A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Basically i was with this guy and our relationship was alright (not too strong but not too bad) but then we started having petty arguements over nothing. But when we broke up we didnt really have a conclusion like our relationship just gradually got weaker and weaker. Well we have stayed good friends and we still have that cheeky chat and flirting comments now and then. However, i found out he is in a relationship with a mate of mine im not too close with. My sister is closer to her then me. I was happy for them both.... Until i tried to move on. No one is like him. Even when i dont compare them to him. I know he is the one i love. I may not have realised it before when we were going out but i do now. And i know if we had a second chance we would be stronger then ever. I didnt want to break them up so i waited for him. Us still staying friends and i have waited 2 months now. When i spoke to my mates about it they have said to tell him my feelings, so i managed to pick up the confidence to, i got quite a complicated answer which showed signs of him still loving me but then not. Weeks later i put it more blunt to him that i liked him and missed him and explained how if we were to try again it would work. This time he said how he missed me too and everything we had was special and hes never had anything like it. But then when i tried to talk to him about it the next day he said, 'can we not talk about it'. He is showing me such mixed signs. I dont wish to break him and his gf up because i would feel guilty and also if my sister found out she wouldnt be happy with me. But also at the same time i want him so bad i know he is the one. I know we would be the perfect couple. And i assume by the message he still loves me really and isnt happy with his current situation. Please someone help me what to do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2015): He is trying to avoid drama and you making a scene, by saying nice things about your old relationship. He's just a kid, and he doesn't know how to make you "go-away!" He's seeing somebody else now, and you only want him back because he is.
He's not the problem. It's your jealousy about the other girl that keeps you trying, and it's killing you from the inside. It hurts because he has moved on. If he wanted you so badly and missed the relationship; he would have taken you back in a second, and dumped the other girl. he won't!!!
The reality is, he likes the other girl now. You've got to be a little more mature, and be woman enough to show how strong you can be. Let him go. His feelings for you weren't strong enough to keep you together. Breaking-up was proof of that. You got youth on your side, your feelings for him will fade in a few weeks. Some other cute nice-guy is going to check you out, and help you to forget all about him. That's the good thing about being just 16!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 March 2015):
 As I have said maybe 100 times on DC, mixed signals = no signals. The only true green light signal is an enthusiastic, inequivocable yes.
Moreover, often it's wishful thinking that makes us see negative signals as " mixed ". I think this is the case, pardon the bluntness, but, to the eye of the uninvolved observer , where's the mix here ? You tried your luck 3 times, and 3 times he turned you down. Kindly, but firmly.
What you've got to do is let him be. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to be the perfect couple. Half of the couple has , at best ! , strong misgivings and hesitations, so how perfect do you think it could really be.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 March 2015):
 If he wasn't happy with his current girlfriend he would break up with her, I think the messages he sent was him trying not to hurt you further ..... young men are not known for their communication skills when it comes to talking about emotions.
Your sending him these messages IS trying to break him up with his girlfriend, you need to accept he moved on and got a new girlfriend, and if you and he were the perfect couple you would still be together.
I think you are suffering from a case of sour grapes, and that you are a touch antsy about him moving on so quickly.
You need to let this drop, if he breaks up with his girlfriend and you are still interested then try to rekindle then, but what you are doing now is attempting to get him to leave his girlfriend for you, and that is just not right!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2015): Dont bombard him with an emotional roller-coaster ride.
You've made your point and now you should stop and wait and see what happens. Constantly bringing it up and trying to "work" something out would only make you look desperate.
Sure, what you had was special according to you, but there's always the possibility that you only like him now just because you cant have him, technically.
You've made your point, now back off a little and give him time to ponder over it and talk to you about it on his own terms!
Good luck!
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