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I want my husband to dress as a woman permanently, are there any pro's or con's to my plans? Has anyone else pulled this off before?

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Question - (21 December 2011) 12 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

A few months ago I talked my 25 year old husband into dressing up in my clothes during sex play. He is a small framed somewhat effeminate, 5'8" 145 pound guy. I was very much amazed and turned on by how much he looked like a real female. Here is where I am stuck. I seem to have a desire to totally feminize him. Eventually I would like him to be in a female role 24/7. To do this we would need to move to another area and he would need to find another job, one that he could do dressed up. He agreed to all of this rather easily. I was wondering if there are other couples out there that have been able to pull this off and would like to know pro or con as to my plans.

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A male reader, Maggied01 United States +, writes (8 January 2014):

I was wondering if you had indeed moved and if your husband is now living permanantly as a woman and if so if he is accepted in your new community. When I transitioned from living as a man to a woman I was able to keep my job but I lost status at the company along with most of my friends. I am always interested in hearing how others with similar transitions have progressed. I would love to hear from you.

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A female reader, Steve67 United Kingdom +, writes (9 May 2013):

Very Bad Idea to live everyday as a woman I have done sort of a few times..going out was really hard and still is..I had bricks thru my windows,car smashed up and even to the point where I was punched..I had to move and this is my 4th I do this when its late outside and I can get away with being in the dark...I live life as a vampire when I dress female....yes I would like to dress 24/7 again and be myself but people are the problem they don't accept you as you are been laughed at and told I am a pervert and a lot worse...I have even gone out of my town and had the same reaction once they find out your a guy thats it you are put thru hell and its not nice....

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A male reader, LessThanZeroMasculinity United States +, writes (8 April 2013):

How avid?

At every possible opportunity; will one day be fulltime.

How indulgent? Well, I have a bright yellow theatrical quality Vegas showgirl costume that I wear out clubbing and to casinos a few times a year JUST FOR FUN.

I have sickeningly feminine pastel pink, dripping with white lace, girly-girl Easter-type party dress I wear out clubbing several times a year, JUST FOR FUN.

We have all heard people say they don't care what others may think of them but with regard to my public attiring I truly am as such. Nobody can insult me! No intended insult works on me! What, some guy could call me a sissy, wussy, fairy, fag...I love it...any such 'attack' I perceive as, at worst, emasculating...which is the next best thing to I love THAT too, YES, as far as I'm concerned, ('as' a male) I AM a pantywaist, wussy, sissy, fairy and pussy! ...all those things...and I LOVE BEING SO!..and 'as' a female I am an extreme girly-girl.

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A male reader, LessThanZeroMasculinity United States +, writes (8 April 2013):

But see, allow me to qualify: yes, I am a crossdresser, and not 'just' your everday, run of the mill crossdresser, no. I am an extremely intense, avid and indulgent crossdresser. I am a bisexual, transsexual, transvestite and have been as long as I can remember.

How intense?

Well I would so enjoy serving as a cocktail waitress, dolled up (as anything but maid or Vegas showgirl would be most appropriate)at any party of yours (and even one of your girlfriend's parties) if we were Significant Others...any crowd too...all females? No problem!

in fact that would be my first preference...a party with guys? No problem! Gay, straight, even phobic if at least the non-violent phobics. I get along very well with very manly, masculine straight guys because I have zero male ego.

I never even ever developed one in the first place. But yeah, I would be a totally soft, weak, meek, effete and ever, ever, ever so very, very sweet, mincing, swishing, limp-wristed, lisping, subserviently submissive S/O and especially as a cocktail server.

As I am now, I have greatly, permanently, irreversibly, and about 90% completely feminized myself including my self-induced chemical castration. As an S/O I would be most like lesbian in sexuality...and only active to the degree desired by my partner...that simply means that although I can enjoy sexual intimacy, it is not anything I need to survive.

My greatest pleasure in life is to fully girlify and hang with a group of genetic, natal females, being and being treated like 'just one of the girls'. I hate all sports except skating and gymnastics, despise American football and worship ballet.

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A male reader, LessThanZeroMasculinity United States +, writes (19 March 2013):

Why oh why couldn't I had met, fallen in love with and married a woman like you!?

All my life I have fantasized about this exact scenario, but as my luck went, as far as I could tell and meet, women like you did not exist!

I am envious of your husband...if he does not go for your desired plan fully and fully submissive he is an absolute fool moron!

If I had gotten married to a wonderful woman as yourself, you would not have been or be able to detect even the tiniest, most remote trace of any masculinity in, from, nor out of me whatsoever!

