A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 25 and my boyfriend and I have been together for close to 4 years. We have talked about our future and marriage many times. I will admit that lately I have been pressuring him to marry me. I went on a trip for work and while I was gone I realized that I never want to spend a day without him. I returned home and told him that I wouldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with me. After a very long conversation he said that he didn't know what he wanted and that he needs time to think about our relationship. We decided to take a break to think about what he really want. He says he loves me, but that he doesn't know if he will ever be ready for marriage. I really want to be married and have a family. I am heatbroken by this whole mess. Will he ever fight to be with me and fight for us or am I on my way to being single again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): I'm afraid that if you have been together four years now and have talked about marriage other occasions, and he sounds frankly unwilling to agree to marriage. Especially as you say you are pressuring him about it. He is backing off. Given all this, its not very likely that he will change his mind and suddenly decide he wants to marry you after all.
Maybe he DOES have feelings for you and does love you, but if he told you he doesn't know if he'll ever be ready for marriage, you would be well advised to take his statement with the utmost seriousness.
If what you want is marriage and a family, as hard as it will be to end it with this man, you really need to think long and hard about your chances of getting what you want with him. It sounds very improbable, sorry to say.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 You have admitted to pressuring him lately about marriage. This has made him think! At the moment he's not ready to settle down and you going on about it all the time will only add more pressure and make him run in the other direction. You still have plenty time to marry and have a family so just be patient. He's telling you how he feels NOW... doesn't mean he'll feel the same way in 5 years from now.
Give him a break if you want to hold on to him or you're going to lose him altogether.
Eve
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): he will never be ready to marry....you....unfortunately those are the facts...while i do not doubt this man loves you dearly, either he doesnt want to marry you or he doesnt beleive in marriage. take a good look at your relationship, if marriage is important to you, you may want to reevaluate your situation, and start looking for a man who finds marriage to be as important as you do....good luck!
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