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I want do I make this guy look stupid?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 September 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 7 October 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:


im gonna put it simply, i want revenge on an ex boyfriend

Now i know people will say that just getting over him will be enough and that i should move on and make him realise what he's missing. And no offense but ive tried that

Im far to pissed off and hurt to let him get away with what he did

First he completly used me by leading me on and saying he liked me. He would kiss me and touch me and then afterwards he was adament he 'wasnt ready' and that i was just a friend. Not to mention that his first words to me would be that I looked like shit and every other girl looked hot.

On his birthday he completly ignored me while texting other girls - i was the only friend to show up btw!One evening when i admitted my feelings he said he really liked me but would never be as close to me as he is to a girl called kirsty.

Obviously upset by this he then continues texting other girls . i started to get upset to the point of crying ( and i never cry!) he then says im being inconsiderate and overreacting over it . Then he goes to his 'friends' house at 5in the morning cause apparently he was upset over it.Bragging about it the next day

He ignored me on my birthday

Ignored me in public and has made me look like the bad guy in this

I have never felt as insecure as he made me feel

i want revenge!!

i know i was a fool for letting it get that far. i know that now - he was the first attractive guy who seemed interested in me. Low self esteem was getting to me .

Now im just very mad.

please give me advice on how i can make this guy look stupid - i dont wanna harm him. i just want him to feel how he mad me feel.

thanks :)


View related questions: insecure, move on, revenge, self esteem, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009):


Just want to say thanks to everyone for advising me. Yes ive been avoiding him like the plague and ive barely even thought about him since last week tbh. well execpt from maybe wishing he has a sudden case of baldness lol

To confuzzled012 Good on you for not taking offense. Just wish i told that guy what i thought of him.

Anyway, thanks everyone again for answering. its been a help


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A male reader, Confuzzled012 United States +, writes (29 September 2009):

Confuzzled012 agony auntLol. I take no offense to that whatsoever. But thank you for your thoughts.

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A female reader, PaigeAlexxandra United States +, writes (28 September 2009):

PaigeAlexxandra agony auntDear Ready for Revenge;

YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM LOOK STUPID; by doing all those lousy things to you, he will have to pay the piper and fear not, HE'LL MAKE HIMSELF LOOK STUPID, that's not your job.

Your job is to avoid MAKING YOURSELF LOOK STUPID, which is what will happen if you do ANYTHING except just completely ignore his sorry arse and carry on with your life.

Trust me; the scales balance by themselves; don't throw things off by doing ANYTHING in retaliation or he'll never get the full impact of his actions toward you.

Make him FEEL STUPID by ignoring him like the plague!

Be Smart!



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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

Hi im actually the person who wrote this

just wanna say a little something to confuzzled012

I asked for advice and youhad no right to reply in that way

First of all i am hurt so that why i want revenge and second of all if you werent gonna give real advice and just wanted to say something nasty then you obviously shouldnt be on the agony aunt site then should you

The only person that needs to grow up here is you

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A male reader, softtouchmale2003 United States +, writes (26 September 2009):

softtouchmale2003 agony auntThere's no reason to waste anymore time on this guy.

He's not worth the time of day. If anything, any time and effort you put into trying to "teach him a lesson" is a waste of your life. He's too shallow and inconsiderate so it won't matter to him and he won't care.

He doesn't care now, he won't care later and he will still ignore you because he's obviously not interested at all.

So the best thing for you to do is find someone that will be into you, and reject this moron for what he's worth. A waste of your time.

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A female reader, obsticalfree United States +, writes (26 September 2009):

I think living well is the best revenge if you can go on and enjoy your life and he sees it he will miss the frienship and romance he screwed up. Don't let him ignore you walk right up to him and say.... hey sorry if you thought I got too attached - I just wanted to let you know I'm absolutely fine with things ( if you want to get a little dig in , you can say I understand you have been waiting awhile for someone and wish you the best :) but I have moved on and I'm happy .... look great , have fun or at least act like you are and eventually you will be . He will be the miserable user jerk he is. Being the only person to show up to his party tells you how important you were in his life :) believe me he will be jealous and lonely and deserves it. He may not be... he may think that he had no interest in you and you were chasing him...either way he will miss you whether he tells you or not. I think you are way better moving on he sounds like a lonely idiot that gets off on making others miserable cuz he is. He isn't worth fighting or even planning a big revenge but.... you will get it if you DO MOVE ON!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009):

It sounds to me that he is already looking pretty stupid without you doing anything at all.

"On his birthday he completly ignored me while texting other girls - i was the only friend to show up btw!"

It doesn't sound to me like he actually has any friends. If he is as bad as you describe then it is no wonder that he has no friends. At the most, he has those who put up with him. By making him look stupid you will probably actually make him happier. It would mean that someone takes notice of him.

Let it go. You dated a loser and he took advantage of you. It happens all the time. Learn from this so that you do better next time. Trying to get revenge will just make you look as bad as him. That won't help you at all.

There is a saying that goes something like this:

"Don't argue with idiots. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

There is a lot of truth in that.

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A female reader, L* Italy +, writes (26 September 2009):

ignore him, involve yourself in other things and keep yourself busy, look good and go out to meet people. eventually, he'll see that you can do just as well without him and he'll get really jealous!! living well is the best revenge.

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A male reader, Confuzzled012 United States +, writes (26 September 2009):

Confuzzled012 agony auntThis is completely childish and heartless. You're trying to put out a fire by flapping oxygen at it with a waving towel. he took advantage of you because you let him and now you're stooping to a level so low that you might want to check the nearest elementary school for some good brainstorming buddies.

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