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I want my girlfriend to suck me off but she won't.

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 July 2007) 71 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I want my girlfriend to suck me off but she won't. How can I persuade her otherwise? I go down on her but she won't repay the offer.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010):

for me, i was scared that i won't be good at it. just make her feel comfortable and help her through it. i am more comfortable doing it now. just be patient. she will eventually warm up to it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2010):

Take a shower and don't finish in her mouth. Tell her you won't finish in her mouth. Mostly take a dang shower.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

basically for the guys out there. if you want head and your girl isnt giving it to you and isnt planing on giving it to you... BREAK UP WITH HER. Although sometimes girls just want time with a guy before they do it, that is acceptable, but if your girlfriend is never planing on giving you something that means a lot to you (and ladies blow jobs means A LOT) then you need to find another partner. Relationships are built on making eachother happy, physically and mentally, and without a good sex life you will not have a good realationship.

- Dr. Dom

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010):

I am an 18 year old girl. I'm not surprised that you ask this question because a few guys that I have dated have asked me the same thing. "Why don't you like to give head?" I do like giving head, but honestly, it depends on the dick and I just wasn't comfortable with putting their dick in my mouth. It just depends on the girls preference. Don't take offense to it. Some of my friends consider it disgusting, but like I said, for me it just depends. For example, I dated this guy who was totally hot, but he seemed to always be "wet"... not premature ejaculation but he just was always wet before we had sex. I just wasn't into sucking a cum covered cock before we got started. Basically, some girls just wont do it and for others it depends. If I were you, I'd ask her exactly why she doesn't want to suck your dick and see what she says.

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A male reader, lordawesome United States +, writes (24 April 2010):

You want oral pleasures from a woman.. namely.. the one you are with currently. OK. You have to remember that girls do not enjoy choking on hairballs. So at least trim it up if not shave it all off. Make her interested in wanting to suck cock. If you go down on her all the time, then stick yourcock in her face after you lick the snatch for a while. If she keeps being a prude bitch... grab her up by the hair and do it yourself. A lot of girls like an aggressive fuck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

Sometimes women feel pressurised when their partner asks them to suck them off. You need to understand that although some women don't need persuation to suck someone off, others do. Perhaps there is something about your penis that she doesn't particularly like. Maybe it's too wide for her mouth, maybe she feels that she wont pleasure you or impress you when she sucks. If you have bragged or told her about how well you've been sucked off in the past then that could have scared her into thinking that she may not be as good as that previous girl. Some girls can be very sensitive about their sexual performance and if compared to others or insulted it can cause a loss of confidence when having sex or foreplay. Maybe she's just not ready to suck you off yet, maybe it has been the wrong time or/and places when you have asked her before. Ways to get her to suck you off could simply be by dimming the lights in the room, playing soft music, having a romantic time together before, or getting her very horney.. Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010):

Is getting head very important? It sure seems like it is nowadays, and it sure feels good. My girlfriend doesn't like to give me head. And I don't really blame her, because I pre-cum when I get hella horny. She doesn't like that shit in her mouth. So my method of "I do it for you, so you should do it for me" doesn't work. If pre-cumming is a problem for you, you could wear a condom. Regarding condoms, the flavored ones are not good to put in the mouth...seriously, they are nasty as f**k. Solution: use a non-lubricated one. Sure, it doesn't feel as good and condoms are expensive, but it's better than a handjob. Otherwise, don't leave your girl if she will f**k you but not suck you off. And, if you don't like eating her out, then don't do it. It's simple.

Really, communication is the key here. But honestly girls, man up and take some cum in your mouth; we eat you girls out and deal with all kinds of nasty juices and gross shit. Anyways, if she is worried about her performance, that's easy: Assure her it's all good if she sucks at it, hahahah excuse the pun.

