A
female
age
30-35,
*PC11
writes:Okay so I am a healthy adult (19) who wants sex... I'm still a virgin and yes I want to wait for a guy I love and trust with my special gift. I always thought I would wait for marriage but lately I've sorta changed my mind. Again as long as I am in a healthy long-term relationship with a guy I love and trust (to the tenth degree) I can have sex. The only thing is although I want it and think about it in abstract way. When I think about ME having it and having some guy on top of me. Being all sweaty and well into it I get so damn scared and I get butterflies in my chest. I don't know maybe if I'm actually IN the moment it won't give me panic attacks but how the heck do I get over my fear of this?
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female
reader, HPC11 +, writes (16 September 2009):
HPC11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you :D
A
female
reader, HPC11 +, writes (8 April 2009):
HPC11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Old guy... For some reason I never thought of it that way. I shouldn't keep putting rules and restrictions on the physical side of my relationships. Just go with the flow... your comment makes me feel so much better
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Sex is beautiful in a commited relationship. I think that you don't have to be married, but you have to be in a relationship. My wife was curious about sex when she was in college, and ended up getting picked up in a bar by someone she kinda knew. She never overcame the feeling of being used (... because she was used). So wait for the right guy, who will treat you right, and make it a good experience.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Are you christian ? Im a christian . Well hun i met my bf wen i was 18 and im now 25 . One nite we were watching t.V and he already new i wanted to wait til marraige . But i cudnt handle it . I saw thes raunchy scenes. And he was rubing my leg and then he put his hand in my pantiez and i waz sooo wet . He ended up fucking the shit out of me and it waz the best . So why wait ?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): First of all, don't lose your virginity or compromise your decisions just to lose your virginity. I did the same with my first serious boyfriend and I wish I wouldn't have done that. Ok, I did learn a lot about what I want and need from a relationship, but I compromised on waiting for marriage and I regret it.
As far as being worried about what happens during sex, when you find the right person, you will feel comfortable when the time is right. If that doesn't happen, you may want to possibly talk to a professional. You may have another issue, depending on other factors, like OCD.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Kiddo, when it's right, well, it will be right.
Of course the idea of it is scary, when you're thinking about it in the abstract. And as long as it stays that way, as long as it seems wrong and gross, then you shouldn't do it.
Eventually you'll find yourself with someone who makes you feel wonderful. You've gotten to know him and have come to respect him, and trust him. When that's all in place, all of a sudden the act itself no longer seems sweaty and gross -- it becomes the right thing to do to take the relationship to the next level. It will happen naturally and on its own. Don't do it before then. But when you're sure, when you feel it's right, go with the flow.
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