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I want my wife's sister...

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2006) 45 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2011)
A male , *olo writes:

for weeks now my wife sister my sister inlaw has been giving me mixed signals ,you know a little touch hear and a long stair there, my sister inlaw other half went away on a business trip and me and my wife stayed over for the night so my wife could have a drink and not worry about having to drive. we all went to bed about 2am and all i could think of was climming in to bed with my sister inlaw . i got up and gave a tap on her bedroom door she woke up and i sat on her bed and told her that im lusting after her and i dont know what to do because i still love my wife your sister she said consintrate on your wife and forget me i said ok and went to bed ,all i could think about was climming in to bed with her and i keep looking at her when she was sleeping , then she woke up and saw me watching her i said somthing to he and left her room (all i was waering was a thong )in the morning i apoligilsed and she said dont worry just forget it and i went home. all i do is thing about her even when im with my wife and i fear this will change every thing.

what do i do , ilove my wife but want to shag her sister she thiner than my wife 2 years older prittyer and likes what i like. please help

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A male reader, free advice India +, writes (25 February 2011):

The fact is that most of the males get sexually attracted to females whom they meet frequently. They fantasize them since they have a lot to imagine about them. It is to be noted that one does not have fantasies on some females who they just happen to see on the street or just appears on a public place. So how one becomes so attracted to sister-in-laws? SILs are the most closest and freely talkative females around just after your wife. SILs would also talk very freely as they take it for granted that they could because you are their sister's husband and there is nothing wrong in being close to you since you are a family member. Most of us misinterprets that she is urging to have sex because she is a third person for you. Even these intentions can happen with maids or baby sitters or a close co-worker at your office to whom you would interact relatively more and thus you start to have fantasies on them when you are alone or away. Does they have the same feeling to you? Most probably no, but some might do; however, they would not express that feeling due to social and/or family restrictions or due to some personal reasons whatsoever. They might open up only when they determine that the time and situation are absolutely apt and safe for them. Unfortunately such a situation in a common environment seldom occurs (unless a natural disaster strikes and you both are left alone in the whole world or you both are lost in an island waiting for rescue, ha ha). Therefore, it is pretty sure that your approach will be turned down by them unless you are such a handsome, attractive and irresistible person like Arnold or Nicholas Cage, lol. So the subject is not your SIL but it is the female who you are close to and who you can interact visually and verbally very often. Whomever it may be, if you feel that it does not matter if the present harmony does not exist after your approach, then tell your feelings privately and ask her if she does the same too to you. (The answer would be 99% "NO" and your intimacy might end with this). If not dare enough, then live with your fantasies and enjoy the moments you have with her, and like someone mentioned in this post, "jerk off and satisfy".

Quoting another post in this discussion:

"A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007):

Guys I gotta a question for you and answer me honestly. Do you guys feel worse when you fancy your sister in law or if you fancy your best friend's wife?"

In your case, I feel that either your husband's friend is a dumb idiot or you are not attractive enough for him to commit. I would say, it is your bad luck that you fancied a nut like him. It would have worked out better if you coveted your brother-in-law -- as you may see many promising personalities in this post who just ogles their SILs ha ha.

Best of luck to all SIL lovers.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010):

There is many men who are married and have a SIL who always seem to be hot and desirable. After all you cannot see your SIL the same way, as you see your own sister. Reason being, when you were looking for a girl for marriage, if the girl who became your wife was not there,(lets say she was committed to someone else) , then you might have ended up marrying the girl who is now your SIL.

But the fact is you got what was best for you. Your SIL is good for some one else. If you are matured enough, rather than dreaming about your SIL and getting frustrated or even depressed, go ahead and let your sister she looks hot. Get close and become her best friend. Praise her beauty but always admit and tell your SIL that she is beautiful but "your wife" is always "better". Your SIL will understand that you really like her but you love your wife more than anything, indicating you are in control and know your limits. She might get very close, which will give you some satisfaction but the relationship between you too will not cross the limits that might affect you marriage.

You may dream about doing anything you want with you SIL but wise to draw the lines when it come to actions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009):

First I'd like say that it is perfectly normal for a male to fancy "strange kochie" in regards to his sissy-n-law(s) or girlfriend's sister(s) or even their mother-n-laws. At one time or another every husband will at least lust after the forbidden fruit.Men are simply stimulated through detection and observations of the "whole woman" physique (hair, breast, face, smell, walk...). Call me weird but I really feel that if I ever was going to cheat on my wife it would have to be with one of her sisters. Why, because I know they wouldn't jeopardize or hurt their sibling relationship by telling or confessing up. Also because they're the next best to my lovely wife whom I love dearly. Both my sister-n-laws are professionals, hot and gorgeous, and they both know I'll stick it in if they where sure and ready. But to tell you the truth, we are all such outstanding in character that I don't think we will ever intentionally cross the line. I mean we would all have to probably just get stoned-drunk-stagger-drunk to even run fingers places.

