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I want my wife to understand that I think she's loveable and beautiful, but she has terrible self-esteem!

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 January 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

My wife has such esteem issues from her ex-husband. They were married 15 years, 3 kids. She was a beautiful athletic build, a hottie when she was young. He broke her down so bad she feels all men are the same. She feels like she is being judged and compared. Just the idea that I was at strip cubs years ago makes her sick with me having thoughts about her as compared to them.

I don't judge, criticize, ridicule or compare her to anyone. I only tell her positive things sincerely. I hate what these men have done to her mental state. I try to help through each episode that triggers the event. I reassure her my commitment and how beuatiful I see her, but she feels like I only do this because of how much I love her. We are now in our forties. Has anyone been through this type of situation?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2006):

This is serious. Abuse can leave lasting scars on the psyche and the soul. And I am sorry your wife is so wounded from her past marriage. You sound like an incredibly, supportive, loving husband and that's commendable. I respect that. Dear, she needs help to recover. She needs to heal those scars from her abusive past. This will not be an overnight process..it will take time, love and patience from you and the family. Please call an abuse hotline to find out about counseling for her, in your area or encourage her to join a support group. Go with her to give her strength and encouragement...she'll need that. Sometimes, when wounds are deep enough, they stay with a person for life, but there is hope if she seeks counseling, soon. Please keep helping and supporting her. She needs to take her life back and move forward, because she's emotionally stuck in this painful mode-it's as if the absent ex-husband is still in control of her life. Again, keep loving her as you have...she'll need that if she gets any type of counseling underway. It will be hard..but she deserve to find self-value and purpose with who she is..everyone should have that. Good luck to you, stay strong and keep loving her. Take care

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A female reader, PornStarKitty +, writes (1 February 2006):

PornStarKitty agony aunthiya, yes this isnt uncommon!! i have been throught this myself! the only thing you can do is what u have been doing!! try and be patient, just reassure her!! but the ultimate thing is get help from someone! if she is that bad the doctors can help ( not always giving pills) they can give you the name of a good therapist!!

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