Man up ladies!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010):

Dump her. If she won't return the favor, she's not worth it. Think about it...if she won't return that favor, then where else will she NOT compromise down the road. Sounds like she's being selfish. No matter what reason she gives you, if you're doing your part and she won't do it, then find another woman. End of story. Sorry to be so blunt.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010):

I just wanted to say for those scared of never getting a girl , I've

been told many times that I'm fat, or gross, or creepy. But just when I thought nothing was going right for me I met a girl and am happy as he'll whenever I'm with her! So just remember, there's always someone out there!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010):

well here's my take on this. wenever i have a bf that i love very much i consider giving them a bj espeashaly if he is giving me something in return! maybe if u guys haven't had sex yet she still wants the label of being a "virgin" bcuz that's the only thing that would hold me back from helping my bf out (;. if u guys have already had sex then u might want to resonsider ur choice of lady bcuz to me that seems flat out selfish. but the best thing to do would b to talk to her bcuz without talking where would the world b? hope i helped anyone wit this problem.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2010):

I hate to sound misogynistic....But ladies...if you don't give your man oral...ESPECIALLY if he goes down on you...and even more especially if it's good....your not going to keep him around PERIOD. Swallowing/spitting/pulling away is debatable...but if you don't even lick, kiss, suck on, tease him with your mouth...you might as well just stop wasting your time.

It's funny how there is so much emphasis put on women, and their needs, and how their man doesn't do this, dicks too small, too big, cums too early, to rough, too fast too slow...yet...it's OK for you to not give oral cause you don't likkkke it...give me a break.

Whats even more ironic is do you know who created this problem ladies?...you! You have your fellow females to blame who went down on us previously like champs, and didn't miss a square inch of surface area. Men don't know how amazing, great oral sex is until they receive it from a willing, sexy comfortable female, so stop complaining.

Now, in your defense, if your man is lame in bed, can't last long, doesn't know how to take care of you, refuses to go down on you, and only cares about getting his load off, by all means....no oral!! I wouldn't give him anything. I'm a FIRM believer in do me, i'll do ya back...it's the golden sexual rule for relationship success.

Me for instance, I consider myself very good in bed, very attentive to women, very understanding of everything that goes along with them, their emotions, their feelings, self consciousness, nervousness, etc etc. and personally LOVE giving oral sex, never orgasm before she does, and spend a good deal of time talking dirty, kissing touching, and providing the kind of pleasure women want.. but just recently started dating a young girl who has yet to go down on me. First time for me by the way, I have ever encountered this problem. And though I definately have not been dating or sleeping with her long enough to say it will or won't go somewhere, I can tell you that if she doesn't get with the program, I'm gone.

You don't realize how much it says about you, when you don't give head because you donnn't likke it....it's got selfishness written all over it...I would be willing to put up money to say that any girl who doesn't give oral to you, when your working overtime on her....is probally pretty self centered in all facets of life, and really only cares about herself....

This...Is the UGLY truth

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010):

talk to her about it. i like going down on my man but i'm not much of a swallower, he lets me know before he cums so it wont get in my mouth. respect her choices and if she isnt giving you any you dont have to go doen on her..

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A male reader, iamright United States +, writes (22 November 2009):

girls that don't suck cock and take it up the ass simply aren't long term material. you just keep them around for awhile until some one more fun comes around. sorry, but that's life...

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A female reader, CrimzonRayne United States +, writes (6 November 2009):

I know this is an old post, but this is the way I see it.

I'm a girl, and I do NOT enjoy sucking dick. It hurts my mouth, sometimes it chokes me, and cum is DISGUSTING.

You should NEVER leave your girlfriend just because she won't suck you off... But talk to her about it.

I realize that my boyfriend goes down on me and his tongue hurts afterwards, and if he's willing to go through that for my pleasure, I'm willing to deal with a little mouth pain.

She may be nervous, and just talk to her about it in a gentle manner.

If she tries it(more than just one time) and doesn't like it, if she truly loves you, she'll probably do it if she sees that you like it... But it won't be extremely often.

Men don't seem to realize that some women just DON'T LIKE DOING IT.

It doesn't make us bad people, it doesn't make us bad girlfriends or not wife material... It just makes us human.

You don't love a girl for her dick sucking abilities or willingness to do so, you love her for what's in her heart and brain.

But like I said, I'm sure she'll come around if you don't push her.

And thanks to this post, I think I'll go and do my fiance a favor right now.

:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009):

I am just turned 18, and been goin out with my girlfriend for around 20 months, she loves giving me head and does so almost every day, i have never asked her to, she didnt know how to the first time, i just made it seem like a joke and said its fine because i wouldn't know what to do either, i told her that its fine that she doesnt know what to do, and just to practice on me. She now sucks like a porn star and is absolutely amazing, dont cum in her mouth tho, just as your about to explode, move her away from your dick, this will get you blown much mor often as she will see it as respectful that you dont want to cum in her mouth, so just tell her to experiment on you and try different mouth movements, and let her know what you like and dont like, hope this helps, good luck.