So people please stop implying that we need some excitement within the marriage. Because a lot of us already have excitement in our marriages, what we now seek is an uniqueness or peculiar experience. A lot of the anxiousness has to do with the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome.

Always looking for a thrill in a marriage is nothing but a chasing after the wind. I got tiered of chasing after thrills and decided to throw in the towel of fast living, and settled down for a quite easy married life. Now I have all the sex I want and when I want (even when I don't want it), its just every once and a while those sweet-smelly sissy-n-laws come around. One thing I do know though, I'll never-ever hurt my wife by telling her what she doesn't already know. Somehow people think by telling a loved one about something bad that happened in secret is showing love to that loved one. If you truly loved somebody you would spare them any unnecessary pain or hurt, and that's by not committing the offense in the first place; but then again having already committed the offense and the love doesn't know about it, do not go on and hurt the loved one by telling them what they don't already know. If you screwed up face the guilt yourself, and reckon that as your lesson and or punishment. Just don't go dragging and hurting innocent folk with stuff they didn't even know existed until you came crying.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009):

First I'd like say that it is perfectly normal for a male to fancy "strange kochie" in regards to his sissy-n-law(s) or girlfriend's sister(s) or even their mother-n-laws. At one time or another every husband will at least lust after the forbidden fruit.Men are simply stimulated through detection and observations of the "whole woman" physique (hair, breast, face, smell, walk...). Call me weird but I really feel that if I ever was going to cheat on my wife it would have to be with one of her sisters. Why, because I know they wouldn't jeopardize or hurt their sibling relationship by telling or confessing up. Also because they're the next best to my lovely wife whom I love dearly. Both my sister-n-laws are professionals, hot and gorgeous, and they both know I'll stick it in if they where sure and ready. But to tell you the truth, we are all such outstanding in character that I don't think we will ever intentionally cross the line. I mean we would all have to probably just get stoned-drunk-stagger-drunk to even run fingers places.

So people please stop implying that we need some excitement within the marriage. Because a lot of us already have excitement in our marriages, what we now seek is an uniqueness or peculiar experience. A lot of the anxiousness has to do the "grass in greener on the other side" syndrome.

Always looking for a thrill in a marriage is nothing but a chasing after the wind. I got tiered of chasing after thrills and decided to throw in the towel of fast living, and settled down for a quite easy married life. Now I have all the sex I want and when I want (even when I don't want it), its just every once and a while those sweet-smelly sissy-n-laws come around. One thing I do know though, I'll never-ever hurt my wife by telling her what she doesn't already know. Somehow people think by telling a loved one about something bad that happened in secret is showing love to that loved one. If you truly loved somebody you would spare them any unnecessary pain or hurt, and that's by not committing the offense in the first place; but then again having already committed the offense and the love doesn't know about it, do not go on and hurt the loved one by telling them what they don't already know. If you screwed up face the guilt yourself, and reckon that as your lesson and or punishment. Just don't go dragging and hurting innocent folk with stuff they didn't even know existed until you can crying.

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A male reader, Main Man United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2009):

Main Man agony auntI am sorry that you & you girlfriend/wife have ended your relationship. Maybe it for the best if you were still having feelings for sister. You obviously care for them both by not wanting to hurt them. I hope you find someone soon hopefully who hasn't got a sister just incase history repeats it's self.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009):

Hi you all guys.

I wrote some months ago about this problem. I know think is only one solution: no contact with her. Sad, but true.

In my case, I've broken my relationship with both my girlfriend and her sister. I felt really bad about having that desire, because it was sexual at first, but it turned out to be more than that time after time. And I didn't want to hurt my ex-girlfriend relationship with her sister.

Be careful guys, if you can't control that desire it might mean you don't love your wife as much as you think. It might only happen that her sister is one of the females you contact most frecuently, you have more confidence with, and you see in intimate ways.

So, if you really love your wife and want to keep her, you need to build certain intimacy walls or soon you'll be captured by a very special girl: her sister.

