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I want a baby but im only 14 years old!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2007) 79 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Please help me! I want a baby but im only 14 years old! My boyfriend is 16 and we want to be parents already! I feel ready for some reason! What shall i do!!??? Please please help me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010):

i seriously want a baby to, i am single but have chose names, Sofia for a girl and Harvey or Oliver for a boy, i despretly want one, but i dont want to tell anyone because im scared, im 14 to, and just want to be older to have one

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010):

U don't want a baby, im 14 and i've been pregnant for 7 months, im known as preggers in my school, my friends are distant, and my parents are pissed. I had to get a job, because I refuse to give it up. The dad broke up with me and wont help at all. Wait until your 20 you are not ready to start an all new difficult life at age 14 please, please, please dont have a baby.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010):

i am 14 and i felt the same too and so did my now ex botfriend but i realised you will miss out on the best years of your life. think about it the prom, school, drinking at parties. you dont want to be tied down at that age and if you do want a family you need a job which means you need an education. and does your boyfriend really know what he is getting into. he might not be the one and as soon as you are single with a baby your sex life literally dies. think about it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010):

I know exactly how you feel. When I watch 16 and Pregnant, I get insanely jealous. Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a mom. I feel like that's the only thing I really want out of life. You know how people will sometimes stand in front of a mirror making themselves looking skinnier than they are? Well, I stick out my stomach and make it look like I'm pregnant, and when I stop sticking it out, it makes me sad. I'm only 14, and I've decided that as much as I want a baby, I'm going to wait until I'm 16. I know that for a lot of people on here that read this will think it's because I want to have sex. I really don't care about that. I honestly don't care if I die a virgin as long as I have children. I really can relate to you, and I know that people saying for you to wait isn't what you want to hear, but you should wait, at least until you're old enough to have a license and a job and until you have some extra money saved up. You also have to consider things like, how will you pay hospital bills, how will you take care of the baby if you're still in school, and so many other things. The only thing that's keeping me from having one soon is because I know that my family would be the one paying, and that's unfair to them.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010):

You may think your ready but your not... you wont be able to hang out with friend,you cant go to partys before you evan think about doing anything watch 16 & pregnant and Teen mom those will make you think twice

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010):

I'm in this situation. Me and my boyfriend have had sex and I'm going to take a pregnancy test tomorrow. I hate feeling older than I am. (I'm 14 as well) Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we know we'll be together forever. I dont think wanting a baby is a bad thing. If you can support it and care for it without a problem, go for it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010):

hi, i am also 14 years old and i want a baby to, i think you should only try for a baby if you can support it when he/she arrives . its not fair on the child if it gets braught into this world and has a shit life because your not ready to support it so i hope you make the right choice and good luck :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010):

hi, im only 14 and have recently had a baby boy, my boyfriend said he was going to help and support us and it seemed like he really wanted a baby too. we thought we were ready because we had been together 6 years,and when i did get pregant he was amazing and really supportive but about 6 months into the pregnany he left and said he couldnt cope with a baby. please think about it first its really not easy, i wouldn't change anything about alfie apart from waiting about 2 more years. i hope this helps :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010):

Hi, im 19 years old and personally i still think i am too young to have a baby. My best mate got pregnant at 15 and it isnt easy, she is now 18 and her toddler is nearly 3. As much as i love my best mate and her daughter she was too young to have her. ENJOY your life, have fun with ur mates, hanging around and stuff, cuz if u have a baby all that will change, get your GCSEs and a good job then yes by all means consider it, but not yet, your to young dear.

Hope this helps :) x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):

hi, i know you think you're ready for this, but honnestly there is probably so much on your plate right know and although a baby sounds like just what you need, why not sort out everything else first?

get some good GCSE's so you can get a good job, make sure you boyfriend would support you and your baby and speak to your parents about it.

wish you the best in whatever you choose x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):

Hi, i'm 14 myself and I have a 4 week old baby, and trust me, its not easy. Your still only a child yourself, you've got alot of other stuff you could be doing like going out with friends, instead of staying in every night looking after your little one. Get your GCSE's first and a job so you can look after your child properly instead of depending on your parents. Dont get me wrong, I love my baby girl to pieces but I would of rathered to wait a couple more years so I could grow up and act like 14 year olds. Babies are not just toys to cuddle up and play with, they are human being's that need looking after and they are a big responsibiliy.

I hope this has helped.

Good luck with what ever decision you make..

