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I want my EX back... Do I get back with my EX?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (18 January 2008) 3 Comments - (Newest, 20 January 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anon_e_mouse writes:

I've been through it myself. That stage following the breakup where I can't help but want my EX back. Whether you dumped them, or they dumped you I think everyone goes through these feelings. Here are some reasons to (or not) get back together that spring to mind:

So should I get back with my EX?

PERHAPS:

1) You dumped him/her and after some time feel you've made a terrible mistake.

2) If you KNOW... If you're CERTAIN... it is what you really want and your EX has started to get in touch with you more and more often since the split. Perhaps they want to get back with you? However, perhaps they simply want to remain friends?

3) You think your differences/problems can be resolved and you want to give it a another go.

NOT A GOOD IDEA:

A) If you only recently broke. You need to spend some time away and have your own space. If it's still fresh then your emotions are likely to cloud your judgement.

B) You've already given the relationship a 2nd or 3rd chance (or maybe even more) and it still didn't work out.

C) You feel lonely and you don't think you'll meet anyone better.

DEFINITELY NOT:

X) The relationship was abusive - emotionally or physically.

Of course, you know your relationship and your EX better than I do and relationships are complicated. I wouldn't take these as hard and fast rules... more ideas than rules per se.

At the end of the day you need to do what you feel is right for YOU and ONLY YOU can determine that.

Anyone else got any dos and don'ts to add?

View related questions: get back together, my ex

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2008):

anon_e_mouse is verified as being by the original poster of the question

anon_e_mouse agony auntHi all,

I'm NOT getting back together with my EX. I thought I'd just put some reasons together to make sure you feel it's the right thing for YOU if YOU are considering it.

My situation...

1) I DID dump her BUT DON'T feel I've made a terrible mistake

2) I am CERTAIN about what I want and it's not that kind of relationship.

3) I very much doubt the differences/problems in our relationship could've been resolved having tried many times before.

A) We broke up 2 and a half months ago.

B) I already gave the relationship loads of chances and finally wrote it off after several break ups.

C) Whilst I do miss doing the couples thing, I don't miss the petty arguments, feeling tired and stressed and beaten down all the time. I'm sure I'll meet someone better for me.

X) The relationship was emotionally abusive

So a resounding NO in my situation but thanks for those comments anyway guys :)

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A female reader, cheekyloz3 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2008):

helooo!

well it is totaly up to you if you think your ready and shes the one go for it !

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A female reader, stawberry01 United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2008):

stawberry01 agony auntHI.

Remember wot it was like at the begining and wot it was like in the end could u put yourself trough all the feelings again the good and the bad? Or is it now that you dont have him/her you want them back?

X

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