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A male reader, Main Man United Kingdom +, writes (3 May 2009):

Main Man agony auntYou need to get this thing with your sister in law out of your system. The way to do that is by getting her to agree to go a hotel with 1 night and have a night of sex with her. Remember to use a condom if she of child bearing age. You shouldn't tell your wife about your plans if you love your wife. Make your friends don't know about your plans with your sister in law because it might get back to your wife and she will probaly divorce you. Ask yourself if this happens do you want to be with sister in law all the time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009):

These women aren't sending mixed messages. They might be over-friendly and flirtatious, but that doesn't mean they want you. There's an old saying that sometimes a woman doesn't want a guy to kiss her, she just wants him to want to kiss her.

Part of the reason they might be flirting with you is because you are considered safe. It's my opinion that women simply enjoy being playful without the expectation of sex or intimacy. (Definitely a pain in the ass, I'm sure.)

There also might be a hint of good old fashion sibling rivalry. In any case, it might be a load off your mind to confess your attraction to someone simply to break the tension of fantasy, but you should stop and consider the consequences.

Is the grass really greener on the other side? Do you really want this woman or do you want her because you can't have her? It's one thing to have an affair, but having an affair with your spouse's family member is something that will likely impact them more severely. You can escape a cheating spouse, you cannot escape a cheating sister or brother.

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A male reader, mikey71 United States +, writes (8 January 2009):

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I love my wife, but I've wanted to have sex with my SIL for the last 10 years. My SIL sends so many mixed signals, smiles, giggling when we hug, close body contact, and the prolonged elbow on her breast. It's just murder...

During the holidays, she even commented on the big cigar I had...I told her thats not all thats big...she smiled and giggled...So I finally told her how I was attracted to her in an email, and she sent back that she loved her husband, and she didn't like how i'm making her feel and If I don't stop sending mails she'll tell my wife. Great..what gives...Prior to that we sent mails back and forth...no prob...but this was the first time I let her know how I felt.

Here's the catch...I just found out through my wife that my SIL confided in her and told her she was having an affair for 5 years. So I have dirt on her...that's more severe...

Any suggestions???

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009):

Aye heres a rub. My young non-blood cousin has a huge crush on me that it's obvious. It's a little bothersome, but I rather enjoy it and my wife always comments on it. On the other hand, I am victim of the huge crush after sis-in-law syndrome. If only she was a "brother" and not a slightly older sister then I wonder who my crush would be for?

My problem is I see the sis-in-law every weekend. Either I'm sleeping at her pad, or she's sleeping at my pad. This would do torture to some of the guys here. So far, my best weapon has been porn and rubbing one out. After a shot load in an imaginary sis-in-law, it's male nature to feel a brief moment of completeness. It's only a temporary solution of course and in no time you'll be having those fantasy thoughts about the sis-in-law in no time.

One solution that worked briefly for me is to get into a "fight" or verbal conflict with the sis-in-law. If you are annoyed and frustrated with somebody, then it's more difficult to have a crush on them. Sometimes I do this without even trying.

Another temporary solution is to satisfy your needs in a dream. A tip is to figure out what fragrance/lotion the sis-in-law wears, buy it, hide it, but put some on you so that you can smell it when you sleep. I know it sounds crazy, but hey, you're the one lusting over the forbidden so maybe it's worth a shot.

A life altering dream of sex with the sis-in-law followed by a brief feeling of extreme guilt only to realize it was just a dream. Magnificent...

Good luck to you all! Hopefully you will NEVER SURRENDER because if you do succumb to the seductive succubus sister in law, make sure your wife isn't the type that will chop your manhood off.

Also, be warned... Even when all your dreams come true, your mind will invent a new lust... This is male nature. Plus, be glad you're lusting over somebody decent looking and not her mom, dog, or your own sister. ack

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008):

Well guys. I can completely relate to this situation. I'm a newly wed guy and love my marriage. We get along great and it only seems to be getting better every day. So why in the world am I so attracted to her sister? I too think that it is because of the nature of wanting something I can't have. I've tried to shake these thoughts but it's just so hard. To make it even worse, the sister and I are always flirting and joking with eachother. At times it seems like I'm receiving certain signals from her, but I just don't really even want to find out if those are really true or if it's all in my head. I find myself thinking of the sister more than I should. But it's so easy because she's so hot.

I need help, but it's good to know I'm not the only one.