Jessica and Baby Chelsie. xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010):

hi, i had a baby when i was fourteen (two years ago)and its not easy, me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 12 and had always talked about having kids when we were older. everything about having a baby is hard when your pregnant theres certain things you cant eat and you need to start taking vitamins, then theres sleepless nights and teething, you might think your ready for it but your not. my parents werent undestanding either and youl have to leave school and grow up far to fast,if i had the chance to change it all i would just so long as i could have my son the exact same baby boy when i was ready for parenthood. and as much as you boyfriend thinks he can cope he cant they lose patience.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010):

Hi dont be a mum at 14years my frends mum had my bestfriend when she was 15 and it was very hard for her my frineds mum is 29 and my friend is 12 dont have a baby at 14 because it will ruin your life.You are only a child yourself

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010):

sorry i kno this isnt an answer but people please give advice because i'm in the same situation!!! x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010):

Well you should speak to your parents first.......and you are very young. If i was your mother i'd tell you to wait because it may mess with your education. In my high school years i did not have sex until mirage. And now i have 3 children, children are blessings .......and you are still a child

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010):

i think that you should just wait for a couple of years untill your ready and it will go fast x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010):

Look, I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 16, we want kids and stuff but we're going to wait until we both have jobs and we have a house, that way we can provide for our future child properly and give it everything it needs. I do really want to be a mum, I love kids and so does he, but we're willing to wait so that we can give our baby the best quality of life possible. I'm still a virgin too, we aren't going to have sex until I'm 16 or even later, until we're both ready because we aren't really ready right now, there's no point tyring to rush these things.

Don't do anything stupid.

x

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A female reader, milf Gibraltar +, writes (15 February 2010):

Look, i am 16 years old. My boyfriend is 19 and we have an 8 week old baby. We have beeen together for 3 years. Im saying this truthfully, me and my boyfriend tried for a baby as we found it kinky during sex to talk about. After 3 months i fell pregnant. I never once thought about the cost of having a baby. I lost all my friends and my best friend in the whole word. She was like my twin sister. I loved going out and getting drunk and stoned and now i wont do that and i cant as i have to look after my son. I refuse to ask my mum to babysit because at the end of the day i knew what i was getting myself into. He is my responsibility and noone elses..apart from my boyfriend. He works 7 days a week and brings home £170..£40 goes to my mother as we live with her and once we go to morrisons and buy baby milk, and nappies and wipes and infacol (for babies with colic) and medicines for colds blocked noses etc and food for the week...AND BUS FARES LOL...we are lucky if we have £20..and what if my son has a growth spurt...ive had to buy clothes last minute as they simply are too small.. PLUS TEETHING TOYS AND GEL..DUMMIES..NAPPY RASH CREAM!!..And what if i need clothes? Because i was a UK size 8 and after pregnancy size 14 so i had to buy new clothes, because your so busy with baby that you dont go out and exercise! Its kinda depressing really. Im not saying i regret having my son because he is the best thing in the world. Hes a beautiful perfect boy. But its hard and tiring..and dont get me started about getting up at night with a screaming baby. Broken sleep is the worst. Things will get better in time but please do research etc before deciding. Im not going against or taking sides but its a big responsibility and it is a lovely job, theres lots of upsides because i love waking up with him next to me. Just think...hope this helps :) xxxxxxxx

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A female reader, SkylerSky United States +, writes (21 December 2009):

ok this is two years from when u posted this but ima goin to answer this for others. i had my baby girl when i was 13. some many think i am a slut, but i was raped. the guy was sent to jail and all and i kept the baby. her name is Jena Vada. i had to raise her wit my mother who worked her a** off. god bless her. i dropped from school before i could make it to high school. it was really ruff and trust me it was and still is a huge responsibility tht no 14 year old wants to or should have. please really think it through before you have unprotected sex. once ur pregnet there is no turning back.

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A female reader, 19queen United Kingdom +, writes (5 December 2009):

19queen agony aunti am 13 and i feel thesame way as you. i just feel like i need somthing to lve and someone who really loves me back. okay sure my mum and dad and brother and sister love me be i am not closerto any of them and i know exatlyhowi would bring my kid up and i have even been search somebaby name and looking at cloths and prams and cots onle and working out how much i wwould need to work to save upf ri it all, sad i know. but just message me and tell me how you are getting on and everything, coz i think i you are one of the few people who undertsnads me.

xxxxxxxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009):

Sex at 14 is illegal and if it wasnt are you sure because im the same im 14 and i want a child. Im dying for one but think about your education. You might want to think about getting your grades first you know get settled your own house then get a job so you have got money to get things for the baby so ask yourself something should i have the baby yet or not. please for you, your boyfriends and the babies sake get yourself settled, happy and probably married.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009):

Ok listen im 28 and i have a child that is insanely cute and loving but DO NOT HAVE A BABY. trust me u r not ready for that kind of responsibility, i dont think anyone really knows what they are walking in to when they have a child. I know i didnt. Please wait, youll deeply regret throghing away your life and your friends just because you want a child. You have the rest of your life for that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009):

hi im nearly 17 and recently lost my first baby girl when I was 3 months. I didnt want a baby and I was so scared but now that I no how amazing it felt and how happy I was I want to have another baby please help

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A female reader, Tridagreek United States +, writes (19 September 2009):

I'm 14 too so I kinda have an idea of where your coming from but, I really don't think it's a good idea, because as u grow, u change and in the future who's knows, you guys might hate each other( I hope not but I could happen). Also, as you get older you may find someone new. I'm not saying that having this relationship is bad because it's not, I think it's great, But having a baby at ur age isn't a good idea. Wait a few years, and if you guys feel the same way when your both 18 years old or so than go for it, but I personly think girls our age should not have babies! We have our whole lives ahead of us! Hope this helps

-Tri

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009):

Honestly, you would be a lot happier if you waited. You could get an education, get a job, and be a lot more prepared. I know it sounds fun, but it is VERY tiring. What would they do when they were 5 and they had to say 'my mom is 19'. That would be very strange... And you would have to be chasing around a two year old while you were a senior in high school, unless you choose to drop out.

