous times, I feel so meh and not so bothered. So I start to question myself, what am I doing? Why am I feeling this way when I do know deep down I want to see someone I want to spend time with somebody as yeah sure I do get lonely sometimes but why can I not shift this “meh , I’m interested but not so interested” feeling.. I take hours to respond to somebody who I know is a nice, good looking person, I don’t get that energy/buzz feeling to message right back like I would’ve a long time agoI just don’t understand why I am being like this, but then All the men I have seemed to get to know a little bit more and having them on social media I feel like it’s all just a waste of time for example, I see them liking other girls things etc which you know I get it it’s the norm and nobody belongs to anybody I am mature enough to understand that but then it’s gets me thinking well, I really cannot be bothered with that I’m feeling like i lack some sort of emotion and definitely motivation I even feel this way with my studies too which isn’t good, so maybe there is something just not right with me, who knows but yeah if anyone has actually ever felt this sort of way before or can give any advice on what the heck I am doing wrong please tell me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2021): If you don't feel any particular motivation to date, then why bother?
It doesn't hurt to just be social and friendly, as far as covid-19 safety-precautions allow; and just make a few new friends. Let people know upfront that's all it is. You don't have to always be in a relationship; and it's healthy to be single and independent for a spell. It allows time for enlightenment, self-improvement, and growth. Set some new goals, and find a hobby that's intellectually-stimulating and creative.
Don't waste the time of people seriously seeking companionship or romantic-relationships. Meanwhile, all you're doing is killing time; or just looking for attention, with nothing of any particular importance to reciprocate. It makes no sense bothering other people who might get attached; while you're just going through the motions, and toying with their affections.
Don't date until you really want to. Otherwise, you're being a waste of somebody's time.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 February 2021):
 Don't do things half-asses. That goes for dating too.
Yes, I know casual dating is a "thing" these days, but it's really not worth it in the long run.
Work on you, be it working out, meditation, learning new skills, old skills to re-hone - find JOY. Do things that makes you happy.
If dating is something you feel a bit MEEH about, put it on the back burner. That way you don't end up doing things you will alter regret.
Doesn't mean you can't socialize, see friends and family (with whatever restrictions your country has).
You don't NEED a partner to have a good life and to enjoy life. When you LATER on feel like - hmm, I wouldn't mind sharing m life with someone, then dating can be on the table again.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (11 February 2021):
 I think these current times are trying for everyone, and dating especially is difficult, because even if you meet someone you can't meet up anyway. I suspect that there are more people trying internet dating, people who would probably not have tried it before lock down, but are trying it for something to do.
Maybe your just feeling a little bit down at the moment, we all feel like that from time to time. I think that while your feeling this way its probably best to refrain from the dating scene.
Try working on yourself a little bit more find some things that you love to do, even if its something so simple as going for a walk. Self love, and loving yourself is the greatest love we can have, and I think when you are totally happy in yourself, in your own skin is the time to start dating again.
I think you think its all a waste of time simply because you have not met the right person yet, and because you are not ready in yourself as well.
Enjoy your me time, love yourself, do things that make your heart sing.
If you do keep feeling like this then maybe it would not hurt just to pop along to your GP and see what they say, or what they could recommend.
...............................
|