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A male reader, anonymous79 United States +, writes (19 September 2008):

Guys, thanks for making me feel better. I thought I was the only weirdo in the world having an uncontrollable desire for his sister in law. I desire her not because she is the prettiest in the world, not even because of what she is but because of the awareness that she is unreachable and forbidden for me. Perhaps it's just the human nature to desire unattainable things. Time and again I tried hard to think of her as my sister only to see her and my wife in my dreams giving me sweet bl*w jobs the following night. Fantasizing these sort of things is wrong but I simply do not know how to suppress how I feel. I really wonder why only men have a problem lusting for forbidden women, although we never have any desire for women related by blood.

I'm pretty certain that I'd never make a move in real life but would keep fantasizing every now and then and would be wondering often why I have this kind of itch in my mind.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008):

I you all guys.

Wow, know I see I'm not alone. I'm in the same situation. I love my wife but desire her sister. I cannot stop staring at her big boobs. It's just that, desire, lust, but I think it's not real love, although we get on really well and talk a lot.

As someone has said before, I'd do/pay anything for staying with her for just one night. Pure lust and perversion, as you see. But at least, I know it.

It's just the desire of having what we don't have now, with a bit of excitement of being a close person very similar to our wife. If you had married your wife's sister, now you'd desire your wife. Life's that wierd.

All of us have sexual fantasies and desires. It's normal after some years with the same spouse. Really normal and human. And a fantasy with her sister seems really hot, doesn't it?.

That fantasy will disappear as fast as you achieved it and, even though you really love each other, just run away and look for another woman if you don't like your current relationship.

If you do something with your wife's sister, you'll probably ruin and destroy their relationship forever. I'm sure you don't want to do that.

So yes, just assume acknowledge you are human like all of us, you like sex and you have fantasies (in fact you'd screw half of the women you see every day, would't you?), really hot when you think of the big boobs of your wife's sister.

We are men and it's a pity our animal and polygamic instincts don't match our western society. Don't see me as a perverted man, you women there, your husband thinks just the same. The difference is that I admit it openly.

The solution?. Also pointed out earlier. When you are hot, just look at a pic of her, smell some of her clothes or do whatever really turns you on depending on your particular perversion, jerk off and forget about it.

It really works. You'll cool down without hurting anyone and you'll forget about everything instantly. A cheap way of dealing with our instincts without causing harm.

If this is not enough for you, then you're in trouble. But please think it very well. Destroying a family (or two) for having a screw is not worth it.

Regards and good luck to everyone in this weird situation.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008):

I cannot believe what I have been reading. I don't think you people realise what the result of such a liaison will be. Let me tell you my story.

My ex left me for my sister when I was very ill. They conducted a secret affair for some years, (obviously too ashamed to admit to it), then came out into the open and eventually married.

Being betrayed by your spouse is one thing (you can easily get over that), but betrayal by a sibling is the worst kind.

My late mother never did come to terms with it, she was ill for many years. The extended family cut them off completely, as did my children. The children made a joke of it, nicknaming them Auntie Mum and Uncle Dad. Their aunt becomes their step-mother, their father becomes their uncle (remember, he married a blood aunt). Their cousins are now their step-brothers/sisters.

Things are slightly different for me and my new husband: My ex is now our brother-in-law. My sister is my new husband's sister-in-law.

What they have done is disgusting and borders on incest. If neither of them were happy in their previous marriages, why not go out into the big, wide world and find a new partner. There are plenty of people to choose from!

Needless to say, I will never speak to my EX sister again.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

I am also in love with my girlfriend's sister. I think and dream about her all the time, and everytime I hear her name or see her my heart melts and my defenses drop. Thing is, I love my girlfriend more, but not a day goes by where I don't think about her sister. She is married with 2 kids, and I have never even given her any inkling that I feel this way about her. I just fear that these feelings will build up over time and too much build up is never good. I just want her to know how I feel about her, even if we never "do" anything, I'd like to tell her how I feel and hopefully share some sort of mutual connection. But like I said, my love for my girlfriend far outweighs any feelings I have for her sister, and this is what I hold onto because nothing is worth losing her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

Seriously what you need to do is just play it slow if she hasn; said anything about it to anyone like her man or you wife then keep pushing until she says thats enough the cool thing is..... i am Darayl and i swear to fucking death Francise if you try to touch my wife again i wil wring your bloody neck you fucking wanker.And by the way Shanon told me about everything and she said you didn;t even have the thong on you sick bastard, so find this read and be scared bc i give you gert ass one week and then i am going to fog you from one end of walse to the other.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008):

IMO it's a clear case of the womans married so there will be no strings attached sex and most men feel thats the ideal type of relationship

It's called avoiding commitment.