Good luck.

(oh jeez, I just now realized that it was written two years ago... oh well, pretend I wrote this in 2007)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

I have to say that you may feel ready but your not I am 20 and I am more ready than you in so many ways but I am not ready as much as I wish I was I am not ready to provide for a child, not just as a baby, but forever. I have to tell you that the feeling you have is normal girls are conditioned growing up to be "mommies' and esp since you are growing up you are feeling that more and more. You need to get an education and a career first. As much as you dont want to hear this...chances are, you will not be with your current boyfriend for the rest of your life. You also have to consider what he plans on doing with his life. He also might be wanting to have a baby to secure his relationship with you and you may feel that way as well but believe me it will only make it worse. Another thing to consider is that you should be complete before you have a baby a guy nor a baby completes you. You need to find yourself first your going to be a completely different person in a year and in three years and in ten. You will have so many more life changing experiences that you need to go thru before bringing a child into this world. Pls consider the reality and not make HUGE decisions based on feelings.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009):

hey! Im 13, going on 14 in a couple of days and im experiencing the exact same problems. I really want a baby and feel I could cope with the sleepless nights, nappy changing etc etc. But could I? How would you tell your parents? How would you go to school when theres a baby to look out for?

Id love to walk down the highstreet with a pram and take my baby to the park with me and my friends, but I know that having a baby isnt all fun and games. Im not judging you but my advice is to think your choice over very very carefully. Think of all the pain, losing friends and family maybe? Being tired, having not enough money, splitting up with your boyfriend, single parenthood? So many decisions and were so young.

Personally, im going to wait till ive finished school and been clubbing in ibiza! but whatever choice you make, I wish you the v.best, good luck :-)

adios 3

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009):

please i beg u to wait i am a young parent of two kids and it is the most difficult job and the most important job you will ever have. You urselves are still children. i understand the need to have someone around that will love u 4ever and unconditionally but you should finish school go to college and then think about marraige and kids. You may think u will be with your boyfriend 4ever but as you get older your tastes and wants will change. give urself a chance before you take on someone else. a human baby is the most vaunerable mammals and fully relys for its care from its parents. Plus my mom had me at a really young age and thought she would be together with my dad 4ever but they got divorced because when she got older her wants changed and i was left in ruin bc of the seperation of my parents.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2009):

hey, i know exactly where your coming from, im in the same position .. but i sat down and thought to myself that at 14 theres remote chance of me staying with the same boy for the rest of my life.. i dont mean to put doubt on your relationship but honestly would you like to bring your child into a world where it doesn't have both parent, it also raises the fact of your boyfriend having sex with you illegaly not that theres anything wrong with that in my point of view, but its still a probelm, and just remind yourself of the sleepless nights, no money, no freedom.. sure your give your baby love and probely all it needs but its hard and a baby cant eat drink or wear love so its just not enough,

think about it seriously,

it puts a huge strain on a relationship..

and you may get baby blues, or the daddy could get cold feet,

whatever your decision i wish you all the best,

take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009):

not being funny, but i am 18 and a single mum and i find it hard! so i cant understand how others younger than me cope (well done).

i dont regret having my son at all but i do regret having him at this age. i didnt finish education,i dont have time to myself,i dont have any spare money not to mention your body at 14 is not ready for a baby!

obviously the choice is up to you...but think so carefully about it it WILL change your whole life

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A female reader, kayw_88 United Kingdom +, writes (31 March 2009):

i am 20 and had a baby when i was 14, im tellin u know its not easy, me and my babys dad were 2gether 4 a year and happy but as soon as i found i was pregnant he didnt want 2 know, i was lucky i had a good supporting family but its hard 2 tell ya parenants something like that, now my daughter is nearly 6 and i would change her 4 the world but i look at her and think 1 day she might come 2 me and say she is pregnant at a young age and i know it wouldnt feel nice 2 see my little girl go thru that, now i see wot my parents must have gone theu, dont just think about yaself when i say u want a baby at 14, coz u wont get any benefits apart from child benefit £20 a week which will not feed, clothe, and every thing else a baby needs, i was 14 and my parents had 2 pay 4 it all and that is so unfair on your parents that brought u up and 1 day wanted 2 see u bring your kids up but not by their expensive, i cant judge i done it myself, but please just think b4 u go ahead and do it, wait till u got a job and some money behind u and def a bloke u can trust i thought i could trust my b/f but turned out i couldnt most boys that age freak out although my daughter sees her dad now he wasent there thru the hard bits !!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008):