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A male reader, Ginoman United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

Ginoman agony auntOk, I've got to admit, I only read some of the responses, but still feel very comfortable telling you all that you're all wrong... lol

One answer solves both...

Role Play!

You've got to dress your dick up with a hat, scarf, and a shirt (possibly from a Ken doll).

Use a marker to draw a smile on it, but don't worry about the eyes, because it already has one... :p

Let the little guy talk to her!

If he's compelling and charming enough, she'll grow found of him, and want to give him a hug and kiss; and, that's when the frenching begins!

Trust me, it'll work; or, it'll traumatize your girlfriend more.

Either outcome will be equally entertaining!

I'm glad I could help... ;)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

ok you want to persuade your girlfriend if she is not ready she is not ready if it has been over a year i understand but if it has been like a month she doesn't fell comfortable but if you really want to show her want a good time you guys could have take her on a wild date treat her like a lady open up to your girlfriend and see what goes from there even though she doesnt want to have sex though it doesnt mean she doesn't like you just remember that and keep in mind that she just may not be ready ok hopefully things work out for you!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008):

My wife didn't want to give me head when we first married. After a long conversation about our individual needs, I found out that she didn't know how. She was afraid that she'd do it wrong or that she wouldn't like the taste.

I purchased a couple of dvd's on the subject, (amatures and first timers). One day when I was going out for the day, I left them on the coffee table, where she'd see them.

Her natural curousity got the best of her.

When I got home, I was in for a very pleasant suprise.

This may not work for everyone, but it's worth a try.

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A female reader, kmk356 United States +, writes (20 November 2008):

I dont understand women who say or just simply wont do this. Especially when it was just done to them. I personally live to suck dick so dont find anything at all wrong with this. She obviously is stingy ot as far as I can guess is scared. Maybe she doesnt know how, of fears that she will be bad at it. Also I know a lot of women who feel that it makes them some sort of whore or "not the type you'll want to marry. I would make it comfortable for her, let her know your feeling on the situation. That you find it incredibly sexy, and that while yes whores may do it the fact that she would doesnt make her a whore. If then she still doesnt seem to want to reciprocate then explain that the woman you had intended to marry would have to be comfortable with doing that other wise it would never work for you. If she doesnt wise up and come to her senses then drop her and pick up someone who will go DOWN! !

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008):

ive been with a few who wouldnt suck it and doing a 69 kinda leaves em no choice if she wants you to eat her out, the ones who wouldnt give head would come around in that case. just make sure shes on top as you dont want her on bottom in a 69 on her first time giving head, you may blow a load down her throat in that case due to gravity and really turn her off to it.

if she refuses 69 then just leave her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008):

Mate, i know how you feel. My girl doesn't like sucking on me and fair enough, I wouldn't want cum in my mouth.

When you masturbate, you cum a little bit without realizing it. When you receive a blow job/head job, the same thing happens. you cum a bit and the girl can taste it and doesn't like it 99.99% of the time.

Try getting her wet by kissing her, touching her body, talking dirty and erotically and pashing ( tounge kissing ) and maybe when she is horny enough, she may want to do it herself.

DO NOT ever try to force her or bribe her. She will do it when and if she wants to. Try talking about it to her when you talk about sexual things. Tell her how it would feel. If it makes her more comfortable, get flavored lube or flavored condoms. She may suck on you if you wear a condom.

Ask her if you need to when you are making out with her. if she is giving you a handjob, ask her to kiss it or lick it. if she does that, then ask her nicely and politely to suck on it. Even if it is just for 10 seconds.

Remember, would you suck a penis if you were a girl? Think about it from their point of view also, Not just your own.

Hope this helps mate!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008):

Dude u think u got it bad ive only ever kissed one girl, Talk about it haunting you, try being in my shoes. Seriously dude just be thankful you have a girlfriend who loves you, i would give anything just for that alone.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008):

i think you should get someone to teach her how to do it like a sex theripist they could probably help her out she just needs to know how to do it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008):

If u please her all the time and she won't compromise to please u i say "FUCK HER OFF" there are many willing girls who will please u in this way..don't waste your time waitng around u might be waiting all ur life. Men are always trying to sexualy please women, its in our nature..if she,s had bad experiance in the past its not ur fault u are not her councellor or pet robot..men have needs too..women kno this but they waste to much valueble time thinking about themselves. Go too the East cos western women are too selfish, to vain & stuck up. eastern girls will lick u head to toe everynite..now thats LUUURVE!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008):

its not that hard to get a girl to give head. you cant demand it. that will never work.

just drop some hints here and there about how good it feels(but wait until she is wet to say these things). And never push the matter too far.

