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male
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anonymous
writes: dear cupidi am having trouble talking to girls as i cant seem to get my self to talk to them and when i see girlz that i like i turn red and become shy.. is there any solution to this problem, as i have tried everything to put my confidence up but couldnt. plzz help me and any female advice would be great.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 Try doing things in little steps, rather than feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of a full-on conversation, all at once.
For a start, try something like saying "Hi Bianca" as you pass her in the hall. Smile, make eye contact, move on.
Don't worry if you redden a bit; that's cute and girls just love it.
(Insight: 'Bianca' will be thinking, "Oh my god, he said Hi!")
The next day you say hello, or good morning, and add something else like, "You look great today". Smile, make eye contact, blush, move on.
Do it again a third time. Now you're gaining a little confidence.
By the fourth day, 'Bianca' is going to be dying for you to talk to her, so stop by -- let's say between classes -- and have a quick chat. Ask about something you saw, or something she did, or an assignment she has, or any topic you have in common. Smile some more. When things start to get strained, or you start getting embarrassed, say something like "Well, I have to get to class. Can I talk to you later?"
There's a very good chance she'll say Yes to that, which gives you an opening for the next time.
See? Small steps. And taking your time gives you a chance to think about what to say, and when to say it, so you have a little bit more control over the situation.
One last note for your information: Girls giggle. Don't take it personally, because it's not necessarily about you. Girls could giggle at a state funeral; it's just what they do. Remember that. So try not to be put off by it, and you'll be fine.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, hugs2muchgal  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 hey, im a girl and have tons of shy guy friends and i have been able to help a few so hopefully i can help you too. =)
do you have any female friends? if you do, ask if they might be willing to let you practice flirting and dating techniques with them. practice makes perfect you know.
if there arent any girls you are personally close with, i am sure you have guy friends who are more open with women. either follow their example, or practice with a girl they know. for example he shows you what to do with her, and then you try.
personally though, i believe with a little confidence you will have no trouble with girls
besides, many girls (myself included) find guys who are shy, or quiet intriguing. it leaves a mystery and us wanting to see more. shy/ quiet guys are getting harder to find, and i find them the only guys who can keep me interested for more than a few months. also a guy who turns red infront of a girl, it is seen as a compliment to some girls and can flatter them without any extra effort on your part. thats always a plus.
just be yourself, i am sure you are an amazing guy and a wonderful girl will realize how great you are. just be confident in youself, and girls will come flocking.
good luck with the ladies 3
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