A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I began liking this guy (who I see at my bus stop everyday and goes to a different school) in the beginning of Feb and we never speak. A friend gave me his snapchat and we started talking from there and for two people who are shy, we were very comfortable. A few days ago, I found out he has a girlfriend, but he said to my friend "I was speaking to your friend by the way."so my friend obviously knew I like him and she said "oh really? She's never mentioned you to me...she's pretty, right?" And he smiled and said "yeah..she is" the thing is, his girlfriend lives in another part of London so my friend questioned whether he's able to do the long distant relationship and he said "I dont mind." Later on, he said to my friend "I like your friend and if she came a few weeks before, I would've dated her instead, not this one." But he doesn't know I know he likes me. I want to put my feelings on hold and put myself in his girlfriend's shoes because I wouldnt like the idea of someone else liking my boyfriend. What should I do??
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 It doesn't matter if he is lying or not, what matters is he has a girlfriend and you don't want to have a reputation off someone who steals men. Believe me that would stick with you for a long time and not many people would trust you in the future. Ask your friend to stop telling you he likes you as it is disrespectful to his girlfriend and leave it at that.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (10 March 2017):
 Stop thinking about it. If he's lying, you can tell trust him anyway. Either way, what he thinks of you is sadly irrelevant because he's not single.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy friend said to me that he's always talking about me in class because they're partners & that he finally smiles, laughs and talks more than he usually does because apparently he's very silent and doesnt smile at all. She said that he says he was very shy to say hi to me on the bus after we made eye contact and that I'm a nice person and he enjoys our conversations. I wanted to say hi to him the next day, but I froze and didn't even turn around to look at him & I got off the bus. Yesterday, he sent me a photo saying he's going to his girlfriend's house while he was in the store buying sweets for her very late at night. What felt really fishy in that whole time was the fact that his girlfriend lives far from where he lives (which is in my area), but he managed to supposedly "go to her house" and get back home in under 20 minutes. I dont know whether he was lying or not, but something doesn't seem right.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 March 2017):
 It's a good thing that you actually take the time to consider HOW his GF might feel in this kind of situation, but what is MORE important is how YOU feel. Liking him is all good and well, but could you really trust a guy who would say such OBVIOUS lines (even if they were to your friend he knew darned well it could get back to you...)
He has a GF, which for all intent and purpose means YOU are not in the running no matter how pretty etc. YOU are.
So learn NOW to respect other's relationship as you wold LIKE to have your OWN relationship respected.
As for putting feelings on hold, don't.
It's like buying an ice cream and waiting on a rainbow to appear. POINTLESS.
You don't REALLY know him THAT well. You have chatted on snap chat and THAT is really the extent, so I BET you he is 100 times "better" in your head than in reality.
And don't put your LIFE or FEELINGS on hold on something that may never happen. GO on with your life, treat him as a friend and if you can't do that... remove him.
There are millions of other guys out there. Don't get hung up on one that isn't available.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (4 March 2017):
 It's ok to like someone, but doing something about it is not ok if you know they are already in a relationship.
At your age - and assuming this boy is of a similar age - relationships don't tend to last very long, especially long distance ones. In your shoes I would keep chatting, see him as a friend, but don't allow anything else to happen until such time as he is no longer in a relationship. Then you can go for it with a clear conscience.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 March 2017):
Don't get into the habit of "taking" other girls' boyfriends. You're young and this relationship probably wouldn't last years, so it's not worth it. If he wanted to be with you, he'd break up with his girlfriend before knowing how you feel because stringing someone along when you like someone else isn't fair.
Just let your feelings fade unless he becomes single.
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