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I want to be with him so bad!!

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Question - (6 February 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2007)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm 17 and my boyfriend just turned 21. He's a coast guard but the thing is he just got based in Alaska. We want to get married but the thing is my mother does not want that. My birth month is in oct and hes going this March. I finish school this June but i have to wait till oct. I dont want to, we plan on getting married this dec but i need help. How do i move before oct? I really can wait to get married but i want to be with him so bad plz anyone help if not thanks

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007):

Please, use some common sense! You have had a nice time with this young man, but marrying when you are 18 and moving to a different state? FORGET IT!!

You wouldn't know anyone there in Alaska except him, and would be far away from your family, friends and home. No wonder your mother does not want you to do this.

As Altindie says, you have your whole life ahead of you. MATURE love sees things realistically and knows it can wait. On the other hand, "I wanna be with him so bad" is a sign of infatuation. Infatuation is sort of like a fever: you dream of him all the time, can't wait to be together, and you tend to think he can do no wrong (even though in your head you know he isn't perfect). Its starry-eyed and eventually fades (unless it develops into something real). When it does fade you will look back and ask yourself what in the heck was I thinking???!

Sorry to be harsh, but you seriously need to take a level-headed approach to this, if you can, and consider how you would cope with running a household, holding down a job, discovering the realities of living with a man day-in and day-out, especially in a totally different environment.

He MIGHT be the love of your life and you MIGHT marry and have many years of happiness together. BUT you cannot know this at this point in time!

You need more living to do, growing and experiencing life. Besides, what about college and university? Do you have plans to continue your education so you can get a good job?

One more thing: Don't know how many boys you have dated, but it is a good idea to date a number of them (I don't mean to have sex) but to date casually, go out with them a few times, and see how you get on. This is a good way to discover who you are (and are not) compatible with, and to find out how relationships "work." IF after you date a few others, you still want your coastguard you will be in a much better position to make a decision.

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A female reader, Altindie Australia +, writes (6 February 2007):

Altindie agony auntPlain and simple - you should NOT be getting married that young. You still have your whole life to live and if you're really meant to be together - then you will eventually be together - but don't rush things! How on earth is marrying him going to solve anything?

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