Only thing is the person you are lusting for is morally off limits and maybe that makes it more exciting to you.

I promise you, you will feel superbly terrible afterwards if you do it & you will forever be trying to think of lies to tell your wifey because body language is a give away, and she will forever be asking you or her sister what is going on with you and my hubby

It's not worth it!!!

Don't you guys watch Lifetime movies? There are plenty of movies just like this where the guy actually did it and disastrous things happened afterwards.

Don't throw your whole life away for a few minutes of feel good.

What you are feeling is lust and love is always better than lust.

Lust is so shallow and fleeting.

I know you guys are not shallow ! Are you?

Can you believe they are making ppl type the word human in the box above to "prove" we are humans writing these answers?

Yup I'm ALL human lol

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

All of us who have feelings for our sister-in-laws are true feelings. I don't like to admit it but I wish I had met my sister-in-law first. There is nothing wrong with feelings they are real. I would tell her if you can trust her. I did. Ask her like this? Would you have dated me if you did not meet your husband and I did not meet my wife? Be a real man.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008):

just shag the sister inlaw

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A male reader, sonu1972 India +, writes (1 March 2008):

Well she said its ok with her , and you sud go n sleep . she did not come back. reply is clear.

She know yr desire if she comes back , make it for mutual fun nothing sort of long term commitment ; jus mutual need and pleasure.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008):

I had this problem for over 30 years and finally got to have sex with my sister-in-law on Christmas Day. It was great as I had not had sex for over 5 years and she was most accommodating haaving lost her husband two years ago.

now we don't know what to do as we don't want to hurt my wife and the family.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008):

Well Well Well,

and I thought that I'm da only one with this problem. I'm married with a kid and there's a lot of love between me n my wife. Maybe less than what we had in the begining but enogh to make me not want to do anything to jeopardise my marraige.

I met one of my wife's elder cousin sisters during our wedding. Over the months I've come to know her more. She's elder to us by atleast 10 years and has kids of her own. I m really attracted to her and I feel sure that she is a bit attracted to me as well. I know I dont love her. But I really n truly lust for her. I would do anything almost anything to have it atleast once with her. Evertime I think of her, I get hot. But what to do. I'm not sure about how she will feel about it and off course I dont want to put my marraige in trouble. Such is life huh!!!

Raj

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A male reader, concerned citizen United States +, writes (22 December 2007):

For all you guys lusting for your sister in law. I have the solution...JERK OFF! Yes, it's really that simple. You may feel weird afterwards, but at least it's contained and you won't feel like jumping out of your skin dealing with such an impossible situation, not to mention your family won't be torn apart. Feelings are never wrong, it's the actions taken based on those feelings that can get us into trouble. When confronted with these powerful feelings of lust and infatuation you MUST clear the pipes, so to speak, and it will clear your heads too.

So g'head brother and rub one out!

Concerned Citizen

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007):

Of course,you are with lust.But,is your case only the lust?Does your wife give you love?So,if your response is positive ,don't try adultry.If otherwise you've bad temper about yuor wife's character show her your back and go on with the -in-law.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2007):

You guys are all so sad to not realize that the feelings you are having for your in laws or your best friend or your spouses best friend are just that- FEELINGS. They aren't real and they wouldn't last if you were IN a relationship with that person. No person is perfect and you all have these women so idealized they couldn't possibly live up to your expectations.

To the woman who never loved her husband- do yourself, him and the woman he was MEANT to be married to a favor and divorce him. There are few enough great men in the world without b**ches like you taking them up.

To the woman whose husband covets her sister- if you love him and want him you need to move away. Your proximity is too close to your sister. Of course your husband has a crush on her- it makes men feel great for a young woman to be infatuated with them. Of course they love to talk about travel and things that you can't do. In a divorce, the man makes out like a bandit, gets to run around like he's single, while you maintain status as family woman. Your sis had no business telling him when he was yours- there are words for women like that- I'll stick with poachers. You need to put distance between him and your sister or you need to let him go. You owe it to your kids to show them a strong mom who doesn't let people walk on her and act like it's ok. If it was me, the scumbag husband and the slutty sis would be out of my life. And that would be that. Don't feel stuck with a guy because you're a 24 year old mother of 3- feel like you are in a position to be the ultimate role models for your children. Believe me there are many many men attracted to strong, independent women. Men who won't even CONSIDER ogling your sister!