I am 15 and have a friend who has had three abortions from the same guy. I am still a virgan and am proud to be one. I am not even in a serious relationship and it doesn't matter to me. I want to live life to the fullest before I plan on having sex or getting pregnant. Life is way too long for you to be thinking about having a baby at 14. Do what you want but if you want to give your child the best life possible wait till your life is steady and you can afford your baby. If you won't think about yourself think about the baby. :)

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A female reader, AlexBabess United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2008):

Hiiaa

i wanted a baby to at 13 now nearly 6 months pregnant and im 13 ! believe me its hard. telling your parents, getting things ready, going for scans & dealing with people at school ! im happy that im having my little boy but knowing what i know now i would of waited till i was at least 20! the money is also a problem because my babys dad did a runner on me when i told him i was having a baby even thow he said he would like a baby because he was 23 and he said he would support me but obviously he was lying! please just wait !

From alex & baby boy x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

hiyaa im 16 years old and my best friend is nearly 6 months pregnant! not only do you have to think about when the baby is born! the pregnancy is very hard as im with my friend almost 24/7! she is always been sick and is tired very easily, she is coverd in stretch marks and is finding life hard! she obviously has got another 3 months to go of it then she has to face the labour. i would seriously think before anyone makes any choices because i was desperatly wanting a baby but now seeing my mate finding it difficult it has made me realise that im not ready for it yet. anyways good luck to all your decisions but just have a long hard think before you rush into things! you have your whole lives ahead to settle down and have children, just think when you are 18 and are ready to hit the town! lots ov love anyways xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008):

you may really want one now...but you really should think about it!!cause you might regret it as soon as you have a baby...(this happened to my friend and she regrets it now)

i know this is not a satisfying answer but you really should think about it...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008):

Im laughin at the cheeky sods answerin to this girl.

Right im fourteen will be 15 in two months, my boyfriend and i have been having sex and hes 17. If no one reports the male he will not get in to trouble. Its normal for mature girls at 13+ to feel they want a baby. A girl the same age as me has recently gone through with an abortion.

I know what this girl feels like, id kill for a baby girl to call my own. I know what these girls my age are going through, i understand, girls you should do what ever you have to. I love sex my self, and one day i will get pregnant, iv got a boyfriend who i love and trust, and i know he would stick by me all the way, so girls, just make sure you have a worthy partner before you even think about getting preganant xxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008):

look i know how you feel. i am 13 and goin on 14 in july! i desire to have a baby now to but i know that my parents would kill me. if you can your boyfriend truly love each other and realy want a child wait till your older. im 18 is a better age to have your first baby. now im not telling you to get pregant at 18 but really think how this is gonna effect your life. your gonna have to drop out of school. and what if your parents want you to get rid of the baby. these are few of the many things that you need to consider.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008):

Dont worry, i want a baby too and im 14. But it scares me because my friend recently was pregnant and something happened 2 months before the due date and she had her baby and 30 minutes later he died and she was in terrible condition in the hospital. i know how you feel but at least wait it out 4 more years until your 18.

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A female reader, charlene78 United Kingdom +, writes (17 February 2008):

OMG you are 14 and want a child already. lemme give you some advice, you want your boyfriend to get in trouble?? doubt it as if he is 16 and you are 14 he is having sex with you illegally as the legal age to have sex is 16! think this through very carefully, you are 14 with your whole life ahead of you! can you give the child your full attention as at the age of 14 i wanted to be out with me mates and having ufn, if you have a child then you have to consider babysitters ect. sleepless nights, expense..i.e nappies are not cheap.

just grow up a bit before you think about children as it is only a phase

good luck chuck xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008):

dont be daft you are only 14 and a child yourself. plus if you get pregnant at 14 by a 16 year old male he could get in trouble as legal age to have sex is 16, just thik about it, you have your whole life ahead of you to start planning a family. live your life and maybe reconsider when your a little more grown up

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008):

hey im 16 and really would like a baby aswell a year ago i wentthrough an abortion with my boyfriend at that time i hadnt finished my Gcses and my parents were so angry at me but ever since i had regreted that decision i really would like to be a parent its not wrong to feel like that at this age im sure theres more that do talk to your boyfriend and access your situation you need to plan and think carefully so that if you do you are ready to give your miricle the best upbringing

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008):

hi,i know how you feel.i am 16 and i have a 3 week old baby girl who i love dearly...i love every minute of it...now im not telling you to go out and get pregnant...its NOT easy having to wake up every 2 to 3 hours its not easy...you have to worry about a babysitter but i prefer not to ask anyone because she is MY daughter not my parents...though they help me and i am very thankful...giving birth HURTS you body is not yet developed at 16 let alone 14; there are so many thing you have to worry about like birth defects how will you take care of a baby with special needs when your still a child yourself...if ever you need to talk feel free to e-mail me at [email address blocked]

good luck

Alana and Baby Olivia

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008):

My Word Of Advice .. Dont Make The Mistake That Young Teens Do .... i can totally see from where you are coming fromand all .. but if i wanted to have a baby at 14 ... i dont think that mentaly i woudlnt be able to cope ........ having a baby is a life time comitmet .. and seeign though as you are only 14 .. that would mean that you would mess uo your future ... you wouldnt b able to do kids things ... and like you would have to skip the most important times in school ...

honestly i think that you should wait untill like your 16 or 17 ... trust me babe .. i think that it would be the best solution ... but if u think that you are truly decacated and you are sure about it then just be careful ......

i hope this helps xxx

you know how to contact me if you need 2 talk bout anything

take care xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008):

I understand where your coming from.

