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I thought we had chemistry but now he's back with his es gf. I'm confused-so what should I do?

Tagged as: Friends, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 October 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hey! Well my issue is.. I'm 27 and I have feelings for a friend of mine that is 20. We've been friends for about 6-7 months now and we have such a great time together. The first 3-4 months of our friendship, we'd spend every weekend together hanging out or staying in and watch movies with a few friends. As time went on I started to develop feelings for him. The only thing is at that time his ex girlfriend was pregnant with his kid and he just separated from on and off 5 year relationship with another girl. I had spoken to his best friend of 11 years about this and thought he'd be the best person to ask. His friend told me that the guy had expressed that he had felt the same for me, and would have already asked me out if he didn't have so many problems going on in his life. The friend told me that i shouldnt tell him the way I felt about him because he will turn me down. I eventually got up the courage to tell this guy how I felt anyway, but all I got in response was that he didn't feel the same for me. We stayed friends afterwards and continued to hang out with each other. Now his son is born and he had gotten back with his girlfriend of 5 years. I'm very confused because when we are together the vibe is great and the chemistry between us is crazy. Any thoughts on what I should do.

View related questions: best friend, ex girlfriend, his ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006):

I agree with what Camille said. I know you must be going through secret

hell about this & all your own chemisrty is probably going haywire, but

really it sounds like he's trying to make his own best decisions.

Try to think about something else.

Force yourself to remember life before this guy! If someone as good as

he turned out to be liked you so much, I bet there's a free, single guy

around the corner who will abolutely adore you! Don't be alone, but

go take a run or visit friends. Sometimes when I feel bad I think of

someone like my grandmother, and what would she say?

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (20 October 2006):

camille agony auntI'm sorry to say but you have to respect his decision even if you think that he's being untrue to his feelings. His life does sound complicated and for someone who's been in a relationship since he was 15 and now has a baby, he sounds really responsible and mature. I think the best advise I can give is, step back and give him space. Continue being a friend but don't push forward with your feelings. Let him do what he's doing as this may be what he thinks is the right thing to do and it wouldn't be fair to challenge that. Perhaps his friend's advice was right too, he did warn you not to say anything. I'm sorry that's not what you want to hear but I think you're best trying to put it behind you.

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