To the OP- what are you- 15? I've never seen such terrible spelling and grammar past high school. Grow up and stop posting fantasies on the internet. If this all really happened, you need to get a freaking clue. How many ways can the sister in law spell out to you that she isn't interested??? Forget about her- concentrate on your marriage... You think she said that stuff to get you MORE interested? You don't stand a chance if she has a SHRED of decency, and it sounds like she does. You're very lucky she didn't tell your wife, but I wouldn't count on being that lucky again.

Why are men always so fascinated with what they don't have? Daydreams and fantasies are great and fun- as long as you realize that is all they are. Just mist mirages that would burn off in the sun of reality. Get over it. you have all chosen your lives. If you don't want your wives you owe them the decency to divorce them. Not treating them like crap that you don't need to consider the feelings of while you drool over anyone else. Your women deserve REAL men, and you have all proved that is something you cannot claim to be. If you are spending time with other women then you are not devoting all your energy to your marriage, and since MOST of you have kids, why don't you realize your wives are probably too drained to even TRY to compete with your imagination and fantasy worlds you all have planned in your heads?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007):

Hi all:

I'm glad to see that, as a guy, I'm not alone as a married man who has romantic/sexual fantasies about his sister-in-law.

I love my wife very much, but the last several years I've had intense sexual urges to do it with her sister. She is 47 years old (my wife and I are both 44), but very attractive and definitely can pass for 10-15 years younger. We do get along well, but she's never made any indication that she's had the same feelings towards me that I have towards her. However, I do get excited and constantly get my hopes up when she comes at me with the "mouth first" approach of a good-bye kiss at the end of a family function.

Sometimes I playfully think about leaving my cell phone over her house one day after a family get-together, so that I can come back to get it when her husband and the kids are out of the house and hope for the best (she is currently, and for the last several years, been having marital problems with the husband), but don't think that I would ever really consider doing this, as my moral conscience would definitely start tugging at me.

To be quite honest though, if she ever did make a pass at me, or in any way expressed her desire for me, I really don't know if I would be able to pull away.........

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007):

Well I’m no relationship counselor, but I have heard of this issue so many times that I feel qualified enough to give you my suggestions:

What you feel for your wife sister is mere infatuation.It`s not love.

What ever you do not have sex with your wife’s sister, there I so many problems that could result from this:

1. Once you do it, you may not be able to end it, as the sister is likely to hold you at ransom, i.e “if you break it up I will tell”. In a worse scenario she could even use the opportunity to blatantly blackmail you!

2. If your wife picks wind if this, your marriage is sure to end or if not it will be seriousoulsy strained.

3. Your wife’s relationship with her sister will be jeopardized.

If you really want sex from someone else go out there try find someone.It`s bad enough cheating with a stranger…but to do it with your wife sister is blatantly callous.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007):

My marriage hasn't been for long, just 6 years, but for the duration of it I have found myself strangely attracted to my sister in law. As stated in other posts she is no peach, but she is the apple to my eye. I often day dream of her and myself.

But time moves on. I have learned that people have thoughts that are less that correct in the eyes of all but they are just that, thoughts. I look at my wife everyday and I see the person I will be faithful to and in turn be wed to for the rest of my life. I admit I failed in staying true when we were in high school, but we learn.

At least express your thoughts to your wife. So all cards are on the table. She sees the truth and can plan accordingly.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

My husband and I have been married for 3 years, together for 6, and have 3 daughters. My husband is my sister's best friend's brother, which is how I met him, through my sister. My sister was 14 at the time and had a huge crush on him, but she apparently was too young at the time for my husband. Well, while we were dating, he called my my sister's name twice, both times while he was telling me how much he loved me, once in front of my sister and the other time when we were by ourselves. As the months went by, I found him staring at her CONSTANTLY, staring at her boobs all the time. One night my husband, his sis, my sis, and I all got drunk and my husband's sis and I passed out. My husband later confessed to me that he and my sister satyed up and "only" told each other how they had a crush on each other and how how the other was. After months of feeling uncomfortable, I confronted my husband, still then boyfriend, and he convinced me that I was the one he wanted. Well, here we are years later, and I can't have all of us hang out together without there being tension. Especially since I have had three children since then, she is 21 now, and my husband is 26, I am 24. We have been having some problems lately with my self esteem and they have always had the same goals/interests. Whenever they get together, they talk about science, exercising, traveling, things I am just not interested in. I am really beginning to feel lke I am holding him back (especially w./ 3 kids) and that they truely are soul mates. This is tearing me apart, but I'm afraid that if I bring this all up to my husband, it will ruin or relationship, things would never be the same. Should we go to counseling, shoud I? I feel like something needs to happen though. Help!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

My god I didn't know that so many people felt this way...its refreshing.