I myself am only 14 years old. I have been babysitting since i was 10, almost 12 hours a day sometimes, kids are great and wonderful to be around. I really want a baby, sometimes I talk about it to my boyfriend, but he still thinks staying protected is the right thing to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008):

i know how you feel but i would wait because when your older you wont be able to do what you want to do like go to partys clubs your whole life will change

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008):

I completely know how you feel. I will be turning 15 in March, and I have dreamed of a baby as well! All I can say, is that things happen for a reason. And if you are destined to be a parent at this age....Then it will Happen! It wont matter what anyone thinks. If they care about you that much, then they will understand, and accept your feelings and actions about the situation.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007):

hey...i feel the same way..im 14 too, and ive wanted one since i was 11 or 12...i know that im too young and im not planning on having a baby for a while..but i say if ur ready go for it...i no some people would disagree but thats just how i see things...xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

Hey Babes.

I know how you feel as i am 15, almost 16 in 3 months and i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years.. We live far apart from each other and only get to see each other every month and it is hard.. I really want a baby too, I can surport it in everyway as i have a job witch pays really well for a 15 year old.. My parents would be dispointed but still would suport me and my boyfriends parents proberaly would want me to get rid of it.. But your to young babes! Your only 14!

You need to surport it.. You can't just want one and when the going gets tough bail out. I plan to 'concieve' at Christmas.. I know i can give the baby everything it needs.. You need to make sure that you can to xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

Hi, I am now 22 and have a son who is almost 3. Yes I am very happy to be his mommy but I am a single mom and it gets really hard. I thought I was ready when I was 18 and met a guy I loved. I was with him for a year and we wound up seperating. I found out 3 weeks later that I was pregnant....I was so happy cause I thought I was ready and scared at the same time.

I am now stuggling to get a job, go to school and raise my son.

I would suggest like so many of these other ladies, that you wait. Baby sit...I got to baby sit evey day for almost 3 months....I decided when I was 16 I wasnt ready..I wanted to hang out with friends.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007):

Don't try to have a baby before you're old enough to care for a puppy by yourself. (And "taking care of it" includes paying for everything from the shots to the chew-toys to the collar to the food.)

Try babysitting a few young children (the younger the better and only babies who are still in diapers count). You'll be through with the idea of a baby within a few hours.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

you need to wise up and do some reading on what it actually means to be a parent instead of having these fantasies of cuddling a cute little baby.

Babies grow into toddlers, kids, teenagers, adults... They arent just a cute little doll for trying out different outfits.

How can you be ready... you wont have your own house, a job, car, any money of your own... Wise up, finish school, grow up.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

hi hunny. i know how u feel. im 16 now but ive wanted a baby since i was 11. i dont know what it is but ive always felt like i need something which i can have just a special bond with because ive never had that. i need something that depends on me and that i can love unconditionally and i think im just a really maternal person. it sounds really selfish i know but i know i could make a good mum and my baby would always be happy and well looked after. i think u should probably wait, definatly untill uv done ur GCSEs and then see how u feel. because you could change ur mind and decide u dont want a baby untill ur older and then feel trapped. i think just be happy with what you've got for the meantime. ur really lucky uv found someone who you love an trust at ur age. ur definatly in a better situation than i was. i started sleeping around unprotected at 12 and it definatly was a bad idea. ive just always had trust and depression issues and didnt really make things better for myself. dont make my mistakes. let urself grow up first. hope i helped xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007):

I think as you are only 14 you wouldn't have the true responsibilities that a baby would need to be looked after properly. have you spoken to any one else about how you feel, like yours or his parents? becuase if your serious you need to know things like where your going to live and how much money you have or would be earning. also you need to concentrate on your school work at the minute. if you wait i think it would turn out for the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007):

I know just how you feel. im 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and we want a baby too, and we are trying. I just say go for it if you feel both of you are truly ready and have a plan. Good Luck and follow your heart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007):

Im am nearly 20 and have wanted a baby sice the age of 17. I have been with my partner for 6 years now and we love each other dearly. We have had problems and come threw them stronger than ever. My partner is the most loving and supporting partner i could have ever wished for. I have 11 GCSE'S and we have both been in work since we have left school. We have been renting a place for a year.

