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I want her back desperately! Any advice?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 November 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2009)
A male India age 30-35, *ood soul writes:

hi guys! please i need your help.

back ground- last year, when i was in 10th standard, there was a very cute girl in my class. but sh was very shy and reserved.and by luck, i was her only guy friend. slowly, i developed a huge crush on her.

now we used to talk a LOT in class on phone and over internet. it was like at least 5 hours a day.

then many of her friends told me that she felt the same way that i felt towards her. she too had a crush on me !!!

then i had to go to some distant place for a few days. i grew too lonely without her and couldnt control any longer. so one night, i called her up at midnight and proposed to her. by God's grace, she said YES!!!

but i am very very outgoing and loud in nature, and she was very quite in nature. so i began to think if i had done something wrong.

then sumthing happened on that trip that depressed me very much. i wanted to be alone al the time.so i didnt take her calls or sms.also i thought that leaving me would be good for her

she didnt like all this, and fought with me and left.we exchanged a lot of verbal abuses.

now its been 6 months and we havnt talked.

i want her desperately back now, and its killing me!

please people

help me.

now

View related questions: crush, depressed, shy

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A female reader, Blod United Kingdom +, writes (14 November 2009):

Blod agony auntYou just need to tell her that you're sorry. Explain what happened: you felt down and wanted some space. Tell her that you're sorry this upset her, you didn't want things to get this far and you want her back.

You said she was quiet. With quieter girls it normally takes a lot more to win them round. Starting a relationship is normally more of a big deal to them than most people. They're more hesitant and as you said, it took you a while to grow closer to her. So when you wouldn't open up to her and wanted to be left alone, she probably felt rejected and got angry with you and herself.

So winning her round again is likely to be a long process. You were together, which shows she had feelings for you, but you then went on to hurt her so her guard is going to be right up. I doubt she'll give in easily.

You're really going to have to convince her that you're sorry and want her back. Convincing her is going to be the problem and what you're going to have to work on to win her back. I wouldn't be surprised if she still likes you, it's just making up for letting her down.

I hope this helped. X

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A male reader, good soul India +, writes (14 November 2009):

good soul is verified as being by the original poster of the question

good soul agony auntthanks a lot blod..... but tell me .... if you had been in her place, what exactly could i tell you to win you back ?

i mean i dont want to take risks anymore, i am too scared.

so please can you give me some details ?

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A female reader, Blod United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2009):

Blod agony auntI really feel for you reading this.

I think the best thing for you to do would be to open up to her. She needs to know why you ignored her and how you felt. You want t her back so make her realize how much you want this. Just tell her everything that you put in your question. Let her know how you feel.

It might take a while for her to come round but if she wants to be in a relationship with you then she should understand. Just make sure that you don't exchange anymore verbal abuse. You've clearly pushed her already so don't do it again or you could really ruin it.

Good Luck. X

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