A
female
age
36-40,
*gyzee
writes:Dear cupid, you've indeed been of great help to me, and I do appreciate everything. Pls I need your advice on an issue bothering my heart. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend who loves me so much for 7yrs now(we've lived together for 2yrs now), although I met his family for the first time 3months ago. I sincerely thought we had a beautiful relationship, free from unfaithfulness, but I was wrong, I found out he cheated on me twice in 2010, I let it slide, cos I found out 2yrs later and he was so sorry abt it. Then last year (2013) I caught him making out with a girl in the back seat of his car. I left him despite all his pleas, but I still came back to him after endless beggings and a threat of killing himself. Now, there's a big problem, I've not been able to trust him, I have so much doubts and I see myself unhappy most times as a result of an unsettled mind. Despite the length of time we've been together and all we've been through, Should I walk out of the relationship? Pls help. N/B: I'm 28yrs old and he's 35.
View related questions:
cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2014): You are doing the right thing by leaving. Make sure you have NO contact with him, block his number if you can or just ignore all calls and text. It will be easier for you both to move on if you don't talk to him at all. Good luck.
A
female
reader, ImissFuturama  +, writes (25 July 2014):
 "Pls friends, what do I make of his statements?"
I wouldn't believe him. It's not worth the risk. He's cheated too many times to be trusted. It doesn't matter what he says. Some people are convincing liars. You're doing the right thing in packing your bags.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ngyzee +, writes (25 July 2014):
Ngyzee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a million for ur advice. U guys have been so helpful. I sat him down and I told him, I couldn't go on this way, dat I've tried to trust him once again, but its so difficult if not impossible and dat we need to move on with our lives apart. His words: 'where is all this coming from? Why are u digging up past issues? Do u always have to remind of the several mistakes I made? I've told u I will never cheat on u again, and I meant every word, or have u noticed any thing I've done wrong again? I've been faithful since then, and u're not seeing the effort I've made, bla bla bla. Pls friends, what do I make of his statements? Meanwhile, he's gone to work, and he's aware I'm leaving, perhaps he thinks I'm joking. Well, I'm backing my bags ready to leave.
...............................
A
female
reader, ImissFuturama +, writes (24 July 2014):
Yes, you should get out of this relationship. Do you not want peace of mind? Do you really want to live your life constantly wondering where he is and what he's doing? Besides, you already know. You're also putting your health at risk by being with a cheater. If he hasn't already given you sexually transmitted diseases, count yourself lucky. And get out of this before he does. Just because you only caught him making out doesn't mean he wouldn't have had sex with that girl given the chance. For all you know, it would have escalated to that had you not found him when you did. He's sorry he got caught, NOT sorry about what he did.
Don't let him guilt you into staying. He's making empty threats of his own life to manipulate you. End it for good this time, and DON'T fall for it again. He does NOT love you, regardless of what he says. Actions speak louder than words, and he doesn't act like someone in love. All he wants out of you is someone he can count on to be there for him when there's no one else around. Do you really want to be someone's fall back crutch?
...............................
A
female
reader, whatalady27 +, writes (24 July 2014):
I know exactly how you feel. It's easy to be an outsider and say "oh just dump him", but when someone is in front of you begging to take them back, and you truly love them, it can be hard to walk away. However, history is not on his side. He needs to decide if he is committed or not immediately. Sit him down and tell him that either he can fully commit( in which case I recommend going to couples therapy if he is serious about this.) otherwise, you can't put yourself through the stress and pain of not being able to trust him. I know how that feels, and it eats away at you. But you deserve to be in a loving relationship full of trust, and your current situation is unhealthy for you.
...............................
|