My body is screaming out for a baby and it is constantly on my mind. I feel that i can't have a baby due to people judging me. I would love and care for my baby more than anything in the world. But for all the young women out there who wants a baby young, try and hold out for aslong as you can. Dont get stressed or depressed about it just feel excited knowing that one day its going to happen. Thats what keeps me going. I've felt like this for so long now that i think in the next 2 years me and my partner will start trying.

Just do what your heart tells you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007):

i no how you feel dont worry i have wanted one since i have been ur age n i still do i am now 16 and i am really broody and want a baby desperately i feel my life would be complete with a baby x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

dont be silly, you're still a baby yourself

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007):

Even though you feel you are ready you certainly are not!you are in between the age when there isnt much to do!! this phase will pass... as soon as you turn 18 you will be ready for nothing exept going out with your friends. when i was that age i felt the very same. it is different having a baby to minging your little brother or sister this would be your responsibility. dont forget you have to be 16 to work so dont be selfish and only think of yourself you would need to provide for this child!! i am now 22 and have a beautiful healthy baby megan that is now 3 weeks old. i am so glad i waited i have evewrything! LOVE aSh!!! xX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007):

Even though you feel you are ready you certainly are not!you are in between the age when there isnt much to do!! this phase will pass... as soon as you turn 18 you will be ready for nothing exept going out with your friends. when i was that age i felt the very same. it is different having a baby to minging your little brother or sister this would be your responsibility. dont forget you have to be 16 to work so dont be selfish and only think of yourself you would need to provide for this child!! i am now 22 and have a beautiful healthy baby megan that is now 3 weeks old. i am so glad i waited i have evewrything! LOVE aSh!!! xX

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007):

Hii I know how you feel, im 14 too and have always wanted a baby but what you need to think about is if you did have a baby how are you going to support it? as in money wise, even though i have no experience in having children i realise that it is a hard thing to do, bring up a child.

Your only 14 wait till you finish school get the qualifications and job you want and THEN think of having children.

Because its not only you that will suffer having a baby that young but the baby too...I totally understand how you feel but you need to think about what you'll be getting yourself into.

I hope iv helped =]

First time ive done this

xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007):

its ok do what you think is right and think very hard.....i too am also 14 years of age with a 16almost 17 year old boyfriend and we have thought about how we want to be parents now and not wait because today as the world is developing who knows how long we will have left so we are planning too. so please as i give you this advise think about what will happen if you do decied to have a child how will your parents react ,what about school,what about your dreams,and do you guys love each other as much as you think you do...even will he be there by your side and if you guys lie to each other........JUST THINK

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007):

hi, i am only 15 and i would like a baby, i was raped not that long ago and i dont feel like i have a pupose in life anymore. for me to have a baby would be amazing i would have someone to love and someone would love me . i would feel wanted and loved and that would me alot to me you do what you feel is best but 14 is still abit to young. i am 16 in october and i feel like i am at the stage were i am ready to

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A female reader, katrinadeon United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2007):

katrinadeon agony auntid just lke to comment on what one anonymous writer put about 18 year olds only having babies so they dont have to work. what i would like to say is please dont tar everyone with the same brush. it really upsets me. yes there are some people out there who think having a baby young gives them all the things that appeals to them ie,free flat benefits etc but not all young mums are like that i was working even while i was doing my gcses the day i hit 16 i was aranging a job interview and i always had summer jobs and weekend jobs when i wasnt old enough to be employed properly.i know there are girls out there who are having babies like they are fashion accessories but we are not all like that. a lot of things have happened in my life so i matured sooner than i had to. so please dont judge everyone by the standards of some petty minded individuals

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2007):

Ok I was in your shoes but I was a little older...I was 18. But I thought I was so ready to be a mommy. So I ended up getting pregnant the last semester of my senior year. I was thrilled until prom came around and everyone was out with thier boyfriends drinking and having a good time and there I was 3 months pregnant. Then graduation came along and I had to walk across the stage with a little belly and I couldnt even celebrate afterward. Now I am married to my daughters father and we fight constantly, mostly about the baby. I never get any time to myself and I have never had the experiences others my age have. I think you should wait...life has so much to offer you. You are young and you have alot of life ahead of you and plenty of years to be a mommy. Besides that I am sure you are not financially suited to take care of a baby...it is very costly.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

I just want to say: "ENJOY YOUR LIFE, BECAUSE LIFE IS VERY SHORT". I'm 28 years old and have just 1 daughter of 2 years. The first years were very good. Now she is 2, I can really say that it is not an easy job. Sometimes I want to go out, and it is not always easy, because there is no babysitter. Trust me, you want the baby now, but within 1 or 2 years, you will remember that you are young and still want to enjoy life and hang out!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

Don't even think about trying for a baby with your boyfriend. The last thing you need is to be a single mother (there's a huge chance that you won't be with your boyfriend once you are a mother and he lets his eye wonder on childless teenagers) with your GCSEs ruined because of a responsibility of a baby. A baby might seem like a toy to you but they are not. A baby needs looking after 24/7, how are you going to be able to do that when you are at school? Plus they cry when you don't want them to, need feeding and need their nappy changing. Too much for a 14 years old. So wait until you find the man of your dreams and settle down with a good job before you plan to have babies. Don't ruin your life by becoming a teenage mum.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (26 April 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntHi sweetness,

I totally understand the feeling of wanting to have a baby. As other aunts have told you, you really are too young and a baby will do a toll on your body (you'll never have the figure you have now again) and a baby is EXPENSIVE! I think they've all done a good job explaining the consequences to you....

