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I thought we had a deep love, now he's gone, think he'll come back??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 15 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *urorepetite writes:

Hello Everyone,

i would like to ask your opinions even though i already have my idea of this whole.

A week ago i broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months. I know it was not a long time, but we were friends, very close friends before, so we knew each others characters and we accepted each other the way we were. We fell in love slowly but deeply, surely.

We were a whole together, even just our presence or voice was like a medication. We never fought, we just loved , talked spent all the time together. Unfortunately, i am from another country, so for my uni studies i had to move back home 3 months ago. I wanted to stop it, because i was scared of long distance, i trusted him,but i was afraid of all the pain it might cause to him, to me. He persuaded me to go on, he said he never loved anyone so much in his life, he want me forever, its impossible for him to lose me.

He said our relation is normail, only this "lil" obstacle of the distance for this short time. Wehad some hard time, our ups and downs, but we never forget to tell how much we loved. He was supposed to come to see me this weekend. And i will go bac to his country in september, not in the the same city, but 3 hours away. At least in the same country.

But 3 weeks ago i made a mistake, he was quite busy with friends, so we barely talked, and me who got totally dependant on our chats of 3 h per day, i was missing him like crazy. So on a friday night i sent a mail, full of worries concerning our future, if he didnt have time for me now, when he will have? i know i should not have sent that sad mail, i know.

Next day he called me to talk it over, he was scared of losing me, he said its impossible for him to live without me for any second of his life, i am his priority. Well we talked it over, we finished by saying i love you. Next day, when we talked in the evening, his voice changed. He went out with friends the night before,he had fun. No, no toher girl involved there, i asked. But he said, he thought it over, and my email broke something in him, he is not sure he still loves me. He needs a few day to think it over, so i gave him time. He said, if i can do something during this time, to help, i should. So i did all a woman can do for her love. Mails, sms all. I tld him several times, how much i want him, miss him and i said sorry for the mail too.

But after a week, he sent me a mail, that he needs break for the moment to get over with the pain i cause with the mail. It broke his love. And he hopes from his whole heart life give us a second chance because it not only me who imagined him for my whole life, he did it too.

He knows what he found in me, he cant find in anyone else, but that day he was not ready to start it over yet.He said time might help him, he needs time now. But may be by that time i will find someone else, and he will accept it if it makes me happy. I replied that i love him still.

It was a week ago he didnt contact me. He knows he could have come to sort it out face to face this weekend, he wont. And he knows i am back in the end of August, close to him. I really dont know how to feel, i am totally broken. Seriously can deep love disappear one night to another? i never cheated, lied to him, i loved him more than anyone, and him too. Why is this whole happened? Do we have a second chance ever? :(

View related questions: broke up, fell in love, I love you, long distance

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A female reader, loraemoon United Kingdom +, writes (15 July 2010):

loraemoon agony auntbeing apart from someone you love that much is very hard,it is very strange for someone to love you that much never want to be apart from you and then say they need time, i really dont think your email would of had anything to do with that at all, he knows how much you love him, why does he feel he needs time? i dont know but be sure that he will express himself to you before to long

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010):

-Long distances relationship never works, either you change country, or you leave him, to avoid more pain.

-Unless, you known someone for more than 3 years, it isn't deep love... it's lust.

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