If she thinks its dirty then try dropping these hints when you are in the shower with her. It works!

good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008):

On the topic of swallowing....

My (thirty something)G/F LOVES sucking me, but she would never swallow. I finally figured out how ro change this.

She really loves me a lotand loves to pleasse me. I told her I love "giving" her a part of me. I want her to have my DNA inside her.

Yup...she swallows every drop...everytime now.

True story.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008):

Here's an idea. Let's assume she may eventually try it and wants to please you. Ask her to suck your (clean) middle finger when she strokes you off.

she's sucking and pleasing you at the same time. You're half way there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008):

im a typical girl who often feels uncomfotable to go for it. My ex-boyfriend was very forward. but we found it better when you spend time with eachother. cook her a meal, watch a dvd then take thing further. be honest. tell her what you want. she will understand. if you like her alot you will feel comfortable telling her the problem. dont get nasty though. and pay compliments, it gives us girls a boost of confidence :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008):

trust me i had the same problem, just get on the bottom and do a 69 did it and it was the first time in 9 mouths she did it,and she is getting better and used to it

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A male reader, RHackett United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2008):

RHackett agony auntJesus man, i havent kissed a girl since december 2006 and that was only a quick peck. The idea of never ever having fun with girls haunts me constantly, and my idea of fun is considerd as descusting by some people, e.g touching, licking, sucking ect......

Please god i dont want to be lonely anymore..................................

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

I love my boyfriend but I don't give him head to make him happy I do it because I feel like doing it so girls if u don't want to don't do it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

QUOTEi have this problem.. my gf loves to tease me by lickin n kissin jus above my pants but she never goes any further.. she has done in the past and says she does like to do it.. but she doesnt do it often..

her self esteem is really low aswel but ive reasured her of how gorgeous she is and how nothin like tht matters to me n she shud feel cumfy around me..

i no her self esteem thing is the problem for me.. maybe its jus the same for your gf../QUOTE

I have the exact same problem =/

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

Treat it like politics. If Somalia starts attacking your business interests then cut off their food aid. (in other words stop doing her favors until you get some, or better yet sounds like you are in need of a trade in)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008):

Let me offer some advice: relationships are WORK, yes, work. You both have to work to give each other what you need. In the beginning of my current relationship my girlfriend hated the thought of oral sex in general (though she loved when i did it to her) but couldn't stand the thought of doing it to me. a year and a half later and we finally came to an understanding: I do plenty of things for her that i wouldn't normally like, but since she likes it, i like it. Once she saw my reasoning, she was a lot more apt to try it. She doesn't do it whenever i want her to, but the amount she does it is a lot better than her saying "theres no way i'm ever doing that".

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008):

I am in the same basket, I have approached her and we have had a full conversation on the issue, but she does not seem to give a shit. I do whatever it takes to get her off, if I dont finish I go down and make sure the job gets done. She might go down for like a minute before having sex, but she never offers or cares to get me off when she is not in the mood. I do everything for this women and she does not realize how much it bothers me. A lot of my friends are in the same boat and it is fucked up. Pisses me off, worse day of my life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008):

i have this problem.. my gf loves to tease me by lickin n kissin jus above my pants but she never goes any further.. she has done in the past and says she does like to do it.. but she doesnt do it often..

her self esteem is really low aswel but ive reasured her of how gorgeous she is and how nothin like tht matters to me n she shud feel cumfy around me..

i no her self esteem thing is the problem for me.. maybe its jus the same for your gf..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

Seriously, a BJ feels much better because of what the mouth has to offer over the vagina - and thats the point - without getting graphic and technical about it, of course.

If you want her to do it just because its 'kinky' or just as a token thing, then you've got the wrong idea.

It is something that is a pleasure to receive and once a girl knows that and that their man appreciates it instead of expects it, her opinion may change. Its often viewed as a hideous act by inexperienced girls. Something dirty and sleezy.

What I did was ask for it, she denied it with the usual 'yucky' response and I said, "have you seen a REAL one being performed?" - she said she'd seen pornos - I showed her a DVD of sexual pleasures and how they are done properly - not by oversexed pornstars. It helped a lot and she realised very soon that I was genuinely appreciative of it.