When I was younger, around your age, I started to want babies. I knew that it wasn't a great idea, so I got a big plastic bin. I started to buy baby clothes and toys and things for my future babies... I bought a journal and wrote notes to my future babies too. It really helped the urge! This way, you'll have lots of baby items for when you're older and ready to have kids. You'll thank yourself a million times over, I promise.

Maybe buy yourself a rabbit or chinchilla or a hamster - something fuzzy and cute... name it what you would name a baby. For me, I am really excited about picking out names for my future baby. Dorky, yes, but hey.

Anyhow, try it on for size... it really does help, believe me. Wait until you can really appreciate your child and give them everything they deserve in life. And, try to make your life as exciting as you can so that when your child is older, you'll have lots of stories to tell them about when you were younger and free! Life experience is a parent's best friend.

Good luck, sweetness.

xxIndia

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

Listen, I just finished writting a term paper on teen pregnacy!!! your body is no where near ready to be having a child. not to metion you cannot support this child financially!! you are 14 and it isn't healthy for you to have a child at such a young age!! if you two really are in love then yall can both wait until you are out of high school and college to have a child!!!! DON'T GET PREGNANT!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

i have exactly the same issue as u i think its mostly because we love and trust our partners enough to go this far with them but i do think you should hold bak a couple of years to make sure your absolutley ready...well thats what me and my partner decided and everything is going fine and we still talk about it now and again. i dont really know if i helped lol soz if i didn but im tired of all the grown ups on here saying something when they dont understand how it actaully feels ty xxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

You need educating! Your still very very young for children! I can't beleive a 14 year old wants children! I see so many girls around my age [18] who were at my school aready pregnant and I think its just pathetic! Its so they don't have to work! And can just look after a kid ! Its pathetic!

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A male reader, lboy United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2007):

lboy agony auntDear Reader,

i know this might not be what you want to hear but i really dont think that you should have a baby at your current age for starters you are too young legally, and you should be getting ready for your GCSE's anytime soon. but if you really have your heart set on this baby then i want to ask you a few questions: 1. how are you gonna pay for this baby? 2.you may be ready for a baby but are your really ready to have a teenager on your hands because trust me that is what it will soon become? 3. have you ever thought about what you are going to do, i mean job wise? you will have to get a part timer and spend all your free time with your child, and what if the father ups and runs away how are you goin to cope with that i may only be one year older than you but please trust me when i say that i am pretty sure that you have not thought this through.

please make the right choice.

good luck

lboy

xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

i know how it feels i was in the same position as you but your still to young. wait a couple more years and then you will be ready. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

This si from a personal note. I was 17 when i had my first child. Im 28 now with 3 kids (twins) and i regret having my oldest at 17. I lover my daughters very much but givin a choice id wait it out for a few more years. The other woman on here who has a good carrer n is stable should be happy she dotn lose her job! No job is stable nowdays! I missed soo much growing up and now 11 years later the only thing i do know is motherhood, i mean i have no sence of idenity aside from it. Im a single parent and i have very little time for a social life let alone a man who will stick by me. And what i lost was my freedom and most of my friends cuz they went off to college or got jobs after highschool, me i did homeschooling and never,never slept. At 14 n 16 what you want will change many times. Its rare but i know couples that have stayed together since they were your age. What im saying is get atlest your education. Trust me you will have many years of concieveing ahead, please try to "live your life" before you go down this long, lonely road. A baby is'nt all fun n cuddly (althou i like to think they are, if you breast feed your up every 30min or so nad formuls feed is about every 2hrs not to mention heating a bottle takes time, that a baby isnt willing to wait for. I babysat before concieving and its so way different when its your baby. So much you can do with your life. Im not saying wait till you have the perfect job and marriage cuz those things can be takin away from you fast. I am saying is to get your education first n have fun then when you feel your ready to commit to the rest of your life to putting yourself dead last then , n only then concieve.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (26 April 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou may feel you are ready but your body isn't. You haven't fully developed at 14. Chances for a complicated pregnancy are huge at such a young age. Why take the chance when you have all the time in the world to have a baby?

