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I waited 2 years for him and now he has a girlfriend and is snubbing and ignoring me!

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2019) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2019)
A female Nigeria age 22-25, *jeoma winifred writes:

hi cupid i saw a guy i felled in love with him i revealed to him that i loved him he asked me to give him time to feel the same way for me that we can still be friends i patiently waited for him for two years but only to find out now that he has a girlfriend probably not just one and now his snubing and ignoring me please i need your advice

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (16 February 2019):

N91 agony auntHe told you 2 years ago he wasn’t interested. Someone telling you they need ‘time’ to develop the same feelings you have is as good as saying ‘sorry, not interested’.

Move on and let this be a lesson not to waste your time on people who don’t reciprocate your feelings.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 February 2019):

Honeypie agony auntJust let him go.

Don't waste your life WAITING on someone to return YOUR feelings. If someone YOU like doesn't feel the same, MOVE ON. There will be someone who WILL like you to the same degree.

Waiting for him was YOUR choice. And as it turned out, not worth the "gamble". All it did was PREVENT you from meeting someone who would be a good fit. Now you know HE isn't the one for you so, CUT all contact. Accept that he has chosen someone else and that YOU need to look elsewhere.

YOU liking this guy SO much doesn't AUTOMATICALLY mean he will like you back or grow to like you. It can happen but it's kind unrealistic to wait for it.

Next time you meet someone you like, take it slow. GET to know the person, and DO NOT profess LOVE until there is an MUTUAL understanding. Love is something that GROWS from knowing someone and knowing someone well.

I don't think this guy is a bad guy, I think he should just have been more UP front with you and cut of contact you YOU didn't WASTE two years pining after him. I think he said:'give me time to like you back" to spare your feelings instead of just being honest and saying :"I just don't LIKE you in that way."

Don't feel bad though, NOW you know. Which leave YOU free to meet someone who CAN and WILL return YOUR feelings.

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (15 February 2019):

YouWish agony auntUnfortunately, he doesn't feel for you what you do for him, but rather than outright tell you, he wussed out and didn't want to hurt your feelings, so he gave you an answer that unfortunately led you on, hoping that you'd "take a hint" rather than him having to be direct and telling you that you're not the one for him.

The best thing you can do is let him go and wait for your heart to drop him. He is not the one for you. He's not interested, and honestly, he doesn't want to be your friend, and it's best that you two are NOT friends anyways. That's just self-torture on your part.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (15 February 2019):

Typo correction:

"He had little choice if you were pushing yourself on him."

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (15 February 2019):

I'm so very sorry. This is a very tough lesson to be learned; but it is a good one while you're still young. Never give-in to crushes and infatuations that force you to put yourself on-hold waiting for any man. If he doesn't want you when you want him; you move on.

You got caught-up in fantasy. Making-believe there was a future, or some hope. You were his lady in-waiting; while he was just preparing himself for you. He wasn't!

Instead, he was just playing with your emotions. He was being cruel. He knew you had feelings for him and just played you along. You were so persistent and infatuated that you held-out; instead of just deciding to give-up and press-on. Pining and waiting. Most people figure it out in a few weeks or months. If you're that determined, you had to learn the hard way.

It's partially your fault. Don't let entitlement drive you to believe you must have someone who doesn't want you. It's a sure way to break your heart. You don't deserve that.

Don't give him anymore power over your feelings. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. If he ignores you, that should give you a boost towards getting over him. It works in your favor, although you won't see that at this very moment. He had little choice is you were pushing your on him. It's not healthy to want anything or any person so badly that you will obsessively wait. Even if it hurts.

Don't let this embitter you or change you. Let it educate you; and remember that you shouldn't wait for anyone. They should be ready, able, and willing at the same time you are.

He's a teardrop in an ocean of men. Get your head together, let your heart heal, and forget about it. He has a girlfriend, and there is absolutely no reason to contact or even look at him anymore.

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A female reader, Ijeoma winifred Nigeria +, writes (15 February 2019):

Ijeoma winifred is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ijeoma winifred agony auntThanks all

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (15 February 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSweetheart, you did not "love" him. Love grows from knowing someone and from sharing life with them, not from finding them attractive physically.

In future, take things slower and don't profess "love" for someone you don't really know. You are just leaving yourself wide open to being used and abused.

This guy does not sound like a nice person. You are worth better.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2019):

Sorry honey. He is not that interested in you. And he should have told you. You don't state if you were in a sexual relationship with this man or not. Now if you were he was only using you until he found some one else. You would be hurting and I'm sorry you have to feel like that. You deserve some one nice. If the guy doesn't treat you well don't waste your time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2019):

Leave him alone and get on with your life. He is not the only man on the planet.

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