Human

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

I have fantasized about my sister in law for about four years now. She is the same age as me and my wife is about three years younger. Sil has three kids and I have 2. She is no model neither am I, I just think she is real sexy and I can't really get her out of my mind. I know she fancies me too by the way she looks at me and the clothes she wears on days when Im around her house. I really would love something to happen between us like a one off but I know it would break my wifes heart whom I love to bits and so i know it will never happen and I will never allow anything to happen but it doesn't mean I can't dream about her. i am in work now thinking of her and getting very hot!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007):

Yes I too fantasize about my sis-inlaw in fact One day i even made a plan of putting sleeping pills in their food and when all sleeps having sex with her. she is my wife's elder sister but younger to me. but damn sexy..

i want to beget a child with her too if i can..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007):

I know that this is common problem with couples. The Wife with the hottttt Sister. My wife has a sister who is absolutly breath taking.. the way she walks the way she dresses, the way she stares at me... the way she touches my hand or arm...sends me through the roof...I am so in love with this girl it is driving me mad...like everyone has said.. The thoughts are wrong .....But I would give it all up to be with her .....I love my wife with all my heart...But I think that when you marry at a young age like I did you marry for the wrong reasons...I have three beautiful daughters....I am blessed... But I want to be with this girl more then I have wanted anything in this life.....She makes me feel good about me...But the one thing that sucks is that she is married too...I know she has similar feelings but I think that we a both are to afraid to act on them...because of what it would do to our families...........I guess it is a test from god....Thou shalt not covant they neighbors wife...This will probly send me to a crazy home...Cause I think about her 24/7.....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006):

Dear, I will advice you to stop thinkng about her, cox you will put your family into trouble and almost make you wife become untrust to you.

Best Luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006):

I'm also in the situation described.

I am 32 and my sister in ln law is 33. She lives in a house next to us where i have my office (it is her parents house). We see eachother every day. For two years now i have sexual fantasies about her. In the result of this fantasies my attraction to her became stronger and stronger. I have stopped thinking of her few times and it worked out very well. This time is the hurdest of all. i'm totally inlove with her (inlove not neccesarily love...). I wait to see her every day coming back from work. My wifes is going to sleep early lately becasue of our third kid so i go and sit with my sister in law. She get me so excited.

No one knows how i feel and i don't think i should tell my wife about it. i think i should stay away from my sister in law but i don't want to insult her (we became close friends).

It is the first time with all this story that i feel it is getting out of my control. I really love my wife and would not give her up for nothing in the world.

I feel blind with the bondage of lust and being inlove. I think it is best to meditate few days on this issue and put it in to normal scales.

I'm sad but that is life. i brought it to myself allowing myself to have fantasies on her...

Damm!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006):

It seems this is a more common problem then you would think. I have feelings for my sister inlaw as well. I did my best to avoid this. I removed myself from her life for 6 years. I made excuses to miss family trips and vacations. I made sure she did not come out for the holidays. I didn't even talk to her on the phone (call ID you see). It didn't work. I still feel the same way. I now know that she doesn't share these feelings. I'm 10 years her senior. She lived with my wife and I when she was 15 to 17 years old. She developed a lot of her interests from us so you see we share a lot and this adds to the attraction. She is now in her late 20's and a single mother. She is once again living with us. Her job takes her out of town and we have her daughter. Now I love her daughter like she was my own. I can't imagine her not being around. I already have a daughter of similar age and they get along like sisters (the good and bad).

Now things are not perfect with my wife. She has low sex drive and doesn't seem to have the motivation to try to change it. I've talked to her about this. She's seen a Doctor and we've been to counseling but so far nothing has worked.

Now to me. I live with 2 women I love. I'm not willing to trade one for the other. I'm stuck in the middle like some character in one of Shakespeare's plays. For the longest time no one knew about this so they would both say or do things that would be very painful for me and they couldn't understand why. In a moment of weakness (and in a brave hope to stop the pain) I told them both about how I feel.

Was this a mistake? We'll see. It's only been a week and for the most part they are both ignoring it. My hope is that after they are no longer freaked out by it they may develop a bit of compassion for me and begin to avoid those things to hurt me so badly. It won't be perfect. I'm still screwed no matter what. My biggest problem is I can't see any resolution to it. The future look bleak. To make matters worse I can't seem to find any really helpful info about this.

