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I want to be happy being single. Any advice?

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Question - (27 August 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 September 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

DC, how does one lead a single life? I am 30 years old and I can say I have failed to get a partner. Now, I know, I will remain single. Please give me tips of how to live a single fulfilling life. Please, don't tell me where to find the guys coz I actually meet/met them but they just don't like me. Thanks.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2011):

I think it's important to be happy...whether you are single or not. And, being single isn't so bad. You know that you won't be single forever, so this is the time to do all the things that you love and have fun. On a daily basis though, being single isn't all bad. You don't have to answer to anyone, and you get to make all the decisions on what you watch, eat and listen. Your DVR is full of things that YOU love! :)

I wrote a book about being single that makes a great gift for you or your single friends. It's called "365 Reasons Why I'm Still Single" and is a lighthearted and fun take on being single...with a reason for every day of the year. Check it out on Amazon or be a fan on Facebook (or both!) http://amazon.to/efDMiC and http://on.fb.me/pzutLv

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011):

I love my own company. Really I do. I have my own house which keeps me busy, I love decorating my house in summer. I spend time with my mum, dad and sisters. I make time to go out with my friends. I enjoy pampering myself. I enjoy going for long walks on my own. I can stay in bed all day on a Sunday if I want to. Being single is great and I for one think that you are making a great decision.

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2011):

angelDlite agony auntdon't feel like you have been left on the shelf just coz you are 30! its only when you get older like me (39) that you realise that 30 is YOUNG!

you can enjoy life being single, more so than if you are in a relationship with the wrong person who stops you having your freedom and peace of mind.

the key to being happy sans relationship is to have friends and family that you can spend time with but also be able to be happy while alone, hobbies, the ability to chill out and be happy while doing nothing in particular.

and stop thinking your over the hill at 30! that is a negative way to look at life and will stop you from being happy

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011):

I think it depends on your personality. If you are like, I'd say 99% of people out there, who need a partner, you'll never be happy being single. But some people, including me, are quite happy being single and don't feel the need to find anybody. All I need to be happy is health, money and friends. As long as I have friends I'm not lonely. I've never been in a relationship, never even kissed anybody, and I'm 26. If I meet the right guy and fall in love, that's great. But if I don't, I'll never date anybody just so I would have a boyfriend. I see all people around me are obsessed with dating and relationships and their whole life revolves around that. To be honest, I find that pathetic.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (27 August 2011):

chigirl agony auntHave a nice home, decorate it in a lovely way, think about having a pet. Maybe a dog with the opportunity to enter shows. A dog will offer companionship, and you will not feel alone, which is the main reason people seek a partner, they are lonely. With a dog you take away some of the needs you have, because you get companionship, someone you need to relate to, someone you take care of, and you get a hobby as well since you need to go outdoors and you will also stay healthy.

There are other animals that could suit you better of course, if you do not want a dog.

Are you without children? Then your economy is better than with the ones with children. You get to spend your money exactly as you please. Use it for traveling, or luxury things like spa-treatment, fine clothes, or for experiences, such as going on safari, seeing the wonders of the world, sky diving, snorkeling in the Bahamas, you name it.

Bring friends along and share things with them, invite friends over for home cooked meals and experiment in the kitchen if that is what you enjoy, or take a course in wine tasting in Italy and bring some friends along.

Plan something nice and exiting for yourself to do. That will give you something to look forward to, talk about, and plan towards.

I'm currently single, and this is what I do to lead a happy single life without searching for a "man to complete me": I make plans on what to do with my life, what will make ME happy. Plans that I can fulfill myself through hard work. These plans include for example: finishing my studies and work to earn money, buy the house/apartment I want and be able to have a dog (I love animals, but am not allowed to keep them when I only rent). While working I plan to travel, visit friends abroad, and apply for jobs I want to have (already have my eye set on a few). All these things can be done without a man, and all these things will make ME happy.

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A male reader, Thelaird1 United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2011):

Thelaird1 agony auntEnjoy being you. Do the things you love to do and spend time with the people you want.

If you are not happy within yourself, you will never be happy in a relationship. I find that it's only when you are happy being single, then it means you are ready for a lasting relationship

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