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I told him I'm pregnant today. He became abusive and aggressive with me. Where do I go from here?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Faded love, Health, Pregnancy, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 February 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 February 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *pple-s writes:

hi everyone, im 22 and this guy is 20. i need some good advice here. today i found out that i'm pregnant this is my first time being pregnant and the guy im pregnant for he's a player.

its been nearly 3half weeks i havent heard from him. he's been lying to me that he cares about about me and that he loves me but his words never match his actions.

but ive realized that he only says these things when he wants sex. he knows that i really like him, but now he has given out my number to his friends.

Now i have people pranking me.

anyway today i called him to tell him that i'm pregnant.

he came round to my place we talked but he kept picking arguments so he can leave to be with his friends. he started shouting in my face saying, i don't like you and i don't care about you.

please delete my number. he grabbed my phone and deleted my number out his phone then deleted mine out of his phone.

i even asked him why do you hate me sooo much. what have i done wrong? he said, 'nothing, i just want you out of my life'. He then pushed me away then started laughing.

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A female reader, apple-s United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2011):

apple-s is verified as being by the original poster of the question

apple-s agony auntthe thing is i dont no his mother he wont take me to meet his mother, i dont know where he lives he doesnt want to take me there. i called him today i asked him if he told his mum about he said no, then he said that i should give him 3 reasons why he should.

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A female reader, SweetSmoochy United States +, writes (19 February 2011):

SweetSmoochy agony auntI had a guy treat me like that. Thankfully I wasn't bearing his child at the time. This guy is a total ass and didn't deserve your company whatsoever.

You said he's a player. If a sperm slipped through to impregnate you, who knows what it brought with it. I know this is a scary thought, but you really need to get tested ASAP if this guy has been sleeping around.

I agree that the guy is a jerk, I also agree that you should stay away from him. You may want to consider alternatives to becoming a single parent of an accidental offspring, such as adoption. Best of luck and many prayers to you.

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A female reader, XxMishxX United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2011):

hey,

has anyone ever thought this guy is scared? if he is a player then, hes probably in a state of shock, he wanted sex, not a relationship never mind a child.

i say contact him again. even if he deleted his number, you still have texts on your phone? call log? even ask your network provider for a recent call log? if not surely you know where he lives? you need to contact him and talk to each other like adults, you both made this baby its both your problems. do you want to keep this baby? if so he needs to keep in touch, pay CSA and see this child! if he wont listen and you keep this baby, then least your baby wont be brought up around this scum.

If you want to have an abortion then thats fine too, it is totally up to you, dont worry about what he thinks!

He is young, maybe he doesnt know how to deal with it, if you keep this baby his whole life chances aswell, im not sticking up for him but the father usually geta scared and over welmed too, hes probably just very immature at the moment.

To be honest though you should of seen this coming, didnt you use protection? you should of known there was a chance of pregnancy.

talk to your docs, him and parents, family and friends before you make a decision, think long and hard about it as you may regret it later in life.

Also get checked out for sti's. next time be more careful.

good luck

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A female reader, BeautifulCapricorn United States +, writes (19 February 2011):

Stay away from him ... go far away from him because if you don’t he will hurt you really bad mentally and physically. Just remember to serve him the child support papers when the baby is born.... don’t waste any feelings on this jerk

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A female reader, viona United Kingdom +, writes (19 February 2011):

Sweetie, don't panic. I know how you feel, and God be with you. Unfortunately your guy is still young doing childish things. You will find no way talking to him seriously as a future dad because all he wants to hang out with his friends. He doesn't need any responsibilities and you can't rely on him. Think wisely to get him under your knees honey. If you are gonna tell your parents about your pregnancy, then let his parents know. This is my opinion, as you'll be having a child from unreliable person. Take care and God be with you, sweetie :)

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A female reader, AuntyMaur Australia +, writes (19 February 2011):

AuntyMaur agony auntIt's appears he only wanted the pleasure of your company, not the responibility of a relationship let alone a child.

Do you want this child? Think carefully about your future being a single mother. I would suggest you urgently see your doctor/councillor to discuss options.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011):

This guy is a jerk. You are better off without him, but if you want him in the child’s life you will have to talk to him. More than likely he is terrified of the situation. You definitely will need to get child support, custody, and a paternity test. Trust me he isn’t worth your time. You are just another girl he has on a list of girls he has sex with. It may hurt, but he isn’t worth your time. It'd be a waste to pursue him other than to get help for the child.

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