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I want change in our relationship

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Question - (29 June 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Okay, apparently I wasn't very clear about my situation with my boyfriends broken promises. Let me get this out. By no means am I selfish, spoiled, or whiny and my baby is the utmost important to me. Yes, he is a good guy and we love each other but, he spreads his generous nature so much that in the whole 7 months we've been together I have seen him a handful of times. He's promised to not work 16 hr days and rest only to end up at the doctors office with exhaustion. Don't get me wrong I love he is responsible and wants to care for me and my daughter. Believe me I let him know everyday how much I love and appreciate him but, everyday it's something different and he tells me watch it's gonna be different. We live in different cities so it makes it harder. I definitely don't use my daughter as a guilt trip for him. If I sound like it's about me, not the case. I am always understanding. Also, I pull my own weight in this relationship. So, someone tell me how to approach this?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2006):

Being a hard worker is not a bad trait but when one gets so side-tracked, they do forget to enjoy life, family and the many things it offers. Like the other aunts on this page, I am wondering why you both live in different cities. Children need both parents to spend quality time with them and perhaps you should consider that one of you moves to be with the other. Families have a hard time functioning in a good, consistant manner, when one of the partner's is simply ...not there. I believe that it's natural for relationships to progress. But the longer you sit in another city, your relationship will not go forward. Someone here has to make the decision and commitment to move. The benefits will greatly enhance your lives. Family togetherness is crucial-it builds love, solidarity and togetherness. Start planning with your bf, which one of you is going to do this. I wish you the best, dear. Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2006):

Just love is not a good reason to stay in a relationship.

You've only seen him a handful of times in 7 months? And you have a daughter?

When are either of you planning on moving cities to be closer to one another? Or are there no plans to do such things? If not - are you expecting the situation to change? It seems you've brought it up with him, and nothings changed. What will make the future any different?

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A female reader, Tinkz South Africa +, writes (30 June 2006):

Tinkz agony auntWell sweety

Being in different cities can be hard, so instead of him coming to you, go to him! tell him you want to cook him dinner and just in case he tells you he doesn't have time, say to him you'll cook him dinner at his house!

Tell him your baby misses him and so do you!

Men battle to multi task so help him out!

It's good that you understanding but you also need to let him know that as busy as he is you need to feel appreciated to! Women tend to faff over men and want some attention in advance but we never say it because we don't want to upset them.

but if you don't tell them how will they ever know!

Call him tell him you want to see him, spend time with him but let him know that you want it to be about the both of you and your baby!

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