A
female
age
51-59,
*hinachik
writes:I'm so confused and dont understand why I'm feeling this way. I met a lovely man who I didn't expect to have feelings for and we have been seeing each other on and off for 3 months. He lives about an hour away on RAF base and though its hard, we have stayed in touch and I've developed feelings for him. I think he has feelings for me too, but can't be sure. He went away for a month and we texted nearly every day- he asked me to take time off to be with him when he got back, and I did so. For one reason or another when he did come back, we spent very little time together and he was distant. I have told him I'm falling for him, and now he's not so keen to see me. I don't know what to say or do, but I feel very foolish for telling him how I was feeling- he still texts, but its ambiguous and vague.I'm confused and don't know what to think. Any advice would be appreciated. To me- he obviously dosen't feel the same, but at the same time dosen't want to let me go either...Thanks
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (23 July 2010):
 Yes, unfortunately I have to agree with Zayla that it probably wasn't a good idea to tell him you were falling for him......one other thing that stands out in your post is that you tell us you were seeing each other "off and on" for three months.
I don't know, but it may well be that he had less of an investment in you or else (unless prevented by his duties) I would think your meetings would have been more frequent.
I also don't know whether you were just getting together to go out somewhere or whether sex was involved - and no, you don't have to tell us! I say this because it's well worth while taking things slow in getting to know one another before taking it to "the next level."
All you can do now is to pull back a bit and remain friendly, while at the same time indicating that you have a busy, full life of your own. I don't normally recommend what I'm going to say now, but perhaps the next time (if there is a next time) he asks you out, you might decline because you just happen to have other plans for that day......the idea is that if he sees you have withdrawn a bit, MAYBE he'll relax and as a result be more inclined to pursue you. It might or might not "work." As Zayla said, men like to do the chasing........or, as my father once told me, "a man chases a woman until she catches him."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): Dont' text him anymore and don't ever tell a man that you are falling for them even if you are b/c if he do, you risk getting played and used if not careful. Men like to chase...let this guy chase you.
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