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I told him I fancied another guy to make him jealous but it backfired!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 December 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

I really like this guy. He is 18 I am 16. He is from Dubai but recently came over to Wales to go to college. I didnt know he liked me at first and i told him i fancied his friend to see if he got jealous. Which he did, then i told him i fancied him and now he is telling me he fancies this other girl that i know. I dont know what i should do because now i am jealous and really upset! Its really getting me down, coz he is one of the nicest people i have ever met and i dont want to lose him! please help me!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005):

Damb Girl, You sure messed up! If you like a guy you don't tell him that you like some one else so that he'd be jealous! You should have flirted with other guys around him, to see his reaction. If he's jelouse.. BINGO..he's yours! After you noticed that he was jelouse you casually every now and then glance over at him and wink or something... But what you did was not cool... he's probably getting even with you.. well Good luck!

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A female reader, Starr +, writes (29 November 2005):

Look to tell you the truth,I don't understand why you would even tell him that if you did not mean it. You two are not even together what did you think would happen? Of course he moved on to the next girl have you ever heard of the phrase"you never miss what you never had"? Girl when you start off playing games you get childish things. All that is left for you to do now is tell him what you did and how you feel about him if it's not too late then you may get your man.

Good Luck

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (28 November 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntLesson One: Don't play mind games with people, particularly with people you like. Be honest and truthful as much as you possibly can.

Lesson Two: Accept your stuff-ups and learn to move on.

Because you didn't even wait to have a relationship with your Dubai Guy before you started messing with his mind, you probably don't have any choice but to "lose him". Sorry. How do you win someone back after you've tried to manipulate their affections for your own gain? You can't.

As to what you can do with this situation now, start by apologising. That's the adult thing to do. Then tell him the whole truth, that you made the stupid, juvenile mistake of trying to make him jealous so that he'd want you. Explain that you realise now that you were being selfish and that you're sorry about how it led to all these conflicts. Ask him if he'd consider forgiving you and if you can start over as friends. Then, in future, refer to Lesson One, above.

Anything beyond that is completely out of your hands. Please don't complicate matters any further by trying more manipulation. Real relationships that last are based on honesty, not games.

And if he's too embarrassed and angry to forgive you, then please refer to Lesson Two, above.

Sorry, dear.

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