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A female reader, katrinadeon United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2007):

katrinadeon agony aunthi im 19 and have an 18 month old daughter, i was 17 when i gave birth. my partner is 22 and in full time employent as a electrician so he has a good wage coming in. weve been together for 3 years. i too wanted a baby from extremely young age (about 12) although i love my daughter to bits i do wish that i had waited few years. although at the time when i was pregnant and all my family were saying i was stupid and throwing my life away,i didnt listen i thought i knew best i kept thinking how can you possibly know how i feel? i want this baby more than anything i am ready...but when it comes down to it as much as i love being a parent i realise now that there are things id love to do that i never will be able to like go on holiday and foret about everything and just have a good time, or go for anight out withought worrying if my daughter is ok.or go to college etc.. yes you can get family to babysit ocasionaly but you are never care free being a parent takes over your whole life emotionally, physically and mentally. please just enjoy your youth i cant stress that enough. get a great education and have fun. maybe get a puppy i know that sounds weird but they are almost as much work as a baby and just as affectionate and dependant on you.im talking from experience so just enjoy your life and when you ar older and more settled then think about starting a family. you will be so glad you waited trust me. xx

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2007):

DrPsych agony auntI am writing to you on a personal and professional level. I have recently discovered I am pregnant but I am 35 and we can afford to have children! I wasn't in a career or financial position to have children before with any degree of comfort. Money isn't everything but it sure helps because bringing up kids on welfare payments is a terrible struggle. At a professional level, I have worked with many young women who for a variety of reasons have found themselves to be mothers very early on. Parenthood can be rewarding but it is very hard work too. Teenage parenthood is associated with poorer outcomes for children and their parents - it usually means a life of poverty. It also means that you cannot have the freedom to grow up and enjoy your teens and 20's - see the world, go out with friends and have a life. Sometimes teenage mothers say they had babies early to try to compensate for something lacking in their own family backgrounds. It is, of course, not the solution and from the age of 14 to your 20's you will mature and become a very different person. Your 16 year old boyfriend cannot possibly support a baby - I don't need to tell you that even if he is lucky enough to find a job then it won't be very well-paid at that age...what about accommodation, food and all those expenses? There is nothing wrong with having children or aspirations to have them, but if you really want to be a good parent then you should wait a while until you are old enough to provide the essentials for a happy childhood rather than just scraping and getting by.

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A female reader, XXpussycatXX United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2007):

hya hun

you may feel ready but your still young you got your life still ahead of you it not a doll it a human being you will have a responsibility and you just cant pass it on on and on it wont be fair to the baby

and there is your education to think about and you wouldnt afford nappies clothes etc

sit down and think what you will be missing out on

hope this helps

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A female reader, Pork Hock Canada +, writes (26 April 2007):

I am going to give you some advice and not because of how old you are. My friend's parents had her at 14 and they went onto have another child together and eventually got married. My friend was so embarrassed by her parents all her life, even at 21, because they were only 14 years older than her. I remember this young man coming to my door to drop her off for a night out and I asked if he was her brother. Her parents were regarded as free-loaders, sluts, and everyone expected them to fail. She too was treated like she would do the same, so most of the lads in her estate just wanted to see how far she would go.

I asked her what it was like growing up with teenage parents and she said it had made her completely against committment, she didn't want children, etc marriage despite her parents sticking together.

She said she grew up with people talking about her parents, even kids her own age because their parents told her friends or whatever at school. I know that teenage pregnancies is not uncommon and I do know a lot of teenagers who would be better parents than some parents I know -I mean that. Forget about a social life, hanging out together, seeing your friends, chatting on the phone, going or having a drink. The sleep deprivation alone is terrible. I had a terrible time breast feeding, even though my daughter was a good baby. I had a supportive husband at the time who would walk around her room with her just rocking her for 3 hours so I could sleep, then he'd go to work. You also find you have nothing in common with your once best friends. They all have other lives that become so different from yours and you end up being resentful and jealous and doing impulsive things. I used to shower and get dressed at 4 pm every day and I never had a full meal or a hot cup of tea for months. If your boyfriend is planning on working, be prepared for long lonely days and being absolutely exhausted. You also can't ever expect someone else to do your job, it is a lifetime committment and extremely demanding but extremely satisfying if you are financially stable, emotionally stable and have a very good supportive family. Apart from wanting a baby, have you ever wanted anything else, or had any kind of dream you wanted to do? I will help you if you want find out information, just tell me what it is. A baby is a lifetime committment and I can't tell you even at 30 what it is like to know that this human being completely relies on you. It can be an incredible pressure. I am divorced by the way. My relationship with my ex was not strong enough and I had been with him for 11 years! Live your life, my Mum had my brother at 45 years old so you have lots of time to make babies, go and travel do something different. This isn't the answer to filling a gap in your lives.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2007):

you want one now but there not all fun and games and either is bein pregnate im 16 and my fiance is 20 we have a 8 month old and im pregnate again i got pregnate back to back and it hurt to have the baby more than you think at the time you want one and between feedings and dipars im always tired and also babys are not cheap i love my daughter and i love my unborn son but i do wish we were abit older, if it wasnt for mine and hes parents i dont think we could of made it plus he works and goes to school but im home all day and i do home studies so it isnt a walk in the park of corse babys are cute but there not always smiling. i say keep this in mind and wait a few years

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