A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:A week ago, my now ex and I had a row which ended up in mild assault against me and serious damage to my car and other possessions.He was arrested and his bail conditions are to not contact me.I don't want him back. But I want to have my say, I want to tell him how I feel about it.What would happen if I was to text him?Please don't lecture, I just want advice.Thanks in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 March 2008):
 His bail condition is that he cannot contact you but it did
not state that you cannot contact him.
Even if he contacted you , it will only be a court case if you report him .
If you do not report him then nobody would know.
If you feel strongly that you have a case to talk to him ,
arrange to meet him in a neutral place and talk or use a
public phone to contact him.
Only you can decide if what you say will defused or inflamed the situation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): he will go to jail if that happends
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A
male
reader, q1605  +, writes (25 March 2008):
 No contact means no contact. Texting will provide certifiable evidence of you seeking him out. Which is not illegal but destroys your credibility. Women always want to have the last word and you will have it with him. You will just have to wait until his trial or he accepts a plea bargain. The Wheels of Justice turn slowly but once set to motion they will not be stopped
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister +, writes (25 March 2008):
 Are you into playing with fire? Sorry, poster, but you seem to be downplaying a lot here: "mildly assaulted me"- it's either assault or not and the implications are the same. "Texting" in despite a court order- are you kidding me? Do you really fully considered what the consequences are of the type of personality you are playing with? I don't think you do. I don't think it's over either and I hope you protect yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): "It is silly women like you who are the reason many men are doing life in prison"
Wow, way to completely absolve men of any responsibility for their own actions. What utter rubbish.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Boonridge, you were very helpful. Yes, I guess it would be a release, and that's what I need. But you're right, it might give him false hope, the last thing I want is for him to turn up at my house etc.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): You know his bail conditions are to not contact you so why would you want to try and tempt him? Sometimes you have to accept that you can't always do what you what when you want - that is part of being an adult. The courts got involved so it is now not all about you. I don't understand - if you want to contact him then wait until you are able to, unless of course you don't really give a fuck about the laws that you envoked to protect you.....
You can't have it both ways...not that i agree with Badvoice, but it does sound like you just want a bit of attention!
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (25 March 2008):
 the court might think that you are not taking it seriously, or if he replies he might get put away, do you want this maybe?
why tell him anything, although you may find it a release i can guarantee this will be like pouring petrol on a fire. do you want him round your house lobbing bricks and threatening you? one of my friends had a nutty ex and he wouldn't leave her alone, so if he avoids you count your lucky stars you havent got a stalker on your hands...
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A
male
reader, BadVoice +, writes (24 March 2008):
But yet you want to provoke him? It is silly women like you who are the reason many men are doing life in prison. It clearly states that he is not to contact you while out on bail, but yet....you cannot believe he has not contacted you, so you want to contact him and 'have your say'....hmmm,
what is your name.....I just want to know which name to read in the obituary pages.....
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (24 March 2008):
 I wouldn't. The guy has already proven he can loose control, what if what you send makes him angry again?
Sometimes the smartest thing is just to walk away.
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