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I want a threesome and my wife feels it too

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2009) 11 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2013)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a normal guy, with a good professional career in Banglore. I fantasize a lot about sharing my wife with other men in a threesome fashion, and also about watching her have sex with other men. It has become such a strong part of my sexual life that I know it is more than just fantasies. I actually have a strong desire to act on it. I talk to my wife about it, and she is OK with it as long as it stays a fantasy. If we talk about it while making love, I can feel that she is enjoying the thought too (I can feel it, if you know what I mean).

I was wondering if this is normal? Do other men go through this? It may be not that big a deal in western countries, but what about India? Us Indian men are supposed to be protective of our wives, and get mad if someone even looks at our wives. What is wrong with me? Is anything wrong with me? I would like to hear any thoughts, advice, suggestions, etc. If other people have also experimented with this, where or how could we meet and invite another guy we could trust in Banglore or Mumbai?

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A male reader, sexyabhi India +, writes (21 March 2013):

Hi guys,

its perfectly fine to have a fantasy, most imposrtant is the comfort level of both the partners. and emotionally too you should be able to handle it . I think in a threesome its most important you have a man who is understanding caring and patient and joins u in your endeavour together to pleasure her. If you like we could connect and chat on this matter together. A threesome is all about mutual pleasuring and not a free ride for a stranger .It has to be very maturely and beautifully dealt with for everyone to enjoy it .If your wife enjoys the thought too you should allow her to gradually get comfortable , let her get at ease as friends with the third guy .talking about what each one of you love and not like i guess is important .Look forward to hearing from your views on what i shared .

rgds,

abhi

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A female reader, humera New Zealand +, writes (5 June 2012):

hey my husband has got many fantasies like you he wants MMF MFF and he want me to see blowjob to other guys but these are all fantasies and he uses this all while having sex and that makes me horny too and help me cum hard.

I do involve in some of his fantasies like wearing revealing clothes, no panties in skirt, no bra in blouse, exposing cleavage in public, had sex in car, outside our house in night, went out naked with just bathrobe on in car for a drive so these kind of things we do and that makes us boost of sex life. We are married from the last 11 years and he still fucks me daily and 2-3 times on weekends.

so cheer up dont get involve any third person make your wife feel how sexy she is and you love her a lot as my husband does to me.

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A male reader, sin29city India +, writes (11 April 2012):

hi

u can always try it with consent and finding the right guy

m frm bangalore and have been involved with cpls

u have to have the trust

meet at common place see if u click and head home

all else follows smoothly if the guy is knowledgable :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009):

Hey, i am from A.P, i also had this fantasy. I talked to my wife about this, we were really drunk. she agreed to my fantasy, then one day i brough home this young stud to our hourse. We were again drunk, she was hesitent in the begenning but then she gave it her 100%. We had great fun. Our relation ship had benifited form this, we feel free talking about sex easily now. Be care ful that the other person who comes to u is a good friend of ur's and understands u. Secondly no one else nows about this, especially the family. U know how the socity takes these things in south india. Do repy to me. Its very normal. Have fun...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009):

there is nothing "wrong" with you but sharing her with other men, its like prostituting her in a way. i think you feel you cannot satisfy her fully therfore want her to be with these other men. are you sure you also do not have bi sexual tendencies. would you also like to join this other man with your wife? th moment a third party is introduced in a marriage the marriage goes under within a spece of time. remember this your wife may also fall in love with the 3rd person and this will leave you alone. she may start prefering this other person and then what.

fantasies are sometimes better left as mere mental images instead of acting it out. you just have to read the stories here to know how dangerous it is when a third party is involved in a committed relationship. if you are a indian man, believe me, this may start out as a sexual fantasy but when it is in force then you will really know the heat is turned on. ultimately you will feel second best . indian men were taught to be exclusive without sharing their so called loved ones sexually. i think your fantasy will ultimately be your downfall so be careful what you wish for.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009):

Fantasies played out, are never as good as we imagine them! Nothing goes the way you expect it to.

I think it takes certain kinds of people to have a successful threesome...people who are secure in who they are and who they are dealing with.

The sense of jealousy or even the feeling of being "left out" can also be a factor.

Before you do something you may regret, discuss this openly with your wife. Both of you, must think this through very carefully before acting on it.

Good Luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009):

Not an uncommon fantasy for many fellows. Check out these links:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-swing--how-do-i.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-watch-my-girlfriend-have-sex.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-make-my-beautiful-young-sexy.html

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-i-enjoy-watching-my-wife-have.html

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (4 June 2009):

GrimmReality agony auntWell I can only say that from experience, that you may want to be careful for what you wish for.

Simply put, you have to be mentally able to handle watching your wife with another man. In my situations in Three ways I was not married, so being married may bring another component to it.

But you better be sure about it. If you say you can "feel" your wife being all for it, you better make sure, and the only way you can make sure is by asking her. She may be enjoying the "thought of it" but when it comes down to it, whether she participates in it is her decision, not yours.

Are you sure you can handle cuckoldery?

And what of the fallout if it goes bad? You must consider every possible outcome, especially if you are dealing with cultural issues as well. Not all your friends will find this exciting, so be prepared to lose a friend or two if it ever becomes public, which it will, becuase we men cant seem to keep our mouths shut about something like that, regardless of what country you are in.

If you are looking however to shop around for a willing penis to help you out, try adult friend finder or the many adult sites on The NING network or Socialgo.

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A male reader, DR_A_CULA Australia +, writes (4 June 2009):

whenever you think of your wife in this fashion, it is your deep subcoscious that believes that you are not good enough for her.

Of course it's natural, nothing is wrong about sex as long as you both freely agree.

sex is to be enjoyed, though society has placed so many restrictions that your conscious level is confused, but your subconscious level (that is all knowing)knows that theres no such thing as right or wrong.

so go ahead both of you have a good time but no guilt is allowed ever.

when they have both finished with her then you must also give her a dood fucking too.

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A female reader, asian tealeaf Canada +, writes (4 June 2009):

asian tealeaf agony auntdude, people have MANY varieties of fantasies, but, we NEVER will know the true outcome of how we will feel after its been done, until, well, the deeds been done. i know many couples who experimented because they had such fetishes, and, sadly regretted them afterwards. so u need to really analyze ur fantasy, and ur relationship with ur wife, and whichever weighs more importantly should take precedence.after all, if things end badly, how much was ur wife worth to u? ur love? a woman is worth more than rubies. and a woman is like a diamond in the rough. treasure her, honour her, worship her, dont defile ur sacred holy vows with filth that will mar her worth and urs!!! because u cant unlearn something that u have learned. and u cant undo scar damage on a heart that was spotless. do u have kids? dont undo the sanctity of of ur familial vows and put ur faith in whatever god u believe in, and ask him to give u the strentgh to turn ur mind away from such desires. i hope u will do the right thing, whatever it may be

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A male reader, 2old4this United States +, writes (4 June 2009):

2old4this agony auntThere is nothing wrong with you. It doesn't matter where you are from. But, my advice is to just leave it a fantasy even if she might feel that way too. It always leads to jealousy. Why is she enjoying him or her so much? Why does she want to be with that person more than me right now? These are questions that go through your mind as well as hers too. It starts arguments that only get worse. I'm not saying it never works, but I believe most people who succesfully live this way started out with a very extremely open relationship from the start. Just don't do it, guy, and maybe work on making each other happier in other ways.

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