Can anyone point me to any good resources for help with this on line?

Thanks for listening. It helps.

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A male reader, lustful +, writes (24 November 2006):

i don't know what you should do, i'm a christian and married and feel the same way about my sister in law, i text her sugestive messages and sometimes she sends back answers, but recentlly i think she feels guilty about the messasges so i have stopped sending them. The thing is all lust, just work out who you want if possiable and go for it.I just want sex with my sister in law and thats my hang up i shouldn't be having these feelings as a christian but you either want to be with your wife or sister in law, find out what she wants and then decide what you want.good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2006):

i love my wife's sister, she is the hottest and i think about her all day.

i fantasize about her and i think she knows it by the way i look at her, i couldnt care less if i ever get the chance i will do her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2006):

Interesting...

I have a similar problem, but maybe worse. I am totally in love with my sister-in-law. It's not even purely a sexual thing; I really feel that she is my soulmate. But I can never tell her or take it beyond thought because it would hurt my wife too much and it would never work out with either of them after that. I know that she feels the same but the way their family is, we could never pursue it. So I just move on but I often wake up sad because I always dream of being with her...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006):

go for it i didi twice she fatter than mi wife but she has huge boobs and shes great in bed

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A male reader, inlovewith2 +, writes (17 February 2006):

i happen to have almost the same issue. but i virtualy had sex with both (i mean my wife was naked and my sisterinlaw watched, and she touch me a little.) but then i had some problems with her cause of this.

but still 4 years have pass and she does the same things as before but more discret. i mean a little touch, she takes care of me some times and some other stuff. she is marry know but still she hasnt change much. maybe she will devorce soon and i feel afraid cause i know that i dont only want to have sex with her but i love her as much as i love my wife. my wife knows that i feel atrackted to her and she agrees in secret but i still dont know wath to do.

i am not religious person but i know that i would have to give bouth the same. i have 3 kids and she has 1.

i am 26, my wife is 25, and she is 20.

never the less in this 6 year expirance with this i can tell you that if you only want to have sex with her, forget it iffff you love your wife.

but if you love bouth make sure they agree with that and that she feels the same thing for you. cause it could harm sombodies feelings.

never the less if you have a change to at least kiss her with out any future problems, do it.

good luck.

say yes to poligamy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2006):

Dude, you sound like a CREEPY SELFISH JERK!! WTF are you thinking trying to "get" your sister in law!? Imagine if your wife found out, not only would you ruin YOUR relationship, you would do horrible damage to the wife/sister relationship.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2006):

YOU SHOULD FORGET ALL THE PASSIONS YOU HAVE FOR HER. I CAN SAY THIS IS A THING OF THE MIND . JUST STAY AWAY FROM HER FOR A WHILE THINGS WILL CHANG.

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A female reader, Lovesmelovesmenot +, writes (19 January 2006):

Listen, I think you need to change, not your sister in law!

You have had bad intentions about your sister in law, you have put it into your mind, that she is sexy and sweet, and all that leads to sex. SEX with your sister in law, could be your wife is going to be your EX. YOu need to start viewing your sister in law, as YOUR SISTER. It may hurt your wife to tell her the truth. But you can ask for you New sister to help you, with maybe not making so much contact with her sister, for a few years, so you can work on your marriage. You dont need to be sleeping over at your NEW SISTERS house. YOu need to start thinking of your own Mother when you to see Your sister in law! YOu dont need to making conversation with her, or picking her up. And if you r wife's sister cares for her own sister, she will stop coming around the both of you, if you tell her to back off a bit.

I DO HOWEVER FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR WIFE. SHE DOES NOT DESERVE YOU AS HER PROTECTING MAN, AND LIFE PARTNER, IF HER PARTNER HAS PART TIME FEELINS FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

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A reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (17 January 2006):

Rebecca Batchelor agony auntThe way that you are feeling about your sister in law should highlight something very important to you and that is that your marriage needs some work.

The reason you are lusting after your wife's sister is because things aren't quite so rosy at home and it is this that you should be concentrating on.

Consider the implications if something did actually happen and listen to what your wife's sister is saying.

What can you and your wife do to make things a little more exciting for you both? Can you spend some quality and romantic time together? Can you enhance your sex life?

Think of all the things you can do to rejuvenate your married life and try them out. If, once you've made all the effort you can to revitilise your relationship, you find you still aren't happy and you may have also tried things like couple counselling, then you may have to consider that your marriage has run its course. I hope this isn't the case.

Good luck.

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