A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I get my Ex-Boyfriend want me back?My boyfriend broke up with me last Saturday when I called him and asked is that you don't want to be with me anymore and he simply said 'no' and said he had to go.Then he removed his relationship status off FB but didn't put up that he was single. He said no the phone that always a possibility of us getting back together, that we'll always be friends.We were friends first, flirted, were best friends, then months later we started dating and went out for a while, and then I became his girlfriend, then we did it for the first time after being together for 2-3months (I was a virgin) he had many lovers before me and was a very confident and charming man, he also works in a bar and a nightclub, but that never bothered me because he introduced me to all his friends and stuff. He is friends with all his Ex's and people he's slept with but always told me everything even that he had cheated on a girl when he was younger and regretted it. I lived with all this and the fact I lived 2 and a half hours away and as he said he bought the ticket so it was only fair I travelled down to see him (Which I wasn't happy about but I forgave him) Because I loved him deeply and still do. We had an amazing Christmas together, I bought him an Xbox 360 and he got me art stuff, I also did a drawing of him, his brother and his dad for his mum as a present for Xmas. Couple a days before New Year's we were lying in bed and he told me he loved me. I cried cause I was so happy, I really was. We always had little rows, but never massive fights, or name calling, after a day or so we'd both apologize and be happy and flirty again. But for the past 2 weeks he was very moody and off with me and I know I asked too much sometimes because I simply felt their was something wrong, and he just said he was grand and fine and nothing was wrong.He was very cold when he broke up with me. He started College on the 23rd and I knew he would be very tired and he gets very moody and very cranky when he's tired cause he likes his sleep. So he goes college all day and then goes to work in the bar or nightclub at night so he does be tired and I just called to either say goodnight and ask how he was after work once he sent me a text. I never bothered him all during the day, was never pestering him or anything like that ya know? Always let him text me first. So during the week I knew something was wrong and just was asking him cause I felt their was something wrong that he wasn't talking to me as much or didn't want to talk, and I asked did he not want to be with me or something was that it he said no course not, cause I didn't want us falling out if we were a little cranky or stressed ya know. Then he kept saying I dunno, I dunno. Then Saturday phone call happened just like that, 'no'. So I didn't bother him the whole weekend but couldn't understand how cool and blasé he was about it. Monday I tried to talk to him, but he got angry and just said some really hurtful things, even though I was calm and trying to fix whatever was wrong and he kept saying he was sick of the arguing, he couldn't take the arguments, that he'd given as many chances as possible. Then I started to think it was my fault that I went on too much or was off sometimes, and then I tried to say sorry and apologize and feeling like I had caused the break up. Which I know in my heart when I look back I didn't do anything wrong, and if I was off anytime I would always apologize but he never did for anything he said to me and he could be awful moody some times and say somethings that would make most girls tell him where to go but not me. He would go out with his mates a lot drinking, and wouldn't be home until the morning hours and he'd text me saying he was home or called me. Anyway, so Monday he was cruel to me what he said but still wanted me to stay friends even though I couldn't become just a friend after everything we'd been through and falling in love with him.So Tuesday he sent an apology message saying he was sorry for hurting me, that cared alot about me and would still think of me often and that when we both healed we would be friend, that he would reply soon and when he cleared his head. Saying it was possibly the hardest thing he ever had to do. I sent a message a day later saying how I couldn't be just another friend not after everything we went through together their was too much and I love him too much to just become a simple friend in his life. So I know I shouldn't have, but after my last message I tried talk to him on Thursday a day or so later, after saying I couldn't be just friends, and again he was in a very angry mood with me and saying that we'd be friends in time that he didn't want to make up that us as a couple was done. And again was very mean and hurtful to me, regardless of trying to reconcile, I know in my heart I shouldn't have asked for it to try work, I should have just left it. But I had cried for 5 -6 days because of this, but he was very cold and not the man I remembered.So I just said "Sorry it had to come to this, I really did believe we could work things out thats why I tried so hard with you, but you dont want me in your life any more and its breaking my heart knowing that, I loved you, but you've let me go now and I have to accept that so I had to let you go hun goodbye x" cause he simply stopped talking after that.So I made the really hard decision to delete him