The DVD also explained something about the origin of lipstick -

"It was first used ancient egypt by the mistresses and women of the Pharaoh and his subjects to make their mouths more appealing to men for oral sex."

- There, now you've also learned something new!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

Hey...I was one of those girls, I think it was yucky to do that, and never did, however this guy i dated, ask and i refused...he would mention he love it...but did not insist. Scent/taste etc matters...I love him.

He would shower whenever he need to have sex....and little by little over a period of a year ...from just giving it a simple kiss...i learn to like it ...expecially when i could see how much pleasure it give him. I am married to him...and have learn a lot...our love life consist of sex almost every night...3 years later...people say we are still on the honeymoon (oh i forget to mention i also did not like sex...now i love it!)

Oh ...I will not do this with just anyone, and for many woman for diamonds they would not do it...for love they would.

For the guys posting comments here if you make a woman do something she does not want to she will resent you eventually...I broke up with several guys because i just wont do what they wanted...OR I DID WHAT THEY WANTED then broke up...if only they were patient ... the guys i broke up just dont get it...i am still friends with my exes however... i will never married or date them....great guys, just dumb where woman is concern...they listen but dont hear

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

i would be pist off 2 nd im only 14 im soory u have that problem cuz my girl forces me to let her suck on it maybe you should break up wit her nd get wit some1 freaky

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008):

get some "Kiss of fire" strawberry flavor (Fredricks of Hollywood and ask her if she would like to try. Most women don't like to swalow, so you can assure her that she doesn't have to. You can start with her first, and I'll tell you, it WILL drive her to the roof! then you can ask her to use it on you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008):

My girlfriend never used to do this for me either, and I'd be doing it for her which could be frustrating. but then I love doing to her anyway so it didn't make any odds with me.

anyway she does it quite a lot now, and says she enjoys doing it from time to time. but i really love doing it to her.

basically at first I asked her why not? and asked for a bit more than "I don't like it" and she "didn't want to gag" or accidentally bite me (I don't want her too either) and a few other things.

I got her do to as much as she was comfortable with, ie not putting it in her mouth, and first time she built up to it, and did put it in her mouth a bit a few times weeks later no problem do it.

we both really enjoy 69 now.

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A male reader, jer Afghanistan +, writes (15 December 2007):

Don't know what to tell you bud. Try watching porn with her, (when you are both old enough!) Always gets my girlfriend in the mood!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007):

i had the same problem, my girlfriend who ive been with for over two years now wouldnt go down on me she kept saying its rank and that she doesnt like doing it, i kept pestering her to do it and in the end she came around, i dont pester her anymore and she will do it on the odd occasion i think they feel uncomftable doing it because they think us blokes compare them to previous girls that weve dated.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

i have the same problem right now with my girlfriend. she really had a bad relationship in the past and wanted to not talk about it. she said he forced her to do things to him. personally i wanted to beat the living fuck outa him, but she won't let me. anyway. she needs to feel like she wants to. she has to consider it. if you forget about it and be confident, she wil eventually come around sooner than you think. make her think that you can be happy on your own, girls hate that and try to get the power back after that. just talk to her and show confidence. and yea, there are a lot of other girls out there. you're young. don't get hung up if she won't do it, simply give her a little time, treat her like gold, and if she gives you shit, throw her ass on the curb. remember, we don't need them, they need us

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007):

All i had to do to solve this problem was to get my gf to start a role playing game where at first she was dominating me, then we switched, i told her to be as dominating as she wanted and when it came my turn i literally just said "suck my dick B**ch". It worked for me. Me and her also have a sexual relationship where we are both open to trying new things.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007):

Sitting down with her talking about it is probably a bad idea. Don't make it too serious. The more you confront her, the more she will feel defensive. The more you want it, the more she will not give because she will feel she is being forced into it.

Make it fun. Make a bet with her that you will be able to abstain from sex for 2 weeks. If you lose, you will take her on a 100 dollar shopping trip. If you win, she will have to give you something (non-sexual, like xbox or smtg). Set aside 100 bucks to show her you can carry out your end of the bargain. One day she will try to seduce you, just be firm, don't even mention blowjobs, and she will probably figure out that that's the only way to get you to relent since you've been pushing for it in the past. Or you might discover something else you really like and she is willing to do and you'll forget all about the blowjob thing altogether.

