A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey there Aunts and Uncles!I have a quick question for you guys, you may think it's stupid because it probably is.So a week ago, I created a profile on this dating app and met a guy pretty quickly. We exchanged face pics and added each other on Snapchat. We got along great like immediately! We spent hours snapchating all night. We got to know each other and he seemed pretty great in almost every way, except, he lives in the U.K. And I'm in the USA.I don't usually get into this type of thing when someone I met online, but we hit it off great. He kept saying he wished he could meet me and I feel the same way. So over the next week, we were talking a lot. But he's in the military and so he didn't get to use his phone as much as he did the first day we met, since he met me on his late day of vacation, but whenever he could write me or snap me, he did. Well the day before yesterday, he wasn't writing me as much. I would send a message and he would read it but not reply for a long time. Then I'd send another and then he'd reply. Idk why but it bothered me because he always replies to me. I tried not to think too much on it because ya know, he is working and I just met him still.Well, I was having a bad day that day and even when I did talk to him at the end of the day, I let him know I was having a bad day and he didn't really seem to care. He kept talking to me about totally different things. He wasn't as sweet as we was the day prior to that. Before we stopped talking, he told me he missed me.So before I went to sleep tht night, I sent him some snaps so he can see them in the morning.. He loves for me to spam him with pics and stuff. Well, when I woke up, I saw he read them but didn't reply. So I sent my usually good morning pics and all day, he never opened them or replied or anything, but I saw he viewed my snap chat story, so I don't know why he didn't have time to open my messages.Well this morning, I just so happen to have a bad dream and wake up around 3:30am. Which is 9:30am his time and still he hasn't opened them. I send him one more message basically saying good morning and he replies saying he has had no access to his phone at all. I ask him what happened and he said he basically has to leave it in his room when he's working.The thing is, I'm not in the U.K. And I'm not in the military, so that may be true... but I don't see how he hasn't used his phone AT ALL when he's clearly read my Snapchat story? Even when I checked my latest story views that I posted last night, I saw he had viewed those as well. Even though we're in different time zones, he always sends me some kind of message or snap. He even stays up super late just to talk to me, or sends me a video whenever he has a moment to say hi. Now he's telling me he hasn't used his phone at all in an entire day? I know I've only known him for a week and all, so I have no room to complain but my instinct says he's lying. For some reason, despite how much he claimed to of liked me, I think he might of lost interest pretty quick. He hasn't even replied to my last message. So I sent him a message saying not to worry about it, and to take care because I don't want to be given the run around. I've always believed that if you really wanted to talk to someone, you simply would. Do you think I'm right to think he's not into me, or could he be telling the truth?
View related questions:
met online, military Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 May 2017):
 I think reality set in faster in his end than yours. The likelihood of anything coming of this is minuscule. You are so very young and live half a World away. It might be fun to chat with each other and live a sort of fantasy courtship, but reality? It wasn't going to work.
If you are SERIOUSLY looking for someone, stick to guys in your GREAGRAPHICAL area, someone you can ACTUALLY hang out with in person, go on dates with etc.
Maybe this guy sounded so great because the whole notion of a "thing" that was unobtainable?
It's OK that it didn't pan out. At least you know that there ARE guys out there whom you might fancy. Just... try and be a little bit more realistic and practical.
And while THIS guy "likes" clinginess... you will discover that the majority of guys DO NOT. So slow down. GIVE what you get, in a sense. That means if he texts you long texts you can text long texts back, if he takes a while to answer, it's OK for you to do the same. Don't go OVERBOARD trying to do "cute" things like little videos etc. THAT is what you can do when a relationship IS established.
Just dial it down a little and forget about this guy. While he does sound lovely... He isn't it.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 May 2017):
 I don't see how it could have worked for you both anyway it sounds to me like he is lonely and wants attention from multiple girls who he will never meet hence going to the other side off the world to contact a girl. Try sticking to guys in your own area it will be much easier to get to know someone.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys! I know I've being a bit crazy and it's probably because I may still be on a rebound from my last relationship that I wasn't in for 3 years... Some things that I left out that I should of mentioned: He says he loves Cliny-ness. He says he is kind of a clingy guy himself.. He would ask me to blow up his inbox with pictures and messages and videos because he loved seeing and talking to me. He would stay up all night just to talk to me. Message me whenever he had an opportunity.. At least for the first few days. So when he stopped doing all this, it did make me wonder what was up. I didn't talk to him all day yesterday, but of course he was posting snaps and viewed all mine (yet he can't use his phone) and I finally told him very calmly and cool that if he didn't like me, it was okay but I wanted him to tell me the truth because it's making me over think things and I don't want to be that way. And instead he lied and said he LOVED me but couldn't use his phone at all haha.. I just said okay. But once again, he said he had no access to his phone but he was posting up snaps and stuff so I just told him it was best to part ways and I apologized for being a crazy American girl with my long message and I wished him good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 May 2017):
 I think that anyone can fake interest over a few days, but that after a week or two... They get bored. So yes, he probably did act all cute and sweet at first to see what you were like and then it wasnt a hit for him. So he stopped putting in so much effort. You dont know him after a week, you cant really say he "always" replies etc. He did reply fast a few days, and then not. My guess is he just isnt that interested.
...............................
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (14 May 2017):
 Yes, you're correct, he's not that into you.
I'm not gonna lie, you're being very full on. I would hate what you're doing. Double texting is one of my absolute pet hates when it comes to girls, so much so that I've stopped speaking to some people in that past because of it. Can't you just wait for a reply? And if he doesn't reply then take it as he's not interested, it's pretty simple really.
Let's be realistic, he's in the military and you're both in different countries. A chance of this working is next to nothing. You've been speaking for a week and you're already on edge over him, to put it bluntly, you're wasting your time even worrying about this, forget about him and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (14 May 2017):
 Truthfully? If you wrote as much to him as you have done on this post, he is probably just exhausted from reading!
Kidding of course, but you do come across as very intense. And I am more than a little suspicious and cynical that he managed to chat to you so much while working, especially given his alleged employer.
He's someone you contacted with a WEEK ago. It's not like you have even met in person. In your shoes I would just pop him on the back burner and revisit the dating app.
...............................
|