from my FB, Skype, other email places etc, the hardest was his phone number so I couldn't embarrass myself any more or be tempted to contact him.His last words were Im off Iv stuff to do...I hate how he left it and I really hope one day he apologizes for being so mean, but my heart wont let go of him, I still love him and I'd still want to get back with him if it was possible because I knew when we were together how strong it was, how much we felt for each other. He had a nickname for me he used even when we were just friends and then became lovers, and said I was the most important person to him etc all that stuff.I do remember a conversation he said once when he was a little tipsy saying about if were a couple one of 2 things would happen, A-after a few months of being together he'd panic and break my heart completely or B-He be with me for the rest of his life, that I didn't know how much I was a part of his life, that people had said to him why he wasn't flirting because he said it was of me, how much he cared for me and stuff. Alot of things he said that made me believe we would last, for a long while.Anyway, I still miss him terribly and he seems to be fine from last time I talked to him on Friday after the horrible conversation that ended with him saying he was off he had stuff to do, and to him it was my fault because of the arguments and that he gave many chances for it to work etc, but for me we were doing grand, had little tiffs here and there, nothing serious, just like if he was off or I was off, but we always said sorry if we were and then got back to ourselves. But then he just decided he'd had enough and needed a break to sort out his head and look out for himself, he didn't want to be with me any more that was it.I feel lost and I do still cry at times during the day or night, not understanding and wanting him back. I love him terribly with all my heart is physically pains. I feel like I have done everything wrong, and I know I didn't, so I couldn't stay friends, and even though his last words were iv stuff to do, I said goodbye and then deleted him so I couldn't be tempted to contact him not by message, email or phone.But I still want him back....what do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (5 February 2012):
 He's your first true love and the one you lost your virginity to so he'll always be kind of special to you. When we have relationships it's to see if we get along and if we're compatible. As time's gone on, he's obviously felt you and him weren't and that's why he's broken up with you. It's not easy being rejected but nothing you can do or say will make him love you or make him want to be with you again. That's got to be HIS choice.
Savour the good times you had together but think of the not so good times too. That way, as time passes and you become more focused you might even agree that he's right, you weren't meant to be together and that there's someone out there who's much more deserving of you.
Don't let this put you off of meeting other guys though. Instead LEARN from it. NEVER give more to a man when you're in a relationship than he gives to you. Let HIM chase! Let HIM make the arrangements to take you out, let HIM get in touch with you... because you're special and he has to see he has to fight for you to keep you in his life. If you continue to chase after him then he doesn't need "to try" and the challenge is lost.
Just remember, you are a wonderful unique human being and you deserve more! And you know what... you WILL get it from the right man when the time is right. Close the door on this relationship now, only then will it open new doors and you'll be free and ready to meet someone new.
~Eve~
A
male
reader, Uncle_Unsparing  +, writes (5 February 2012):
"How do I get my Ex-Boyfriend want me back?"
You can't.
And I stopped reading after that first sentence, knowing no sub-microscopic rehashes of trivial events contained in the following War and Peace-length scenario is going to influence the obvious: No Person A can convince another Person B to do anything Person B does not want to do, no matter how desperately Person A wishes that fairy tales can come true.
And he's probably a scumbag you're better off without, anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012): Basically there is nothing you can do. It's over for him and you have to accept that, despite all things lovely things he said and did, the relationship is over. Sometimes that is just they way it goes. Searching for the reasons it ended will get you nowhere so try not to agonize. Everything is too raw just now so don't text/email him and avoid any physical contact. The first painful step is to accept the situation and try to get yourself over the breakup. It will take a while, but definitely forget about trying to get him back, that will only prolong the agony.
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A
male
reader, gundam007 +, writes (5 February 2012):
It's really over. You cry, you bitch to friends, and you post questions to dearcupid. And slowly, you get over it. That's the important part. Re-read your questions, and think about what hurt the most, but when you get a point where you say "I hope he apologizes someday" or "One day he'll realize the error of his ways" you have to make an edit. He won't apologize, and he won't feel like he was wrong. Or even if he did, that's just what happens. Sorry, kiddo. @----
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