And once you forget about it, it will come.

And after that you will start to think she is getting fat, or too clingy, or too independent, or too whiny, or too strong-willed, and there always seems to be better options just across the street. Hey, its the same for her! It is going to be a bumpy road and blowjob is just the beginning man

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007):

To all replys

I am female 43 was with long term partner 18 yrs would not give blowjob, he tryed for yrs to get me to comply it was a trun off for me but i made it up to him in other ways. we split he has had blowjobs now says there not as good as he thought and what I did for him was much better fantasy's so there you go. Some people just cannot do this no matter how much they love you so i wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007):

To the females responding on this. A guy may say he's okay to just go down on you, and you not go down on him, but that doesn't mean he means it. It's very discouraging to pleasure a girl and not get anything in return. The nice guys say it's perfectly fine, but they are really disappointed, so girls, don't think you can just free load forever. Also, if you have no intention of doing something to him, then don't ask for anything. To answer your question, being as young as you are, if you're this passionate about getting a little head, then you aren't in a relationship for love anyway. Move on and get some head. Sorry feminists....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007):

Good luck. My current girlfriend is exactly the same and it is killing me. It is more than just the act (or lack thereof), it is the fact that she won't go out of her comfort zone for me. I'll do it for her all day if she wants, but she doesn't want it and thinks receiving oral is disgusting. SO that makes it next to impossible to have the same quid pro quo that exists in most healthy relationships.

You might be screwed if you bring it up as well, so brace yourself. You'll feel like you're forcing her or raping her if she eventually does do it and you won't be able to enjoy it because all you'll be thinking about is how miserable she is during it.

I guess that means that we look like assholes because we break up with prudes. Great.

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A female reader, Lamar  United States +, writes (9 November 2007):

Well you need to sit down and talk, but let her feel comfortable at the same time. Teach her how to appraoch it and suck it. And if she still feels insucure, then don't push it. Don't break up with her because she won't do it. Let her know that you are still going to be there for her no matter what. I hope I helped!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007):

Well if she dosen't know how to, then you need to sit down and chat. Or you can teach her how to approach it and how to suck it. Just try letting her know that you are there for her no matter what. I hope I helped.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):

why do you think she should do what you want? She is a person; she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

I had the reverse problem, I don't eat pussy, and she want's me to, I think it's nasty to put my mouth where my dick has been, and I feel like if she want's to suck my dick, that, that is nasty too, but she doesn't mind, actually she like's it, and she don't like it when I don't want to kiss her right after she has sucked my Dick, I tell her that she ain't gotta do it, I'm satisfied with just sex in different positions, and we don't have to involve oral sex in our relationship, and she seems cool that I don't do her, even though she like's to do me, maybe I'll grow to be able to go there, I just aint feelin it just yet, and if it's that important to her that she has to venture off to someone else to satisfy that need, then so be it, Love me for what I am, and not for what you Need....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007):

Forget it. I'd have to agree that you're going to be wasting your time waiting for her. If she does do it it IS because she wants something from you. I have been married 20years. She used to do it when we were engaged. After we were married, that was the end of it. She asks me all the time to do it for her, but any reciprocation is out of the question. Oh wait, she did it for me a few weeks ago for the first time in MANY years. That was only because I gave her a diamond tennis bracelet for our anniversary. They're all the same, gimme, gimme, gimme and MAYBE you'll get. Leave her in the dust and move on !!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007):

The power to give pleasure is a great one, giving head costs nothing but a little time! Girls will give head for diamonds and things they want but can't afford; but, they won't give head out of LOVE for their partner!

I think from the get go, if a girl's not interested in giving head, good luck with ever getting a good bj.

I give my girlfriend great oral for as long as she wants. I treat her like a queen. I love and care for her, yet she gives me this bogus response of "I don't like doing it" when I ask her for head. I bet if I gave her a few hundred bucks she'd like it!

If you LOVE someone you should do everything possible to please them, or at least TRY. This goes for males and females!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007):

I tell you what,if she doesnt even consider sucking you off,then fuck her off...!all these views about you 'dont respect her' and all that shit.... what a lot of female garbage....of course they hate the fact of sticking a cock in their mouth and letting some poor deprived sick male pervert explode his white semen into their mouth is not a good thing....but hey, if it makes him happy she will keep him happy and isnt that the whole idea with the sick male race!

