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I want this new relationship to go well. How do I make it work? Because I push people away to keep them at an emotional distance from me

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2014)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

in my group of friends i always tend to be the one who comes up with the funny and clever comebacks insults and jokes mostly because i try to keep people at an emotional distance from me while still being "part of the group" (im actually very nice and generous to people who i trust)

Recently i've developed feelings for a girl that has recently been introduced and best part is, she likes me too! but im worried that if she fell for the edgy borderline rude person i almost pretend to be she wont like how i am to girls in a relationship.

i'm usually sweet caring and kind but thats the opposite of what she sees me as now. any advice or input? i dont want to screw this up

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 February 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntjust relax and be yourself... time will tell if she understands that a public persona is very different from a private one...

for example, my husband comes across as the most cock-sure, arrogant, self-assured person to most folks. I'm only one of a few folks that know it's a facade... I love both sides of him... perhaps your young lady will till.

I vote for you being yourself and seeing how it goes... if nothing else, once she notices the difference it can bring about some long into the night conversations...

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (27 February 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Well… you have already started your life of wrong by lying! Why oh why if you are a sweet, loving, caring, and generous person, you would want the world to see you as a Jackass???

Do you honestly believe that girls like the bad boy type? They like the boldness and confidence in a bad boy “Jack”, but NOT the “ass” that comes with it. So look at what you have done to yourself by lying about who you are…

“but im worried that if she fell for the edgy borderline rude person i almost pretend to be she wont like how i am to girls in a relationship.”

Sit her down and come clean, and let things go from there. If she really wants the sweet you, then awesome. If she walks away, then I hope you learn.

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