Nothing you nor anyone could have said or done could have nor wood instill nor bring out anything even close to resembling maleness in or from me.

Nobody would have even been able to trick or even force me into wearing any trousers or pants of any kind. I would have paid for you to throw a huge party with all your friends to ceremonially burn every stich of my male clothing, or better yet, you could have had me eagerly handle a yard sale of all my male clothes, while I close sales while dolled to the girly feminine princess nines, taking the cash from men buying my male clothes then I sweetly, demurely, and utmost subserviently hand al the cash to you after each sale.

Then I thank you profusely for handling the cash and later determining what you'd say we should do with the money.

And whatever you'd decide would be fine with me.

Of course if you were to insist that we spend every dime of the proceeds from selling my male clothes on my further and continuous feminization I would consider myself in debt to you for eternity and grateful for the privlege of doing this!!

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A female reader, Monza696 United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2012):


I have a close friend who went through a very similar experience but the decision they made wasn’t so dramatic. My friend Jane knew for a long time her husband had a feminine side to his nature and she encouraged it. She initiated it and over time he became to accept his female persona more and became comfortable with his new self. He wasn’t living as a female full time but like Miamine says he was dressing more feminine and even his male clothes were actually from ladies clothing stores. London is a big city and people don’t notice (more likely don’t care) how people dress. The transition was gradual and most of us (her friends) didn’t question it. I am sure there are some difficult moments for him but I just see them as a very happy couple.

He has adapted to his new life style very well and she is happy. We often go out and we just seem him as one of us, not a male dressed as female. I am not sure what the future holds but he passes well but I don’t think there any plans for him to change sex. He is not a transsexual but perhaps a crossdresser. He is not a full time woman but as near as you can get. As Miamine says, in UK we are used to people like Eddie Izzard and in London, people are probably more liberal.

Good luck but I would say he must want it too rather than be forced to do it.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2011):

Miamine agony auntNot really fair.. you like it, but what about him, to live 24/7 as a woman because your partner likes it is a very big sacrifice. Your asking him to move away, maybe avoid his family and friends, just to please you... that's asking a lot of one man.. what sacrifices will you make in return.

If your husband is a transvestite or transsexual and has a burning desire to live this way, then that's one thing, that's a "need", but you seem to be talking about something you "want", something you can live without.

I can only see massive problems coming up. Transsexuals and transvestites can explain themselves clearly, but all your husband will be able to say is "I dress like this because my wife told me too."

You need to question him very carefully about his true desires (not yours) and how he wants to live his life. If you push him to do something that he will later find uncomfortable, there is no going back as you will have made it public.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2011):

Miamine agony auntThere is a more suitable alternative if your husband is willing and you really must do such things... not full immersion as a woman, that's silly unless as I say he has such needs. But there is no reason why over time he can't dress more feminine. Here in the UK, we have guys like Eddie Izzard (heterosexual/comedian) and Julian Clary (homosexual/comedian) who will wear part male clothes and female clothes. They wear make up, with a male suit, and female high heel shoes. It's a look that can work if you have confidence. And if you introduce changes slowly (little bit of nail vanish.. later a little bit of lip gloss) there will be no need to move, people will get used to him and think he's just exotic or unique. Think they call it the metrosexual look over here.. Even footballers like David Beckham are not embarrassed to wear make up for men, or to be pictured wearing a sarong skirt and are comfortable to wear women's underwear.

Moving away from everyone you know and risking unemployment during the worst recession in decades, isn't very sensible thinking.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011):

Are you more sexually attracted to women than men? What happens if and when he gets tired of it and wants to reclaim his masculinity? Do you move again? I am not sure how much you have thought this through. Why not just keep this fantasy in the bedroom and maybe some selective role play outside of the home?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011):

Its a con if Husband feels he has to do so to keep you. He loves you so much he is willing to sacrifice his Identity?

Unless he harboured the desire all this time to be a cross dresser.

What if it is the 'newness' and 'taboo' of it all that adds excitement and when it wears off...?

What if moving to a new area, his job/co workers discover his real sexual orientation and he is fired for misleading/deception?

What of the possible safety/violence of others discovering his real sexual orientation?

Its best to seek a forum of such individuals and do some reading research into this lifestyle as another Aunt Suggested.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (21 December 2011):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntFeminization.... and/or crossdressing are fairly common fantasies/fetishes..... Live them as you wish and enjoy them....

I suggest that you find amd read the book titled "My Husband Wears my Clothes" for a good look and explanation of crossdressing and feminization......

Good luck....

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (21 December 2011):

RAINORFIRE agony auntI only see cons. But good luck

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