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A female reader, scared and alone South Africa +, writes (3 September 2007):

scared and alone agony auntHi I'm a girl who hates sucking, but love my bf so I give him oral, if it's making him happy, then well it make me happy, and it's not all that bad.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007):

your girlfriend may have her reasons for not repaying what you have done but she is taking liberties. talk to her properly and let her know that there are women out there that get off on doing this, also if you fell like you need it that bad then get a women who does this and keep your girlfriend your relationship will be better for it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2007):

find someone that will. if she wont now she never will. find one that will you will be happer.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

oh for goodness sake - is she 16/17. what makes you think it is natural for her to do this - I mean have you checked out exactly what you are asking her to suck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007):

well what is the appeal in doing it?! I think - too much - that if her strength of feeling was sufficient for you then she would do this = at least once in a while - because she cares. important I think to realise that love and attraction do not necessarily encompass sucking a penis until we gag.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007):

don't listen to all this mushy stuff everyone is saying.

she doesn't want to, then fine, move on. there are plenty who will. it's not about her enjoying it or liking it. it's about you getting what you want and her providing it. ditch her, when she asks why.. be honest. you may not getting anything out of it, but at least you might save the next guy some trouble. your doing your job, she isn't doing hers. just fire the bitch.

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A male reader, DJ8433 United States +, writes (14 July 2007):

DJ8433 agony auntYou're very young, and have your whole life ahead of you. Try not to give this girl a complex about it. Find another girl, and move on. Oh, if the topic of sex ever comes up with the next girl you want to date, ask her if she gives head. It sounds like it's very important to you that the women you are with do this, so any girl that won't might not meet your needs and you would be wasting your time with her. Have fun, your young, but please practice safe sex. [email address blocked]

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A female reader, girlwhoneedshelp United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2007):

girlwhoneedshelp agony auntHave you ever been put with the idea of having to suck a penis? I clitoris is a much easier thing to approach and pleasure than an erect penis as there are issues such as pleasure points and deep throat to consider. It is a very scary thing for a girl to do for the first time so DO NOT rush her as this is simply not fair. She might just be nervous that she can't do it properly or she might not even know how to approach it. Tell her you will show her what to do if she is willing to do it, you never know she might enjoy it too!

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2007):

love-him agony auntHi babe,

The thing is, she may not be ready, she may have a bad past, something is making her not like the idea. You cant pressure her into doing it and if she doesnt like it, she wont do it. Stop asking her about it, so often, and when the time is rite she will do it.

I hope i helped..

Mail me if you would like to talk x

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A female reader, Vane United States +, writes (13 July 2007):

Vane agony auntHey dude don't pressure her into doing something she doesn't want to do. My boyfriend has the same problem because i won't give him a blow job either. But he doesn't force me into doing anything. And she shouldn't have to repay you for anything. If you go down on her it should be because you want to and not because you expect something in return. I hope i helped. Message me if you want to talk.

-Vanessa(Vane)

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (13 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntOther people have already said you cannot (and must not) force her to do what she doesn't want to do. I agree with them. I would like to add that you should not see sex as "repayment". If you want to give her oral sex, well, do it because you want to, not because you expect her to "repay". I don't think this is how sex should work.

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A female reader, dollparts Canada +, writes (13 July 2007):

dollparts agony auntthe way you talk about it doesnt sound like you have much respect for her at all, well think about it would you want to suck some one off? I don't think so, so don't try and

persuade her, if she wants to do anything let her do it in her own time

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (13 July 2007):

O Connor agony auntyour both quite young and you need to respect the fact that she may not be comfortable enough to do it yet. just because you are fine with doing it to her should not make her obliged to repay you!! persuading her to do something she doesnt want to will only make her resent you in the long run. be patient and content with wat you have already with her. if you like her then it shouldnt be all about getting her to do this for you!!

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntyou cant force her to. You just have to wait until she is ready to do it.

Talk to her about sex, but dont try and persuade her. just put her fears to rest and talk it over. Maybe shes scred maybe she needs more time.

Just wait

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (12 July 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi,

You really need to be patient hun, if she is not ready then don't pressure her your both still young...

Why not talk to her about it ask her what she is scared of but no pressure ok...

It maybe her first time and she could be scared incase she does it wrong or you may laugh at her there could be a hundred reasons just be PATIENT, I have to say well done you as your obviously happy to please her and that is great I am sure in time she will be more than happy but for now give it time...

Good luck

Love Donna x

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