New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

I thought there were mutual feelings but that the timing was off.

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Friends with Benefits, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 May 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2016)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Definitely needs some advice here,

So my boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time now, (3+ years). While I do care for him, we are opposites and have been on and off.

2 years ago, I went on a trip with my school and met a guy (also from the same university). We instantly clicked, I felt our connection and he felt it too. I left out the bit that I was in a relationship, and he was pretty upset when he found out.

After the trip, we remained friends and I constantly hang out with him. I don't know if it's just me, but there's sparks between us. When my boyfriend and I called it off last time, I ran to his house and told him what had happened. While I was crying, he was there to comfort me. We cuddled that night for the first time and maybe it was because I liked the attention, but it felt so much better and comforting than my boyfriend's.

I recently found out that he has a friend with benefits. And the girl is also liked him as well. This crushed me, even though I seriously had no right to be upset with him. All this time, I thought we mutually liked each other, but the timing was off. Now I'm not entirely sure what we are to each other anymore. What should I do?

View related questions: crush, friend with benefits, spark, university

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (24 May 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI can see why you feel crushed, because you have feelings for him, maybe he does for you as well, but I am pretty sure he probably accepted that you had a boyfriend therefore he carried on with his life and had you as a friend and nothing more.

He is having sex with someone else, and she likes him, therefore you need to be careful you don't end up causing a love triangle. Talk to him and ask him what he wants. Maybe at the moment all he wants is some casual fun with this girl. You then need to accept that and enjoy single life.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (24 May 2016):

BrownWolf agony aunt

"we are opposites and have been on and off."

Opposites has nothing to do with on and off. If you are right for each other, it will be on all the time. If you are not, then it will be off, and should stay off.

The connection with the other guy is there to show you your ex was wrong for you. But as "Janniepeg" said, be cautious. Infatuation and love are two very different things.

Personally...I would stay away from any guy that has a "friend with benefits". Why? If a man is willing to just have casual sex without any commitment...what do you think he will do with you when moment their is a problem in your relationship? Run right back to his "friend". If he is not committed to his "friend" and gets what he wants anyway, why would he commit to you??

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (23 May 2016):

janniepeg agony auntI would be cautious about being so sure about "connection." It's easy to feel it with people, but the kind of connection that lasts is hard to find. Now, if what he felt for you was real, he can man up and tell her the truth that he found someone else. Then he has to be honest and keep her at a distance. You can't guarantee that he would ditch her for you, just because you broke up with your ex. You can express to him that what a pity that he kind of has someone, or else you would be interested in dating him. His response would tell you how ready he is.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "I thought there were mutual feelings but that the timing was off."

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156356999941636!